Partly cloudy, chance of rain
by KK456
Summary: As Tess returns to the ED after the crash and Fletch's departure, will her new allegiance with Connie help her to move on?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One... The best medicine

"I hate myself. I hate who I am and what I've become"

"Hate is a strong word, Tess"

Tess looked at the therapist, and wondered for the hundredth time why she'd let Connie talk her into coming. It would help her to move on, Connie had said, help her to understand why she felt the way she did, but raking up the past only inflicted more pain.

"Why is it you're feeling this way? Do you blame him for everything that's happened?" The therapist asked, tapping his pen against the table

Tess hesitated before she spoke, thinking about her answer to the question. Did she somewhere in her subconscious actually blame him?

"Partly" Tess admitted, clasping her hands together in her lap. She bowed her head, studying her hands as she fiddled with her fingers nervously. She hadn't even spoken to Zoe or Charlie , about how she really felt, about Fletch, or about the baby. They were her closest confidantes, her best friends, aside from Fletch, but recently they hadn't even been on speaking terms. Maybe that's why she found herself confiding in a complete stranger. Maybe in some way, she felt she'd have some sort of objective view from an outsider, someone to tell her that she wasn't going crazy.

"I guess I blame him for still loving me despite the fact I hurt him"

Tess looked up and caught his gaze.

"How did you hurt him?"

Tess forced back the tears as for the first time in a long time, allowed herself to remember

"_**Have I done something? I know I said we shouldn't call while I was away, but you just disappeared"**_

_**"I had some things I needed to sort out"**_

_**"Tess- I don't know what's going on here"**_

_**"I know, I'm sorry. I don't think we should see each other anymore"**_

_**"Why?"**_

_**"While you were away, I had time to think, and it's not what I want anymore"**_

_**"You know I couldn't get out of the holiday, right?"**_

_**"Because you're married, they're your family, and that's why this can't work"**_

_**"And that's the only reason? Well if you're sure that's what you want. We said it was just a fling anyway, so-"**_

_**"So you're okay with that then?"**_

_**"Me? Yeah course. It was what it was. Fun. I'll let you get on"**_

_**"If I hear another pun today, I'm going to sedate myself"**_

_**"No you're alright. I just came to say I'm shooting off now"**_

_**"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow"**_

_**"Tess- you do know I love you, right?"**_

_**"I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way, okay? I'll er see you tomorrow"**_

_**"Fletch-"**_

_**"You're not pregnant are you? At least not anymore anyway. So when was it? While I was away or when you were on leave and avoiding me? Not a word, not even a courtesy call"**_

_**"You said yourself you didn't want to be a dad again. I couldntve coped"**_

_**"You didn't know that at the time though did ya?"**_

_**"I thought if you didn't know, It couldn't hurt you"**_

_**"Well it does. I can't deny it. I'll see you tomorrow"**_

"And he walked off and left me"

A tear rolled down Tess' cheek and she quickly wiped it away as her therapist spoke.

"Have you talked to Fletch about any of this?"

Tess shook her head vigorously

"No. Of course not"

"Why? Did you feel he wouldn't understand?"

Tess dark eyes snapped up and narrowed on her therapist. Fletch was her best friend and at one time she spoke to him about everything. Of course he would've understood, and would've done anything for her. The whole Peter Trenton mess had shown her that. That was the sort of man he was.

Tess allowed herself a small smile as she thought about him, his cheeky smile, the way he made her laugh without really trying, the way he tried to encourage her to loosen up and live a little. He was easy to be with.

"No. He's a good man. I know he would've been there for me."Tess said quietly "I was just trying to protect him. I didn't want to break up his family"

"And how do you feel about him now?"

" look" Tess snapped, beginning to lose her patience. "There is no way you can mitigate what I've done . Fletch was married with three-four kids. He was my staff nurse. I aborted his baby- our baby without telling him, told him I didn't love him, lied to his wife about us, betrayed the trust she put in me, actually delivered their baby against my better judgement. What the hell was I thinking?!" She frowned, as the words tumbled out of her mouth.

"It's not very Christian is it?" Tess snorted, realising how ridiculous her predicament sounded.

"Tess, you're human. You can't punish yourself forever"

Tess paused and took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions under control. She looked up and stared her therapist straight in the eye.

"I more or less told him to leave. And now I'm never going to see him again"

The therapist sat back in his expansive leather chair and eyed Tess thoughtfully over the rim of his glasses. Tess watched as he clasped his hands across his chest.

"You still love him"

Tess opened her mouth to protest, to tell him he was wrong, but the words caught in her throat and escaped as a strangled croak. Tess coughed slightly to clear her throat and took a deep breath.

" Yes. I do. And I hate myself for it"


	2. Chapter 2

Thunder rumbled away in the distance as the storm clouds gathered over the grey skies of Holby. The torrential rain that had been threatening for the last few hours finally arrived, falling in sheets across the streets, and showed no sign of letting up. Ambulances sat queued up in the ambulance bay, outside the Emergency Department, that was already bursting at the seams.

Strangers sat huddled together in Triage, cold and wet from the storm, some with injuries, others just wanting to find some sort of safe haven from the punishment that Mother Nature had chosen to inflict.

"This is Emily Jones! Twenty Three involved in a multi vehicle RTC!"

Jeff Collier burst through the doors of the ED with a hysterical patient, shouting and writhing on the trolley, attempting to pull ofF the oxygen mask that covered the lower half of her face. Raindrops slid down his forehead, eventually dripping off the end of his nose, and his rain soaked uniform clung to his body like a second skin. " complaining of chest and pelvic pain, Sats ninety two, GCS of ten!"

"No, No,No!" Connie exclaimed as she appeared beside Jeff. "I told you to divert!"

Jeff shook his head as he shook the droplets of rain from his jacket

"Sorry Ms Beauchamp, no time!" He exclaimed "the traffics murder out there!"

"Okay! Fine Cal! Ethan! You're with me" Connie barked, waving a manicured finger in the brothers direction.

Tess checked the clock between cubicles and Resus for the fourth time in an hour as Jeff and Connie disappeared through the doors with the latest victim of the worst rainstorm in history. She was already two nurses down due to the inclement weather, and Robyn was due in half and hour ago and still hadn't shown up. The cold, grey day mirrored the mood she'd harboured for the past few months and certainly hadn't done anything to improve it.

As she finally saw her last patient out of the department, she sighed heavily and plopped wearily into the vacant seat behind admin. She winced at her throbbing feet, protesting at the fact she hadn't actually sat down since seven am.

Tess caught a flash of ginger out of the corner of her eye, and reluctantly rose from the seat she currently occupied.

"Robyn! Can you explain to me why exactly you are exactly half an hour late?"

Tess stood crossed armed in the middle of the ED, glaring at her junior nurse as Robyn flung herself through the entrance doors with a clatter.

"I'm sorry Tess!" She exclaimed, breathless and red cheeked from sprinting half a mile from the bus stop "The main road was flooded and the bus was late-"

Robyn skidded to halt, oblivious to the puddle of water forming at her feet, and began to prize away the wet strands of hair that were plastered to her sodden cheeks. Tess looked the young nurse up and down, and wrinkled her nose in disdain at the black streaks of mascara smudged liberally underneath Robyn's eyes.

"It's not good enough " Tess snapped "You look an absolute state, Robyn! Go and sort yourself out and see me in my office in ten minutes!"

A drenched and bedraggled Robyn bowed her head and nodded as Lofty appeared beside her, a gentle hand on her elbow as a protective measure. Louise and Noel averted their gaze, busying themselves with everything anything menial, anything that deflected Tess' attentions.

"Tess-" he began, in defence of Robyn.

"Mrs Barnes in cubicles" Tess replied, looking sharply at Lofty " Her wound needs dressing. Can you deal with it, please. "

Lofty bit his lip as Tess brushed past him and rounded the admin desk.

"Sorry Tess, but that's Rita's patient-"

Tess' head snapped up, her expression darkening. She gathered up a stack of files beside Louise and clutched them against her chest as she walked slowly and meaningfully towards the two nurses.

Robyn's eyes widened, a mixture of terror and foreboding flitting across her face as Tess came to a stop in front of them. Robyn had never seen that particular shade of purple colour Tess' face before, and knew instantly, that it was not a good sign.

Tess spoke slowly, her voice low and dangerous

"May I remind you, Nurse Chiltern, that you are still on probation in this department after your last misdemeanour-" Charlie hesitated, recognising the tone of Tess' voice and glanced up from the notes he was updating. His eyes narrowed on the scene in front of him, a frown beginning to crease his brow. He'd never, in the eleven years he'd worked with Tess, heard her use that tone with one of her own nurses.

"I appreciate that-" Lofty began

"I don't think you do!" Tess continued, "believe me, I won't have any trouble filling your position!"

"Yeah, like Fletch's" Robyn mumbled under her breath.

Tess' head snapped back to Robyn,

"I'm sorry?!"

Robyn opened her mouth to respond, to tell Tess indignantly how unjust and unfair she was being. She'd been working up to this moment for the last two weeks and now had gathered the courage she needed. She caught Lofty's gaze, his dark eyes pleading with her to keep quiet, for all their sakes. Reluctantly, she snapped her mouth shut and looked back at Tess.

"Nothing" she pouted.

Tess squeezed the files close to her chest as she felt the anger begin to rise from the pit of her stomach. She'd been too much of a push over with her nurses for far too long. It ended now.

"Robyn, I don't need to tell you that your performance lately has been less than satisfactory, to say the least. Your time keeping is unacceptable and your clinical skills leave a lot to be desired. If you spent less time gossiping and more time concentrating on your job, then you might actually be a good nurse!"

Charlie couldn't help but wince at Tess' harsh words, watching as Robyn's eyes filled with tears. She bit her lip, determined not to burst into tears in the middle of the ED. Her cheeks burned with shame as Tess continued to outline her failings, and before long, Robyn was left wondering how she ever managed to qualify at all. She felt everyone's eyes were on her, and wished feverently the ground would swallow her up and save her from this humiliation.

"With that in mind" Tess finished, her stare settling on Lofty "I suggest you both get back to work!"

Tess suddenly felt a tug of guilt as a tear rolled down Robyn's cheek, which she quickly wiped away with her sleeve. She felt wretched for coming down on all of them so hard, especially Robyn and almost didn't recognise herself anymore. She finally felt as though she was righting a wrong, and if she hadn't've been such a pushover, she would never have fallen in love with one of her nurses. By presenting a harsh, professional exterior, she was protecting herself, and her heart.

The truth was, she'd heard Robyn blaming her for Fletch leaving and she was angry, although mostly at herself. It had been almost 2 months since he'd left, and she thought by now she'd have moved on, forgotten about him. But he was still there, occupying her thoughts most of the day and the last thing she thought about before she fell asleep at night. Maybe she just needed to try harder to forget.

Ignoring the sense of loss stabbing at her heart like a knife, Tess strode towards her office. Reaching out, she hesitated with her hand on the door handle and turned back to see Robyn and Lofty still standing by admin, looking completely shellshocked.

"NOW PLEASE!" She ordered, before entering her office and slamming the door.

"Someone got out of bed the wrong side of bed this morning" Louise commented drily as she snatched up the phone. "Holby ED?"

"Cow!" Robyn murmured, glowering in the direction of Tess' office.

"Don't let it get to you" Lofty said quietly, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's not personal. She tore strips off Rita the other day"

Robyn attempted a smile

"I'd better go and get changed" she sniffed " Hitlers distant cousin wants to see me in her office"

"Robyn-"

She looked up as Charlie appeared beside them, his face full of empathy for the young nurse

"It's not my fault I was late, Charlie. Honest" Robyn told him "Tess didn't give me a chance to explain"

Charlie nodded.

" I know" he replied, with a sigh " Look why don't you go and get dried off and Lofty, you deal with Mrs Barnes. I'll talk to Tess"

Robyn nodded and smiled weakly up at Charlie.

"Thanks Charlie" She sniffed "You're the best"

Charlie squeezed her shoulder and watched thoughtfully as Lofty and Robyn headed off in different directions, Robyn's soggy trainers squelching loudly down the corridor.

The atmosphere around the department had been strained lately, and that was putting it mildly. He'd sat by and watched as Tess had slowly alienated her nurses with her attitude, and only through well practiced diplomacy, managed to stop Rita walking out of the ED altogether the previous week. He'd stayed out of it as much as he could, but now maybe it was time to step in and try and talk some sense into Tess. He was sure it was only her allegiance with new clinical lead Connie, that was causing her to act this way; that and, he suspected, a little of the broken heart syndrome.

The sound of a pair of heels clicking sharply down the corridor, pulled him quickly back from his thoughts, and he stood up straight, preparing himself for the tongue lashing that he was sure was coming his way.

"What's happened?!"

Charlie almost found himself smiling at the thick, Liverpudlian accent that greeted his ears.

"Robyn looks like she's about to burst into tears!"

Zoe glanced over her shoulder at the retreating form of Robyn as she disappeared into the staff room, and looked back at Charlie quizzically.

"Tess" Charlie replied succinctly.

Zoe looked down at her notes, and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

"What's she said now?"

"She gave Robyn a dressing down that wasn't entirely called for" Charlie told her. "I'm going to try and talk some sense into her before this place erupts into a full scale mutiny!"

Zoe stopped writing and glanced up at him

"What are you going to say?"

Charlie shrugged and flashed her a wry smile

"I have no idea" he admitted " I hadn't thought that far ahead!"

"Good luck, I tried having a word last week when she threatened to sack Rita, but she wasn't having any of it"

Zoe frowned and shook her head

"I don't know what's got into her. She's not the Tess we all know"

"I've got a fair idea" Charlie replied and Zoe nodded in agreement.

"I just wish she'd talk to me. Let me help"

Zoe sighed and finished signing off her notes. She groaned as she felt her mobile vibrate urgently in her pocket. "Connie" she confirmed as she stared at the display. " I was meant to be upstairs for a meeting ten minutes ago!"

She quickly gathered up her paperwork and gave Charlie a wink

"Let me know how it goes, yeah?"

Charlie watched as she swept off down the corridor, and with some trepidation, turned his attentions back to the job in hand.

Tess sat slumped at her desk, her head buried in her hands. She felt the dampness of her tear stained cheeks against her palms, and wondered at what point she'd lost control of her life. She thought by coming back she'd have new direction, something to work towards under Connie's new regime, but all she'd managed to do was upset her staff, and turn her friends against her.

Hearing the office door open, she quickly wiped her cheeks and clicked on the mouse to open up her emails.

"Tess-"

She looked up and forced a smile as Charlie edged apprehensively through the small gap in the door.

"Charlie" she acknowledged, her eyes flicking back to her emails.

She suddenly became acutely aware of Charlie's presence, as though any noise he made was amplified by a hundred decibels. He silently rounded her desk and slipped into the seat behind his own, sorting noisily through a stack of paperwork that had been sat on his desk since the previous day. Tess took a deep breath and tried to ignore him as he shifted awkwardly in the chair, opening and closing two of his desk drawers before reaching for the third. Tess patience finally ran out when Charlie began to rummage loudly through his bottom drawer, cursing under his breath as he obviously was struggling to find whatever it was he was searching for. He sent pencils and staplers crashing against the wood, until Tess had finally had enough

"Ok Charlie, out with it!" She snapped, wincing as the third drawer slammed shut.

Charlie hesitated, his hand wrapped tightly round a stapler.

"Out with what?" He asked, innocently.

"Whatever it is you've got to say" Tess replied, pushing her mouse away and folding her arms across the desk.

Charlie shook his head as he began to staple sheets of paper together, slowly and purposefully.

"I have nothing to say"

Charlie kept his gaze firmly fixed on the sheets of paper as he slammed his hand down onto the stapler. It gave a satisfying click.

"Really? Nothing? That's unlike you" Tess replied sarcastically, raising her eyebrows.

Charlie threw down the stapler and glared at Tess

"Okay, that's enough! ?" Charlie snapped, fighting to keep his voice in control. Tess hesitated and stared at him, shocked by his outburst

"You reduced Robyn to tears. It was Rita last week. What is the matter with you?!"

Tess cleared her throat and looked back at her computer screen, averting her eyes from Charlie's, cold, hard glare

"Robyn was late for the third time this week" Tess replied, "it's unacceptable"

"Did it ever occur to you there might be a good reason?. The Tess I used to know would certainly have made it her business to find out"

"Maybe. But theyve got away with too much for far too long, Charlie " . "It's about time they were brought back into line"

"They're a good team, Tess"

Tess glanced up at Charlie and felt her heart sink. She felt awful.

"I know"

An awkward silence filled the room, as Charlie debated whether or not to walk through this particular minefield. He had no doubt of the reason behind Tess' increasingly deteriorating mood, and he was sure the contents of the Email from Guy Self that had pinged up in his inbox a few days earlier, would only serve to plunge Tess into an even fouler mood than she already was.

Zoe relinquished any responsibility towards informing the Clinical Nurse Manager of its contents when she'd received the same email, and when Charlie calmly insinuated it would sound better coming from her best friend, Zoe had refused, saying being her friend wasn't high on Tess' list of priorities, or part of her 'game plan'. So, once again, the buck had stopped with Charlie.

He glanced at Tess and sighed deeply as he watched her nimble fingers dance across the keyboard.

"Is this about Fletch?"

Tess hesitated for a moment, before resuming her email, her eyes never leaving the screen.

"Of course not." She snapped, her fingers typing furiously. " that's in the past."

Charlie nodded.

"So you keep saying"

Tess stopped typing and folded her arms across the desk.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, glaring at Charlie.

"Have you spoken to him?"

"Of course I haven't. And I don't intend to "

Charlie shrugged his shoulder

"Maybe you should" he replied, lowering his eyes to the paperwork in front of him. " It might help"

"Help with what?" Tess huffed, shaking her head in irritation. She wasn't in the mood for Charlie's cryptic riddles. " You sound like my therapist "

" Your what?" Charlie's eyebrows shot up, wondering if he'd heard her correctly.

"My therap-" Tess paused and glanced up at her friend " Charlie, what's going on?"

Charlie looked up and caught Tess' gaze

"Tess, I know how you feel about him. Speak to him"

Tess shook her head firmly and sprung out of her seat

"No" she replied, gathering up her paperwork " I'm moving on. Something I should have done a long time ago"

Charlie watched as she strode towards the door and pulled it open.

"He's back"

The words has tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop them, and Tess halted in the doorway, frozen to the spot.

"Who's Back?" Tess asked quietly. But she already knew the answer.

"Fletch. He's back at Holby"


	3. A friend in need

"Tess? Are you alright?"

Charlie's white, wispy eyebrows knitted into a frown as he got no response from Tess, who remained paralysed at the door, her fingers frozen round the handle. She stared sightlessly at the door that blocked her path, and slowly he got up from his seat and made his way over to where she stood, and wondered if he'd made the right decision in telling Tess the news that he and Zoe had fought so hard to conceal from her.

"Tess?"

He reached out to touch her, to offer some sort of comfort, but quickly retracted his hand, thinking better of it. Instead, he shuffled awkwardly on the spot, not quite sure what to say next.

Tess barely registered Charlie's worried voice, as memories of the train crash and Fletch carrying her gallantly through the flames flooded her mind, She gripped the door handle tighter until her knuckles were white,as she felt her knees begin to give way beneath her. It took every ounce of strength she still possessed to stop herself from crumpling to the floor.

She took a few long, deep breaths and finally the room stopped spinning long enough for her to formulate a sentence.

"Where?" She asked, a little firmer than she had intended. "Where is he working?"

Charlie cleared his throat and clamped his arms against his side, as he suddenly realised that his comfort was the last thing Tess wanted right now.

"I don't really know. Ortho...pae...dics, I think"

Charlie mumbled the last few words, hoping Tess wasn't really listening. As far as he was concerned, it was damage limitation and the less she knew, the better. So what were a few little white lies?

Gathering her composure, Tess tore her gaze away from the rippled, wooden door and looked up at Charlie.

"So that's what you and Zoe have been whispering about for the last few days? "

Charlie gave a small nod in confirmation.

"I'm sorry, Tess"

"What are you sorry for?" Tess asked, forcing a smile " it's none of my business where he works, nor should it be anyone else's"

Charlie marvelled at Tess' stoicism, the way the impassive mask that fell across her features betrayed her true feelings.

"Now if you'll excuse me I have patients to see"

Tess manoeuvred her small frame between Charlie and the small gap in the door, and hurried off towards cubicles, desperate to put as much distance between her and Charlie as possible. Tess swore as she stumbled, sending her paperwork scattering across the floor. She dropped to her knees, hot tears blurring her vision as she snatched up her paperwork, cursing herself for making such a scene in the middle of the ED in front of her colleagues. She was acutely aware of her audience, the hushed whispers, the pitying glances she was sure were being thrown her way, and wished more than anything that the ground would open swallow her up.

She was so consumed with retrieving her aberrant paperwork, she hardly noticed the black and white louboutin that suddenly appeared in her field of vision. It was only when it was joined by its mate she realised, mortifyingly, she has been brought to her knees, literally in front of the whole ED.

"Let me help " Zoe said softly as she knelt in front of Tess, her grey pencil dress hugging her curvaceous thighs as she began to gather up the rest of the paperwork.

"There's no need"

Tess seized the last, errant sheet of paper and stowed it safely away in a light blue folder.

Zoe reached out and grabbed her hand, forcing her to stop and look at her.

"That's an order, Sister Bateman"

" Sorry, I haven't got anything stronger" Zoe grinned as she handed Tess a freshly made cup of coffee. Tess gratefully wrapped her hands around the piping hot mug, the heat radiating to the ends of her fingers. She glanced briefly at the mug and wondered fleeting when in earth Zoe had acquired a baby pink mug and the words 'Sexy Babe' emblazoned round the side.

" An early birthday present"

Zoe nodded towards the mug as she plopped down into her chair, obviously feeling that some sort of explanation was required.

"My brother thinks he's a bit of a comedian!"

Tess nodded as she took a sip, and made a mental note to ask Zoe when she'd started seeing someone.

They hadn't talked much lately, more through her own stubborn, misguided volition than Zoe's. They'd been sat in Zoe's office for the past fifteen minutes, mainly skirting round the issue that had forced Tess to find solace in the place she least wanted to be.

Tess grimaced as the rancid liquid stung the back of her throat and wrinkled her nose as she stared down at the congealed, muddy coloured liquid that professed to be coffee.

"Now you know why I only drink Latte's" Zoe grinned, as Tess placed the mug carefully on the edge of Zoe's desk. Zoe's smile faded as she watched Tess shift awkwardly on the sofa, her palms pressed together as she looked around the room, and wondered at what point they'd drifted so far apart. Zoe opened her mouth to speak, to offer some sort of comfort but suddenly found herself for the first time since medical school, unable to articulate. She had no idea where to even begin and that frightened her the most. She searched for the right words, anything, to end this unbearable, uncomfortable silence that loomed over them like the angry, black clouds that that had claimed the skies outside.

"Tess-"

"I'm fine, Zoe. " Tess replied, a little too quickly for her liking, preempting what the Consultant was about to say next "you really don't need to worry"

"I thought you'd say that" Zoe smiled.

Tess caught Zoe's gaze and found herself smiling back, something she hadn't done much of lately. Maybe, just maybe the clouds were beginning to dissipate.

"Charlie told you about Fletch?"

Tess nodded

"How do you feel about it?"

"I don't feel anything" Tess replied dully, attempting to force a smile " it's really none of my business"

"And you're a bad liar" Zoe commented with a hint of amusement

"Look, I'm hardly likely to run into him in Orthopaedics. They're on the fifteenth floor for heavens sake-"

Tess hesitated, strangely concerned at the confusion that had set across Zoe's tanned features

" Charlie said that" Zoe said flatly, attempting to disguise the frown that furrowed across her brow.

"Yes, and I'm glad he did."

Zoe took a deep breath in and swung round in her chair to face her monitor , staring blankly at the NHS screensaver that bounced enthusiastically round the screen.

" Zoe I appreciate your concern" Tess continued "But-"

"Is that why you're taking it out on the staff?"

Zoe looked up and glared at Tess, her accusation hanging in the air between them

"First Rita, now Robyn. That's not you, Tess. I know you"

Tess' eyes widened in anger at Zoe's comment, and she fought to contain the urge to shout and scream at the one person who truly understood everything she'd been through.

Zoe felt her heart sink as she watched Tess' expression darken.

"You don't know me" Tess shot back indignantly.

"Tess, it's not a crime to fall in love!" Zoe exclaimed , the volume her voice beginning to rise "God knows we've all fallen for the wrong person at one time or another, just look at my track record"

"Depends which way you look at it" Tess commented under her breath, refusing to look at Zoe

"I see" Zoe nodded, finally losing her patience

"The indomitable Tess Bateman, made of nothing but moral fibre. Well I hate to break the bad news Tess, you're just as fallible as the rest of us!"

Zoe tore her gaze away from a shocked Tess and looked down at the paperwork piled untidily on her desk. She flicked through the two pages, exhaling deeply to regain control of her emotions.

"How dare you!-"

Zoe's eyes snapped back to Tess as she stood with conviction, her anger at Zoe's outburst evident.

"You know what Tess, I do dare!" Zoe shot back, slamming her hands down on the desk and narrowly avoiding Tess' abandoned coffee

"Because if I don't, no one else will. What happened, happened. You can't change it, no matter how much you want to. Taking it out on everyone else isn't the answer! I don't know, maybe you're just so blinded by your own self pity-"

"Self pity! I don't have to stand here and listen to this!"

Tess's turned on her heel and stormed towards the door.

"Tess, please!" Zoe pleaded as Tess yanked open the door. "If you want my advice, which you probably don't, acting this way isn't the answer! If you miss him that much, call him"

Zoe watched as Tess bowed her head, sadly.

"If I know Fletch, he misses you just as much as you miss him"

Tess fought back the tears and turned to look at Zoe.

"Your right" Tess replied "I don't want your advice. Thanks for the coffee"

Tess strode out of the office and slammed the door behind her.

Zoe groaned in frustration and thumped her forehead against the desk. She couldn't believe Tess was being so stubborn and refusing to listen to anyone. She knocked her forehead lightly against the desk a few more times for effect, cursing herself for the way she'd handled things. The time she spent breaking bad news to loved ones and dealing with difficult situations was significant, yet she couldn't even find the words to comfort her best friend when she needed it most. Tess would probably hate her forever.

Her forehead came to rest on the refreshingly cold surface of her desk and she closed her eyes, enjoying the few stolen moments of peace before she faced the madness on the other side of the door.

"Is this a bad time?"

Zoe's head snapped up, surprised she hadn't even heard the door open. She smiled slightly at her visitor who lounged against the doorframe, his arms folded across his chest.

"You have a knack for stating the obvious " Zoe told Max as he sauntered in with a grin and closed the door behind him. "It's Tess "

Max perched on the edge of the desk as Zoe turned her attention, rather reluctantly, back to her neglected paperwork,

"Is the wicked witch of the East giving you a hard time?" He asked, ducking as Zoe swatted him playfully with a folder

"Don't say that" she scolded "I just can't seem to say or do anything right"

Max shrugged

"Maybe you should stop trying"

Zoe shook her head as she gathered up a stack of paperwork and placed it neatly in the open desk drawer

"It's not as easy as that, Max" she replied, smiling to herself at Max's naivety. For some unfathomable reason, she found it endearingly sweet.

"Yes it is" he replied simply.

Max slid off the desk he was using as a perch and moved stealthily behind Zoe, placing his hands on the arms of the chair. Every hair on Zoe's neck stood on end as she felt his gentle breath against her skin, and as he bent down and placed a soft kiss at the nape of her neck, Zoe gave an involuntary shudder of pleasure.

"It's obvious Tess doesn't want to listen" he whispered into her ear, grinning to himself as Zoe attempted to ignore the desire that was beginning to rise through her body.

"Maybe you should concentrate on other things"

Zoe turned to face Max, stopping him in his tracks as he leaned in to kiss her neck again.

"What did you have in mind?" Zoe asked

"Oh I can think of a few things" he grinned.

Returning his smile, Zoe grabbed the collar of his maroon porters shirt and pulled him into a soft kiss, her argument with Tess quickly forgotten.


	4. Gone, but not forgotten

Chapter Four. (Flashbacks are shown in bold)

Tess tapped her biro thoughtfully on the counter as she stared at the BBC weather report on the new flat screen TV that had been installed in the department. The argument with Zoe was still weighing heavily on her mind, and although she'd found herself several times standing outside Zoe's office, something had stopped her from actually going in and instead busied herself with the monotonous tasks she'd been putting off for months.

At least the plight of the unfortunate , dishevelled Weatherman, reporting live from somewhere very, very wet, was enough to occupy her thoughts. He grappled in vain to keep control of the umbrella he held in one hand, and although the sound was on mute, he fought to be heard over the ferocious winds that currently battered the Welsh Coast. As the force of the gales increased minute by minute, Tess reached over and grabbed the remote control, her finger pressing down on the volume button.

_"Winds gusting up to eighty miles per hour are expected to hit as Hurricane Bertha continues to sweep across Bristol and Wales"_

Louise and Noel were drawn to the screen, standing either side of Tess as they watched the report unfolding.

_"And it comes after torrential downpours covered much of the country overnight and through Sunday" _

_The Weatherman glanced behind him and raised his voice over the torrent of rain that suddenly unleashed itself_

_"Heavy rain has..."_ He grasped his flapping tie as he ducked to avoid part of a tree that whistled past, inches from his head.

He gulped and turned back to the camera

_"...Moved North eastwards, but rain should still be expected" _

"The end of the world" Noel mused, rubbing his chin as his eyes remained fixed on the screen "I told you it would happen"

"Get real" Louise replied, throwing him the bitchiest look she could muster. "Wasn't that meant to be an asteroid, not a bit of wind?"

"You've never lived with Big Mac!"

Tess somehow managed to smother the the laugh that threatened to escape, and suddenly imagined Fletch, stood by admin with his boyish smile, laughing at Louise and Noel's banter like he used to.

Zoe passing through reception caught her eye, and as their gaze met, Tess found herself averting her eyes back towards the TV screen, currently advertising a new series of a reality hospital tv series.

Zoe rolled her eyes and stopped at the other end of admin, slapping her files emphatically on the counter.

"How's it going?"

Zoe glanced up and smiled at Charlie as she flicked through her patient files, scribbling her signature almost robotically. They both glanced briefly at Tess

"Chilly. Very chilly. You know what?" Zoe said dreamily, allowing her hands to fall on top of her notes

"Sometimes, I can't help but think there's more to life than this"

"This?" Charlie raised an eyebrow as Zoe swung round with her arm outstretched encompassing the whole of the ED. Holby regular Frank, clattered to the floor in a drunken stupor, and as Rita hauled him up of he floor, he broke into an inebriated rendition of New York, New York before promptly vomiting all over Lofty's brand new trainers.

"This" She repeated, and as Lofty stared down at his ruined trainers with a grimace, Charlie realised exactly what she meant.

"But we wouldn't have it any other way"

Charlie and Zoe exchanged a knowing smile, the moment broken only by the sound of Connie's dulcet tones from the other end of the corridor.

"Ok everybody!"

Tess glanced up, momentarily distracted from her thoughts and still tuned in to Louise and Noel's argument over, in their opinion, the imminent apocalypse that was heading Holbys way.

Connie strode past admin with a confident poise, throwing her curls notchalantly over one shoulder

"We've got a trauma on the way in. Twenty One year old female, hit by a falling tree! Ethan, Charlie! You're with me!"

Connie hesitated as she passed Lofty and Rita, still attempting to guide Frank back to his bed.

"Come on Frank!" Rita exclaimed, grabbing him under the arm as he collapsed for the fifth time "nearly there!"

"My God!" Connie exclaimed, looking at Tess and wrinkling her nose "What _is_ that smell?"

...

"You've got to be joking!" Jeff exclaimed, as the paramedic slid out of the ambulance with a splash and found his feet immersed under several inches of water. He stood with his hand on his hips, surveying the flooded ambulance bay with a shake of his head.

"What's the matter, Jeffrey? Forgot your rubber ring!" Tamzin called as she waded round from the passenger side to the back of the ambulance.

"Very funny" Jeff grumbled as they met at the back doors. "I'll have you know I'm a very good swimmer. Just ask Ash if you don't believe me"

Jeff puffed out his chest proudly as a giggle escaped Tamzins lips

"What? In the ten metre doggy paddle?"

They both grinned before Jeff noticed a sudden rush of water by his ankles.

"Eh! Hang about!" He exclaimed as he turned round to see another ambulance career into the ambulance bay with its sirens blaring. He waved his arms animatedly above his head, attempting to catch the attention of the Paramedic sat in the drivers seat. The driver slammed on his brakes, stopping no more than a few feet from where Jeff was standing.

"Bloody Hell" he muttered, directing the ambulance into a space. He quickly rejoined Tamzin at the back of the ambulance and pulled open the doors.

A young woman sat upright on the trolley, clutching her grey leather handbag against her chest with the one arm she had free and the other held a blood soaked bandage over a particularly nasty gash underneath her chin. Her mud caked blonde hair was soaked, leaving large wet patches on her filthy Superdry hoodie that was no longer the deep shade of red that it was obviously meant to be. It was messy and tangled with bit of twigs and leaves, and several small, angry scratches Criss crossed across her left cheek.

"Alright Princess!" Jeff beamed, as he and Tamzin pulled the trolley out of the ambulance "I hope you've got your wellies!"

The woman remained silent, as Jeff and Tamzin fought their way through the entrance doors, her eyes darting from side to side at all he unfamiliar faces that suddenly crowded round her trolley.

"This is Abbie Lewis, Twenty One , hit by a falling tree" Jeff told Connie "Sats ninety eight, GCS fifteen, no loss of consciousness. She's been given ten of morphine, query fractured right tibia"

"Thanks Jeff. " Connie said as she took Abbie's notes. " Hi, Abbie my names Doctor Beauchamp and this is Doctor Hardy-"

"Jeff!" Abbie exclaimed, fighting to sit upright.

"You'll be fine, lovely" Jeff said soothingly, instantly calming the young woman. "Dr Beauchamp will look after ya, okay?"

Abbie nodded, slowly resting back against the pillows

"You know her?" Connie whispered

"Yeah, me and Dix have been called out to her a few times. She's a good kid" Jeff replied as his radio crackled to life.

"3006 from control"

Tamzin pulled her radio from her belt and spoke into the receiver

"3006 go ahead"

"Gotta go" Jeff told Abbie as he made his way to the doors. "You be good for the nice doctor alright. Just to warn you, she bites!"

A small smile tugged at Connie's lips as Jeff gave Abbie a wink before backing through the doors of Resus and jogging down the corridor after Tamzin.

Connie reached out to lift the blanket and suddenly flinched as Abbie yanked it from her grasp

"No!" She exclaimed, piercing blue eyes widening like saucers "Who are you? I don't know you! Where's Dr Hanna

Connie held her hands up in an effort to calm Abbie, who sat bolt upright on the bed, her head whipping from side to side as she desperately looked for an escape.

"It's fine" Connie told her, taking a faltering step towards the bed "I just want to have a look at your leg, that's all"

"I can't stay here!" Abbie shouted throwing back the sheet and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

"Abbie ! You really should get back on the bed!" Ethan urged, jumping from side to side as he waited for the opportune moment to grab her arms and manoeuvre her back onto the bed.

"Where's Tess? I want to see Tess! "

Before anyone could stop her, Abbie had leapt from the bed with an ear splitting scream , grabbing a fistful of Ethan's scrubs as her injured leg gave way beneath her. Connie and Charlie dived forward to assist Ethan, who'd been dragged to the floor in the melee.

"Abbie do you know where you are?" Charlie asked as Ethan gingerly picked himself up of the floor

"Are you okay?" Connie mouthed as Ethan straightened his scrubs. He bent down and retrieved his glasses from under the bed, and carefully adjusted them on the bridge of his nose.

"I'm fine" he nodded

"Will someone get Tess in here now! "Connie flung over her shoulder as she settled Abbie back onto the bed

Abbie looked round Resus, before looking back at Connie, her eyes narrowing on the Clinical Lead.

"Where's Fletch? I want to see Fletch!"

...

"Well. Where is he?"

Abbie looked first at Ethan, then at Connie as Charlie silently finished the saline drip.

Ethan and Connie exchanged glances

"I'm afraid Nurse Fletcher isn't available-" Connie began, removing her stethoscope from around her neck.

Abbie glared at Connie as she moved the diaphragm across her chest, listening intently for any irregularity in her breathing. Connie pulled the stethoscope from her ears and swung it back round her neck

"Ok, sit up for me please" Connie said, ignoring the look of displeasure on Abbie's face as she helped her to sit upright

"Ok, Charlie I want Us and E's FBCs and arrange an X-Ray on that leg" Connie ordered, as she rounded the bed. Charlie nodded and headed out of Resus, squeezing through the doors past Tess who was heading in the opposite direction

"You needed me?" Tess asked, snapping on a pair of latex gloves as she approached the two doctors.

"Tess!" Abbie exclaimed, heaving a sigh of relief at the sight of a familiar face

"Abbie!"

Connie looked at Tess questioningly

"Zoe, Fletch and I first treated her last year" Tess explained, smiling warmly at Abbie who had noticeably calmed since Tess' arrival. "She's Bi-Polar and a friend of Samuel's"

"Samuel?"

"My son" clarified Tess "They met at a support group for Bi-Polar sufferers"

Tess turned and made her way over towards Abbie as Connie's eyes dropped to the floor

"I had no idea"

Tess hesitated and turned on her heel to face the clinical lead, pinning her with the famous Bateman glare.

"Why would you" Tess stated, with a small shake of her head, before turning back to Abbie.

Tess remembered as if it were yesterday when Abbie had first been admitted, screaming hysterically as Jeff and Dixie rushed her into the ED after an RTC. Abbie wouldn't let anyone near her, lashing out at everyone and anything until she'd been captivated by the beautiful green eyes of Fletch. She'd been totally in awe of him that day, the way he dealt with Abbie and gained her trust, telling her everything was going to be okay. Fletch had continued to support her through her treatment along with Tess and Zoe, and that was the exact moment she knew she'd fallen totally and exorably in love.

July 2013

"**What on earth is going on out there?" Tess asked with a frown, as she and Fletch stood by the entrance doors, listening to the raised voices on the other side that were getting louder as they approached. There was a yell followed quickly by an ear splitting scream. **

**"I have absolutely no idea" replied Fletch. They heard another shout, causing Fletch to take a step forward.**

**"That sounds like Jeff! "Fletch exclaimed, breaking into a jog towards the doors.**

**"Fletch!" **

**Fletch jumped backwards as Jeff and Dixie suddenly burst through the doors, attempting to restrain the hysterical female on the bed. Jeff ducked a flailing arm as Dixie clamped her other one to the side of the bed. **

**"Get off me!" She screamed, balling her fist and attempting to fling it in Dixie's direction.**

**"Fletch, mate! Give us a hand here will ya?"Jeff exclaimed, as he caught the girls arm midair and clamping it down to the other side of the bed. **

**"What have we got?" Zoe asked, as she strode along beside trolley.**

**"This is Abbie Lewis, twenty years old, involved in an RTC" Jeff shouted, raising his voice over the torrent of abuse hurled towards the medics. **

**"You need to calm down so we can treat you!" Zoe urged, glancing up at Tess. **

**"Here, let me have a go" Fletch said, as he moved in front of Zoe. He leaned over, and looked down into Abbie's blue eyes. **

**"Hi Lovely, My names Fletch and this is Tess" he smiled, nodding towards his lover. Abbie stilled as she looked up at him, flinching slightly as the team busied themselves around her. Fletch glanced up at Tess, and as their gaze locked, she gave a slight nod, encouraging him to continue.**

**"Now, I need to you to keep really still, so the nice Doctor Hanna here can take a look at ya, alright? It's gonna be fine, trust me" **

**Abbie nodded slowly**

**"Will you stay?" Abbie asked, extending out her arm so Tess could draw some blood.**

**"Yeah, Course" Fletch grinned, his gaze still locked with Abbie's "I'll be right here. Will you let Dr Hanna help you?" **

**Abbie nodded again, a little firmer this time.**

**"Yeah, I guess" **

**"Good girl" winked Fletch. **

**He looked up and caught Tess' eye and they exchanged a smile. **

**"Right" Zoe said, with a heavy sigh "let's have a look at that arm" **

**...**

**"Tess, please let me go with you"**

**Fletch rolled his eyes as he followed the Tess through her kitchen as she grabbed her purse off the hall table and jammed it into her already bulging handbag. **

**"Tess, will you stop a minute!"**

**Fletch took hold of her arm to stop her as she reached the front door.**

**"Fletch- There's no need, I'll be fine" Tess smiled, her heart warming at his concern. "Samuel will be there. Besides, you've got to be at work in a few hours. I'm sure you don't want to spend two hours at a BiPolar meeting on your morning off!" **

**She squeezed his shoulder with a faint smile, and opened the front door.**

**Fletch sighed, and using his height to an advantage, reached over Tess' head and pushed the door closed.**

**"Fletch-" Tess groaned "I'm already late!"**

**Fletch wrapped his hand lightly round her wrist and drew her closer.**

**"I've taken the day off" he told her "I'm all yours"**

**"Why would you do that?" Tess asked, a little nervously, looking up into his eyes.**

**"You know why"**

**Tess held his gaze and took a deep breath as he took a step towards her, wondering how on earth he managed to have an effect on her so profound, that no other man had ever had in her life. Not even Mike. The fact was, he wasn't hers- he was married to Natalie and the guilt gnawed at her every, single moment she spent with him, the nights she lay next to him in bed. **

**He'd always been there for her and today was no exception. He knew how much this meant to her, and here he was, by her side with his unwavering support.**

**"Anyway , I promised Abbie I'd go, and it's important to you, which makes it important to me"**

**Fletch reached out and softly brushed Tess' cheek with the pad of his thumb.**

**"I want to be with you, Tess. Let's make the most of it. We've got all day together" he said with a wink.**

**Tess couldn't help but smile at his cheeky grin.**

**"You can come on one condition" **

**"What's that?" He asked, leaning in and closing the gap between them. He stopped abruptly as Tess held up her car keys between her fingers, preventing him from reaching in for a kiss.**

**"You drive"**

**"Oh I see, pulling rank on me, are ya?" Fletch grinned, as he snatched the car keys from her grasp and shoved them into the back pocket of his jeans.**

**Suddenly she felt Fletch's warm hands framing her face as his lips covered her own in a kiss that almost took her breath away. She closed her eyes as he deepened the kiss, and wrapped her hand round the back of his neck. A small sigh escaped his lips as Tess stroked his hair, and reluctantly, he pulled away, his hands still resting on her cheeks.**

**"We'd better get going" Fletch said softly, "If we carry on like this, we'll never get there!" **

**Tess giggled and playfully pushed him away, ducking under his arms and opening the front door.**

**"Well, come on then!" **

**Fletch grinned and threw his arm loosely around her shoulders as they walked out of the house. He pulled her into a quick hug as she giggled at one of his rubbish jokes and rounded the car to the drivers side.**

**"You know what, Tess?" He mused, resting his arms on the roof of Tess' Golf "I could get used to this" **

**"What?" Tess asked from the passenger side**

**"This. Us"**

**They stood in silence for a moment, smiling at each other before Fletch pulled open the door and jumped in.**

**Tess' paused for a moment and watched Fletch, as he started the engine and began to fiddle with the radio channels. She sighed deeply and rolled her eyes skywards as she felt the guilt begin to resurface. She was in too deep, she knew that, but more worryingly she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop it, even if she wanted to. Steeling her resolve she pulled open the door and climbed in beside Fletch, staring straight ahead as Fletch backed the car off the drive and accelerated down the road.**

**A gentle hum of conversation greeted their ears, as Tess, Fletch and Abbie entered the room where the presentation was taking place. They were met at the door door by a young, blonde woman, a large, round Bi Polar Association badge pinned in the right hand corner of her little pink cardigan. She stood behind a table stacked with a myriad of NHS information leaflets on the condition, and several glossy brochures were piled to one side, emblazoned with the BPA's logo on the front. She smiled a greeting, and handed each of them a leaflet, and one of the brochures to share, and gestured for them to find a seat. The room was adorned with banners and posters advertising the Bi Polar Association, and already, several hundred people were sat in rows in the middle of the room, browsing through the leaflets or talking excitedly about the upcoming presentation.**

**"I guess we sit anywhere" Fletch whispered in Tess' ear as they made their way along the rows. **

**"I had no idea it was going to be like this" Tess whispered back. Fletch grinned and began to make his way down the side of the room. They found three spare seats on the end of a row and Abbie slid into the one in front, and Tess and Fletch slid into the two unoccupied seats behind.**

**A line of chairs sat on the large stage that took up most of the front of the room, just behind the lectern that was perched at the front.**

**The room fell into a hushed silence as the presentation began, and suddenly Tess broke into a huge, face splitting grin as a young, dark skinned man appeared on stage, nodding his thanks towards the host. He stepped up to the front and placed his hands either side of the lectern before he addressed the audience.**

**Fletch leaned towards Tess as he listened intently to the speaker up on the stage**

**"I take it that's your Sam" Fletch whispered, fixing his gaze on Tess. **

**Tess kept her eyes on the stage, nodding proudly as Sam got into the full swing of his speech. Gone was the young, vulnerable, teenage healthcare assistant that worked at Holby all those years ago, and in its place was a handsome young man, who exuded confidence and self assurance. Tess couldn't help but wonder where those years had gone, and for the first time in a long time, she felt old. **

**"That's Sam" she replied, turning and meeting Fletch's gaze. He smiled at the proud tears that teased the corners of her eyes, and gently slipped his hand into hers. Tess felt a sudden rush of love as she held Fletch's gaze, and without thinking, she linked her fingers through his and gave his hand a tight squeeze, silently thanking him for just being there. Fletch gave her a wink and their heads turned back towards the stage, their joined hands in his lap, and before long, all thoughts of being old and letting life pass her by, disappeared as quickly as they'd arrived.**

**Tess stood on her tiptoes as she scanned the room for Sam. Abbie had disappeared off over the side of the room, talking animatedly to a group of girls her own age, and as her gaze settled on the group, she saw Sam appear by Abbie's side, smiling and chatting with the members of the group. He looked up and smiled widely as he caught sight of Tess waving at him from the other side of the room.**

**"Hi" Tess mouthed as Sam raised one finger, indicating he'd be over in a second. He said his goodbyes, and began to make slow progress across the room, shaking hands and making small talk with the various college professors and health care professionals that had stopped to congratulate him.**

**Fletch suddenly appeared by her side.**

**"Where have you been?" Tess asked **

**"The vol au vents are amazing!" Mumbled Fletch through a mouthful of food. "You really should try one"**

**"That's if you've left any for everyone else!" Tess said with a laugh**

**"Blimey!" Fletch said quietly, staring at the thick set, bald man who pushed past him with a plate full of sandwiches and vol au vents balancing precariously between his fingers. "And I thought I was bad!"**

**"Stop it! !" Tess snorted, swatting him on the arm with a rolled up brochure.**

**Fletch grabbed his arm and pulled a face, feigning injury**

**"What was that for?" Fletch pouted, rubbing his arm. **

**Tess ignored Fletchs sniggers as he took a bite of a tuna sandwich, and looked over the top of the crowd as she heard a familiar voice call her name.**

**"Mum!" **

**Sam Bateman manouvered himself through a small gap in the gathering of people and pulled Tess into a hug.**

**"You were wonderful!" She exclaimed, squeezing him tightly**

**"You'll squeeze all the breath out of me if you're not careful" Sam said, in his thick, welsh accent. Tess released him from the hug and looked her son up and down, brushing off a spec of dust from the shoulder of his jacket.**

**"You must be Fletch" Sam said, his eyes flicking to his mums companion. Sam suddenly found his outstretched hand in an iron grip.**

**"It's good to finally meet ya" Fletch grinned, shaking his hand**

**"I've heard a lot about you"**

**"All good I hope" he replied, glancing down at Tess.**

**"Yes, that's what worries me" **

**"Samuel!" Tess hissed as Fletch almost choked on the piece of sandwich he'd just swallowed. He coughed loudly and thumped his chest in an effort to regain his composure.**

**"Wrong hole" he croaked and sidled away to find some water.**

**"Mum, what the hell are you doing?" Sam asked, once Fletch had located the drinks table.**

**"I beg your pardon?" Tess asked indignantly. **

**"Mum, I'm not blind you know. Something's going on with you and him. He's married for gods sake and I know damn well it's not to you!" **

**"Samuel! Watch your language!" Tess whispered, looking round the room.**

**"Well?" He asked "is there?" **

**"I know what I'm doing-" **

**"You need to stop it, now. I don't want you to get hurt" **

**Tess wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.**

**"He's a good man, Samuel"**

**Sam sighed deeply and nodded.**

**"Do you love him?" **

**Tess remained silent, but the look in her eye told Sam all he needed to know.**

**"Well, he obviously makes you happy. You never looked at Dad the way you look at him" **

**Tess smiled as she stroked her sons cheek.**

**"Ah that's better" Fletch sighed, as he appeared beside them with two cups of water. He handed one to Tess and took a sip of his own.**

** "Everything alright?" He raised his eyebrows and looked from Tess to Sam.**

**"Everything's fine" Tess assured him, giving him a gentle pat on the arm.**

**"Fletch. If you've got a minute, there's a few people I'd like you to meet" Sam said, and as he caught Tess' eye, she realised he was doing this for her.**

**"Yeah, course"**

**He handed his cup to Tess and followed Sam over the other side of the room.**

**...**

**Tess rolled over in the darkness and looked at the bedside clock which read 12am. She'd been in bed almost 2 hours and still hadn't managed to fall asleep. She wrapped her arms around the pillow and hugged it against her cheek as she ran the days events over in her mind. **

**"Tess?" **

**Fletch propped himself up on his elbow and gently laid his hand on her bare arm.**

**"Are you alright?" **

**Tess looked round and covered his hand with her own.**

**"I'm fine" she replied, "I'm just thinking, that's all"**

**Fletch reached over and switched on the bedside lamp, bathing Tess' bedroom in a soft, warm glow. He squinted briefly, as his eyes adjusted to the light.**

**"About what?" **

**"It's nothing" **

**"Come on Tess, it's more than that. A problem shared 'n all that?" **

**Tess smiled, warmed by his concern. How could she possibly tell him, that this was the way she wanted to spend the rest of her life? He was a married man with three children and she knew deep down that this had no future. It couldn't. But she wasn't ready to give him up just yet.**

**"You're worried about Abbie, aren't you?" Fletch asked, placing a soft, gentle kiss on the top of her arm.**

**"Partly" Tess replied. She felt his lips against her neck and closed her eyes as she lost herself in his touch**

**"Fletch-"**

**Tess rolled over and met his eyes.**

**"Sam knows. About us" **

**"And what did he say?" Fletch asked moving closer towards Tess. **

**"He's worried that I'm going to get hurt" **

**"Tess, you knew the risks when we decided to get involved. You know id never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I care about you too much for that" **

**Tess gave a small nod and reached up to caress his cheek. He averted his gaze, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer to his next question.**

**"You don't want to stop, do you?" He asked, a little nervously.**

**"No!" Both Tess and Fletch were shocked by the vehemence of her reply, and and Fletch broke into a wide grin.**

**"Good, me neither" **

**He leant down and gave her a long, lingering kiss.**

**"Although I will miss all this when I'm on holiday" he chuckled, reaching in for another kiss. **

**"What did you say?" **

**Tess placed her palm on his bare chest and pushed him away**

**"I said when I'm on holiday" Fletch repeated with a frown. He was sure he'd mentioned it to Tess last week. Clearly he was mistaken.**

**Tess sat upright against the pillow and pulled the duvet up around her chest**

**"When were you going to tell me?" She asked, glaring at him "when you put your leave request in?" **

**"Come on Tess. Don't be like that" Fletch pleaded, rubbing the top of her arm**

**"This holidays been booked for months. Long before we got together" **

**"You should have told me" Tess told him, looking away**

**"Alright, I'm sorry, okay?" **

**"Fine." Tess snapped " I know the rules. They're your family after all-"**

**"Tess!-" Fletch grimaced. Tess ignored him and reached over to switch off the bedside light.**

**"Goodnight" she said into the darkness, and rolled over with her back to Fletch, dragging the duvet with her.**

**"Night" **

**Fletch flopped back down onto the bed, and tucked his arm under his head as he stared into the darkness. Tess lay motionless beside him, but from the sound of her breathing, he knew she wasn't asleep. He turned to face her back, wanting more than anything to wrap his arm around her and hold her close, like he had done the previous few nights. It was a feeling that he never wanted to let go. Tess made him feel as though he could do anything, be anything he wanted, and he'd never felt this way about anyone before. Not Colette, or Natalie. Colette was another minefield he didn't particularly want to walk through with Tess right now. He wasn't sure when exactly he'd fallen completely in love with this amazing, strong, independent woman, but he had. He couldn't deny it anymore. He forced back a tear as he thought what a horrible mess his relationships had become, and he would've given anything to spend every night falling asleep beside Tess and waking up next to her every morning. But he was married. To Natalie, and sooner or later he'd have to go home, as much as he wanted to be with the woman . With a heavy sigh, Fletch rolled over and closed his eyes, allowing sleep to finally claim him.**

...

"Tess, where's Fletch?" Abbie whispered, pulling Tess sharply out of her reverie. She peered at Connie over the top of Tess' head as she and Ethan stood huddled together, scanning through her notes. "And who is she?"

Abbie lifted her arms almost automatically as Tess worked around her, lifting her hoodie over her head to get her into some dry clothes. She kept her eyes firmly fixed on Connie as she continue to delegate various tasks and wrinkled her nose in disgust when she sent Ethan scuttling out of Resus.

"That's Dr Beauchamp" Tess explained, as she helped Amy into a gown. "She's the new Clinical Lead"

Abbie's eyes flicked to Tess as she began to gather up her equipment.

"Where's Fletch?"

Tess hesitated and sighed. She knew Abbie would find out sooner or later, and it was probably best coming from someone she trusted.

"He doesn't work here anymore, sweetheart" Tess said kindly as she slid onto the edge of the bed.

"I saw him last week, he didn't say anything" Abbie frowned, shaking her head.

Tess bowed her head sadly.

"It's all very complicated" Tess exclaimed, focussing in her hands as she pressed her palms together and dropped them into the lap of her scrubs. "He had to leave for personal reasons"

A crestfallen Abbie flopped back against the pillow and raised her eyes to the ceiling as she tried to process what Tess was telling her.

"Why didn't he say?" Abbie asked quietly, looking back at Tess.

Tess raised her head and shook it slightly, feeling a pang of guilt as she looked into Abbie's doleful eyes.

"I don't know, sweetheart" Tess replied in almost a whisper. She fought hard to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat before she spoke again.

"How is he?"

The words were out before she could stop them, and instantly regretted asking after him. Did she want to know how he was coping since he left? Was he missing her? Was he back with Natalie?

" He's fine" Abbie replied. She regarded Tess suspiciously for a moment before she folded her arms firmly across her chest.

"Tess, what's going on?"

Tess sprung up from the end of the bed and hurriedly gathered her equipment.

"I'll find Dr Hanna for you, if you'd like" Tess said with a forced smile "I won't be long"

Abbie watched as Tess pelted with through the swing doors without giving her a second glance and once she'd reached relative safety on the other side, Tess pressed her hand against her chest and leant back against the doors. She closed her eyes and took several long, deep breaths in to compose herself. So he was fine, was he? Fletch was clearly getting on with his life and moving on while she was stuck this rut she'd built for herself, and she only had herself to blame.

"Tess, are you Ok?"

Tess jumped at the sound of Ash's voice as the Consultant suddenly materialised, as if from thin air, beside her.

"Yes, thank you Ash, I'm fine" Tess said quickly, glancing nervously around her "you haven't seen Zoe anywhere, have you?"

"I think I saw her heading outside " Ash replied with a frown. "Tess, are you sure you're Ok?"

Tess forced a smile

"I'm fine. Really" she assured him, before heading off to find Zoe.


	5. Chapter 5 Choosing Sides

Chapter Five. (Flashbacks are in bold)

Tess didn't have to look far to find Zoe. She was where she always was at this time of day, standing outside the department having a cigarette. Only today was different. Instead of her usual immaculate appearance, the hunched figure of Zoe Hanna was stood outside in an oversized dark blue rain Mac, which could easily have been mistaken for a tent, with one arm wrapped around her for warmth. The hood was pulled so far over her face she was barely recognisable, only the black and white louboutins gave away her identity.

Tess pulled on her navy Holby Hoodie she'd retrieved from the staff room and plucked up the courage to brave the torrential rain outside. Zoe glanced sideways as Tess appeared beside her and took a puff of her cigarette.

"Look, Im not in the mood, Tess " Zoe said, exhaling a plume of smoke.

"Nice jacket" Tess commented, shoving her hands into her pockets.

"At least mines waterproof!" Zoe exclaimed, half smiling at Tess' waterlogged jumper. "I know why I'm here, but why are you standing in the pouring rain with a chain smoking alcoholic?"

Tess looked up at Zoe and for the first time, noticed how exhausted she looked. Dark patches encircled her eyes, and the usual sparkle they possessed, was noticeably absent. She looked pale and washed out, and Tess hated herself for being so wrapped up in her own melancholia, that she hadn't noticed what was happening to her friend.

"It's about a patient" Tess told her.

"A patient" Zoe repeated dully, half expecting some sort of apology from their earlier argument.

"Abbie Lewis has been admitted. She's asking for you and won't let Connie near her"

Zoe smiled ironically as she took another puff on her cigarette.

"So she sent you out to do her dirty work. Sounds about right"

"Come on Zoe, this is Abbie" Tess pleaded.

Zoe rolled her eyes and stubbed out the remainder of her cigarette in the bin.

"Fine" she huffed, holding her arm out in front of her. "Lead the way!"

...

Tess pulled back the curtain of Cubicle Three where Abbie now sat, in a fresh, clean set of clothes and her hair still damp from her shower. She'd allowed Charlie to tend to her scratches, but still hadn't let Connie or Ethan anywhere near her.

" Zoe!" Abbie exclaimed as she pushed herself up on the bed.

"Hi Kiddo" Zoe grinned, scanning quickly through her notes. "Tess tells me you've been quite the little busy bee!. What were you doing out on the river?"

"Learning to sail" Abbie replied, matter of factly.

Zoe glanced at Tess and raised her eyebrows. As far as they were aware, Abbie had no interest in boats at all.

"Abbie, are you taking your medication?" Tess asked

"Of course I am!" exclaimed Abbie defiantly.

"Listen, why don't I call Doctor West for you"

"No!" Abbie shouted "I don't want to speak to him. Can't you and Zoe help me?"

She looked first at Tess, then at Zoe.

"Please? You promised, remember?"

Zoe placed her hand on Tess' shoulder, and led her guided her to one side.

"Do you think she's stopped taking her medication?" Zoe whispered

"Could be. Might explain why she suddenly developed a passion for sailing! Do you want me to call Dr West?"

Zoe shook her head.

"No, we'll hold off for now. She clearly doesn't want him here. Why don't you see if there are any beds upstairs in AAU. That should give us time to find out what's going on"

Tess nodded in agreement.

"Shall I call Dr West?"

"No, I'll deal with it for now. She doesn't seem to pleased at thought of seeing him"

"I'll call Samuel. He sees her fairly regularly"

"Good idea"

They exchanged a smile, both aware how good it was to be able to talk to each other again.

"Listen Tess, about earlier-"

"Forget about it" Tess told her "things have been pretty hectic round here lately-"

"You've got that right" Zoe grinned. "Listen, do you fancy a drink after work? I-"

"I can't tonight, Zoe. Maybe another time" Tess said quickly, still as determined as ever to keep things on a purely professional level.

Zoe nodded as she tucked her hair behind her ear, and without another word, made her way back over to Abbie.

Tess was debating whether or not to follow, when a snort of laughter had her turning towards admin. Robyn, Lofty, Cal, Ethan and Lily were all huddled round the computer, barely able to contain their humour at whatever it was that was displayed on the screen. Tess looked up at the board and noticed three patients were about to breach, so turned on her heel and stalked towards the offenders.

"What's going on?"

Robyn, Lofty and Cal jumped at the sound of Tess' voice and closed the gap between them, blocking the screen from Tess' view.

"Nothing" Lofty lied fluently, pushing the dark mass of curls out of his eyes. "It's just about the Christmas party. Nothing interesting"

"I hardly think so" Tess replied.

" Its an email from Mrs Beauchamp" Louise informed Tess as she shoved Lofty out of the way of the screen. "She's introducing a non fraternisation policy in the department. She thinks work relationships detract from the ethics of the department"

Louise finished, looking pointedly at Tess

"Your joking!"

Max leaned over the desk and turned the screen to face him so he could read the contents of the email.

"Oi!" Louise exclaimed, attempting to swat him away. He mouthed the words silently and glanced over his shoulder at Zoe, who was still treating Abbie in cubicles.

"It's no joke, I can assure you" replied Ethan glumly, as he shot a furtive glance in Lily's direction.

" Yeah and we all know why she's done that!" Robyn whispered, earning herself a jab in the ribs from Lofty's elbow.

"Oww!" Robyn pouted, looking up at her flatmate.

Tess' cheeks flushed with embarrassment at Robyn's comment, and quickly decided the best form of defence was attack.

"When you are all quite finished mocking departmental protocol-" Tess scolded as she looked along the line of suspects. "Three patients are about to breach. We've got another twenty in triage waiting to be seen, and if you don't all get back to work in the next thirty seconds, Mrs Beauchamp's new policies will be the least of your concerns!"

Robyn glanced at Lofty and pulled a face

"Do you have anything to say, Staff Nurse Miller?"

Tess rested her hand on the counter and glared at Robyn who looked her straight in the eye.

"No. Nothing"

"Good. Then I suggest we get back to work!"

Max gave a mock salute and marched over to a wheelchair in the corner leaving Robyn in hysterics at her brothers antics. His smile quickly faded as Zoe walked past him without even an acknowledgment.

Tess hid away in her office for the next hour or so on the pretence she needed to finish an urgent report for the Departmental meeting first thing in the morning. The truth of the matter was she hadn't touched the report since she'd been there. She'd made a phone call to Sam, informing him of Abbie's admission and he'd promised he'd come as soon as he could. In actual fact, she couldn't bring herself to face her colleagues and staff in the wake of Connie's email and couldn't tolerate yet another argument with Charlie or Zoe. The stress was beginning to take its toll on Charlie, having to play mediator, and he definitely hadn't been himself lately. Tess knew the nurses were playing 'mummy' off against 'daddy' and she felt entirely to blame. Her thoughts wandered to Fletch and the news Charlie had broken to her that morning. Why had he come back? He promised he'd leave and let her go, so she could finally move on. He was right here in the hospital...all she had to do was get in the lift...she quickly banished such a ridiculous notion to the back of her mind.

Tess jumped at the knock on her door and quickly clicked on the mouse to open up her report.

"Come in" Tess called and Connie's tall, slender frame slid gracefully through the open door.

"Everything Ok?" Connie asked, closing the door behind her.

"Fine" Tess replied, forcing a smile "just finishing off the report for the meeting tomorrow"

"Good" Connie nodded. "I meant is everything Ok with you?"

Tess hesitated and looked up at the Clinical Lead, a slight frown creasing her brow

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean" Tess replied, shaking her head slightly.

"I know Charlie told you about Fletch coming back to Holby. If it's any consolation, I told Guy what a ridiculous decision it was-"

Tess bowed her head

"Yes well. Like you say it's Guys decision. And I have to live with that. Anyway-" Tess said, looking back up at Connie "it's hardly likely that were going to bump into each other"

"Just as long as you're Ok"

"I am. Thank you. If it's anyone you should be worrying about, it's Charlie" Tess told her.

"That's what I came to talk to you about actually" Connie said, gratefully changing the subject. "I'm concerned about his performance of late-"

"We're all under a great deal of stress at the moment "Tess began in defence of her long time friend. "We're short staffed and the fact we haven't filled Fletch's position puts a lot more strain on Charlie"

"Do you think we should readvertise?"

Tess nodded

"I think it would be wise"

"Fine" Connie agreed "I'll see to it. Like I said before, I'm here to make sure you get to do what you do best, and to make the ED works properly"

Tess smiled her thanks and Connie made to leave, but suddenly remembered the other issue she wanted to discuss with Tess.

"Abbie Lewis" Connie said, turning back to Tess "has she been moved upstairs?"

"Not yet. Were waiting for her to be admitted to AAU"

"Have you informed her physician?"

Tess glanced up at Connie and clasped her hands together on the desk

"Abbie seemed a little reluctant for us to inform Dr West" Tess told her " Zoe feels she's in a better position to take on Abbie's care"

"Does she now" Connie murmured, rolling her eyes. "I want you to call Dr West and appraise him of the situation-"

"But-" Tess began

"With all due to respect to Dr Hanna-" Connie said firmly, her eyes widening as she spoke "I don't believe she is in a position to make that call. I want you to inform Dr West immediately, and make sure she's transferred upstairs immediately. We need the beds"

Tess opened her mouth to protest, but knew it was no use. Connie had pulled rank and nothing she could say would change her mind.

Tess nodded in defeat.

"I'll see to it" she replied quietly.

"Good. You know I'm relying on you Tess to help me move this ED forward in the right direction."

Tess glanced up and caught Connie's gaze.

"Don't let me down"

Connie turned on her extremely high heels and swept out of the office.

Tess let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding, and dropped her head into her hands. What she was about to do would surely finish off what was left of her and Zoe's friendship, and wished more than anything she'd taken that job in Birmingham.

Tess lifted her head and reached out to pick up the phone. Placing the receiver to her ear, She reluctantly dialled Dr Wests number and listened patiently to the rings on the other end. She tapped her hand on the desk as she thought about the ramifications of what she was about to do. Despite everything, Zoe was a brilliant doctor and she trusted her judgement completely. She'd given up Clinical Lead to get back to doing what she did best. Treating patients.

"Good afternoon Dr Wests office, Layla speaking, how can I help?"

Tess froze as she listened to the voice on the other end.

"Hello?"

With the phone still clamped to her ear, Tess reached out and hung up the call. Whatever was going on between her and Zoe, she couldn't go behind her back. She owed it to her, professionally and personally.

Instead she rang the internal number for AAU, determined to get answers as to why it was taking so long to find Abbie a bed.

"AAU?" A female nurse answered the phone.

"Yes, hi this is Tess Bateman from the ED. One of my patients, Abbie Lewis has been waiting almost two hours for a bed, and I've called four times with a promise that someone will call me back. Can you tell me what's going on?"

Tess listened to the reply.

"Ok, if you don't know, can you find someone who does please?" Tess asked, rolling her eyes at the incompetence of this agency nurse on the other end.

"The Ward Manager?" Tess wrinkled her nose "Fine. I'll speak to the Ward Manager. Yes I'll hold"

Tess looked around her office as she waited for the Ward Manager to come to the phone, and her eyes came to rest on the framed photo of Sam that sat on her desk. She picked it up and smiled to herself at the grinning young boy in the photograph. Sam had always fought for his independence, no matter how hard she tried to keep hold of him. Keeping hold of Sam was the only way she knew how to stifle the fear of being alone. Saskia had her own life, she always had, and was fiercely independent like her mother. Sam fought so hard to step out of the shadow of his mum, and it ripped her heart when she realised she had to let him go to find his own way in life, even if it meant being alone.

Tess remembered the Christmas outside the pub. She'd never felt more alone than she did that night. Sam had his studies, and Saskia had just returned from travelling and would be spending Christmas with her boyfriend. Tess had spent almost the entire evening in Fletch's company, and it had caught her completely of guard how easy it was to be with him. Fletch had urged her to call her daughter that Christmas. He wouldn't let it rest, despite her protests, making her realise she shouldn't have to be alone. There were people that cared about her. She realised at that moment, how soul destroying it must've been for Fletch to walk away from her.

**"She said it wouldn't be Christmas without me. You've been a right little guardian angel tonight, haven't you?"**

**"Oh it's a wonderful life, Tess"**

"Oh, hello, yes" Tess blustered, the female voice on the other end, startling her. "Ok, when _will_ he be available?"

Tess listened to the response.

"Yes I appreciate he is an exceptionally busy man, but could you please get him to call me as soon as he is available, if it's not too much trouble" humoured Tess, with a roll of eyes. This guy, clearly, had never worked in the ED.

Tess hung up the phone and sighed. She couldn't put off facing the inevitable any longer, and ignoring the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she rose from her chair and made her way reluctantly, back to the shop floor.

The ED had quietened considerably in Tess' absence, and the incessant rain that had forced Holby into submission had begun to ease. Tess made her way over to Charlie, who sat quietly working away on the computer.

"Why are you sat out here?" She asked, as Charlie looked up "you've got a perfectly good one of those at your desk"

Charlie smiled wryly

"Wasn't sure I was welcome" he replied, half jokingly.

"Charlie look-" Tess began, feeling awful at taking her frustrations out on him.

"Tess, you don't have to say anything" Charlie replied, accepting her unspoken apology.

He squeezed her hand and exchanged a fond smile. Whatever happened, Charlie would always be around to watch her back.

They both looked up sharply as the staff room door slammed shut, and Rita stalked towards the exit, dressed in jeans and a top ready for home.

"I think we've got more immediate things to worry about" Charlie commented, pushing a pile of patient notes towards Tess "look at this"

Tess flicked through the notes, the lines on her forehead deepening with every one she read.

"There's virtually nothing on here!" Tess said, holding up the worst offending card. "What's she playing at?"

"Hungover" Charlie said succinctly. "The staff have noticed it, even the patients have noticed. I'm not sure I can keep it from Connie much longer"

Tess squeezed Charlie's arm and chased after Rita before she left the building.

"Rita!"

Rita stopped as she heard Tess' hurried footsteps and turned to face her boss.

"Everything alright, Tess? "Rita asked, forcing a smile.

"No, not really" Tess admitted, holding up the notes.

"Look, Tess" Rita huffed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "I've been here for fourteen hours. I'm tired. Right now I'm going home, and I will sort them out tomorrow"

"Ri-!" Before Tess could finish her sentence, Rita had gone.

"Bad time?"

Sam Bateman glanced over his shoulder at the retreating nurse and turned back to the warm smile of his Mum.

"No, it's nothing. Thanks for coming" Tess smiled, guiding Sam towards cubicles

Watching from the other side of the ED, Louise leaned in towards Noel, the corners of her mouth twitching into a smile.

"Looks like Tess has got herself another toyboy" she remarked, ignoring Noel's look of disgust.

"That's Sam. Tess' son" Charlie clarified, looking warningly at Louise.

"Son! I didn't think she was that old!. Is he single?"

Noel tutted and shook his head,

"You have no shame"

"How is she?" Sam asked, as he followed Tess to cubicles.

"She's fine, considering. She didn't want us to inform Dr West. Do you know why?" Tess asked.

"No, I just know they had some sort of falling out. I was hoping she'd tell me"

"Well, maybe she'd feel more comfortable talking to you" Tess smiled, as she pulled back the curtain. Zoe looked up and removed the stethoscope from her ears.

"You've got a visitor!" Tess smiled as Abbie's face lit up at the sight of Sam.

"Sam!" She exclaimed,

"Zoe, this is my son Samuel. Samuel this is Doctor Hanna" Tess introduced, laying her hand on Sams shoulder.

"Pleased to meet you" Zoe smiled at the handsome young man in front of her.

"You too, Dr Hanna"

"It's Zoe. Please"

Sam nodded with a grin, and turned his attention back to the patient.

"Hi Abs. What have you been doing to yourself, eh?" Sam replied, leaning over and giving her a hug.

Zoe and Tess took a step back as Sam perched on the end of the bed and fell into easy conversation with Abbie.

"They seem to get on well" Zoe observed, as Abbie giggled at something he said. "He looks like you, you know."

"Really?" Tess asked, raising an eyebrow "I always thought he looked like his father"

"Must be the eyes" Zoe said, running her finger in front of her own to emphasise her point.

"It's your lucky day!" Max grinned at Abbie, as he pushed the wheelchair round the curtain. "They've found a bed in AAU"

"I thought they didn't have any available?" Tess asked, confused.

"Apparently one has miraculously become available" he said with a shrug.

"Either someone upstairs is being generous or-" he turned to Tess with a glint in his eye "you've got an admirer. She's been bumped to the top of the list"

Zoe and Tess looked at each other, stunned.

"What did you say to them?" Zoe asked deciding she'd take some mental notes on Tess' approach for future reference.

"I-" Tess hesitated as she replayed the conversation over in her mind. As far as she remembered, she hadn't really said anything of significance.

"I don't know" Tess admitted, even more confused than before.

"Well, whatever it is, you should bottle it" Zoe told her with a wink. "You'd make a fortune"

They chuckled as Max helped Abbie into the wheelchair.

"Can I go up with her? " Sam asked as he gathered up Abbie's things.

"Of course" Tess replied. "Listen, Samuel-"

She rested her hand on Sam's arm

"Why don't you and Eva come over for dinner tonight?" Tess asked, referring to Sam's wife "It's been a while since I've seen you both"

Sam smiled and nodded.

"Yeah Ok. That'll be nice"

He covered Tess' hand with his own and squeezed it tightly.

Zoe smiled inwardly as Sam jogged to catch up with Max and Abbie. This might be just what Tess needed to pull herself out of the doldrums.

"So, Tess is really your mum?" Max whispered to Sam as he pushed Abbie towards the lift.

"Yes. Really" Sam replied, half smiling.

"Rather you than me. I've got to be honest, the woman scares the life out of me" Max grinned.

"Ah, she's a big softy really" Sam replied with a bark of laughter. "You just gotta know how to handle her, that's all!"

Max came to an abrupt halt at the bottom of the stairs, not far from the lift.

"Uh-oh" he murmured, hearing a familiar pair of heels clicking ominously down the corridor.

"Slight change of plan" he grinned, swinging the wheelchair round a corner.

"Ah! Max!"

Max froze and squeezed his eyes shut at the sound of Connie's voice

"Dr. Beauchamp!" He exclaimed, swinging round to face her.

"Who the hell called him?"

Connie wasn't alone. A middle aged, slightly greying man stood beside her, surveying them over the top of his square shaped glasses. His pinched features did absolutely nothing to endear him to the group in front of him, and he was in complete contrast to the immaculately dressed Clinical Lead, wearing beige trousers and a mustard yellow shirt which really didn't go together. Max glanced down at the ID badge that dangled from his neck, and instantly understood Abbie's evident hostility towards the stranger.

It was Dr West.

"I said who called him?!" Abbie demanded again, looking at Sam and Max, angrily.

"Don't look at me" Max shrugged

"Hello Abigail" Dr West said with a crooked smile. "Mrs Beauchamp here has been appraising me of your condition"

"Bully for her" Abbie replied flatly. "I'm getting out of here. Come on Sam"

Abbie grabbed hold of Sams arm for leverage, and eased herself out of the wheelchair.

"Abigail I really think it would be best if-"

"Don't tell me what you think is best!" Abbie spat, rounding on the Doctor. "I didn't even want you here!"

"Abbie, why don't you listen to what Doctor West has got to say" Connie urged, reaching out to take her hand.

Abbie stumbled as she yanked her arm away from Connie, and grabbed hold of Max and Sam for support.

"You stay away from me!" Abbie shouted, as Sam and Max slid their arms around her waist to hold her upright.

"Oooookay!" Interrupted Max, attempting to diffuse the situation "Why don't we all just go and get a nice cup of tea, eh?"

Sam nodded his agreement

"Abigail" said Dr West firmly as he left Connie's side.

Connie started forward to stop him, but he'd already positioned himself in front of Abbie, preventing her from leaving.

"After discussing your case with Dr Beauchamp here, she and Sister Bateman both feel that it would benefit you to be discharged into my care. And I have to say, I agree! "

Sam frowned at the mention of his mums name, confused as to why she never mentioned she'd already called Dr West.

"Tess?" Abbie breathed a tear rolling down her cheek. She felt her whole body begin to shake, partly in anger over the blatant betrayal from those closest to her.

"No!" She shouted "I refuse! Dr Hanna is my doctor!"

They were beginning to draw an audience. Those waiting in triage were watching the commotion with Interest, while Charlie, Ash and Robyn appeared from Resus to see what the racket was all about.

"Abbie, you really need to keep your voice down" Connie said warningly "This is a hospital!"

Tess and Zoe emerged from their respective offices, drawn by the disturbance outside.

They watched as Abbie yanked her arm away from Connie's grasp, and with Max and Sam's help, attempted to push last Dr West.

Tess and Zoe glanced over at each other, each with the same idea.

"What on earth is going on?" Zoe demanded "why are you upsetting my patient?"

"Dr. West" he said, thrusting his hand towards Zoe.

Zoe ignored it and glared at Connie.

"Dr Beauchamp?" Zoe asked, waiting for an explanation.

Max and Sam glanced at each other as the stand off continued.

"As of now, Dr West is taking over Abbie's care" Connie told her clinically

"On whose authority?" Zoe asked, bristling at Connie's complete lack of emotion. She couldn't understand why Tess of all people would go behind her back, and as far as she was concerned, it was clear where Tess' loyalties lie.

"Mine" Connie replied

Zoe felt the icy blast of Connie's glare, and knew this was an argument she couldn't, and wouldn't win. She took a deep breath, attempting to stifle the anger she felt bubbling to the surface.

"I'm glad we understand each other" Connie smiled, turning to Dr West. "Dr West?"

Max released his hand from the wheelchair, and allowed Dr West to take it from him.

"I'm not going!" Abbie screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. She broke away form Sam and Max and attempted to run, impervious to the pain. Dr Wests strong arms encircled her, and she fought desperately against his hold, kicking and screaming for all her life was worth. Sam and Max lunged forward to help, and somewhere in the scuffle, a flailing hand caught Max square in the jaw, sending him crashing to the floor.

"Right, that's enough!" Connie yelled "Call security!"

Louise snatched up the phone and furiously typed in the number.

Lofty and Ash raced over to assist, linking their arms under her armpits and pulling her away from Doctor West.

"How could you do this?!" Abbie screamed at Tess, sobbing as she pulled against Lofty and Ash. "I trusted you!"

Tess looked on in horror as two burly security men took over from Lofty and Ash and escorted her away, her mournful sobs echoing down the corridor.

"I trusted you!"

Max sat crossed legged on the floor as order was quickly restored, and dabbed his bloodied lip with the back of his hand. Sam looked round at Tess, who fought back her own tears.

"How could you Mum?" Sam asked, as Zoe helped Max up off the floor. Zoe reached up to examine the angry purple bruise beginning to form on his jaw.

"I'm fine" he whispered, taking hold of her hand and lowering it back to her side.

"I-I didn't-" Tess protested, looking at her son pleadingly "Samuel-"

Sam shook his head and gathered up Abbie's abandoned belonging off the floor.

"I'll see you around" he said, before jogging off after Abbie.

"Samuel!-" Tess called after him, just as he disappeared round the corner.

"I hope you're satisfied." Zoe said, as Max looked down at the floor. "How could you, Tess? She trusted you!"

Zoe shook her head in disgust and led Max away to cubicles.

Tess looked sharply at Connie.

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Tess demanded, her voice beginning to wobble.

"It was the right decision Tess, you know it, and I know it. What does it matter who made the call?" Connie replied as everybody returned to their business. "We need to be on the same side, not fighting it out between us."

"I just think it could've been handled differently"

Connie nodded

"Tess! I'm disappointed in you."

Connie turned and left, leaving a beleaguered Tess alone with her thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6 Saving Rita (Part 1)

Chapter 6. Saving Rita. Part 1

Rita Freeman, without a doubt, had had the worst day in the history of her nursing career. It had started at five am that day, with yet another stinking hangover and very little sleep. She'd spent four hours with ED regular Frank, trying to sober him up, and another hour attempting to clean Lofty's new trainers. The families of no less than four patients, had yelled at her for no apparent reason, and she'd narrowly avoided yet another roasting from Tess, but worst of all, most of the staff still weren't talking to her. All except Ash and Lofty, who didn't have a malicious bone in his body.

She needed a drink.

She pushed open the door to The Anchor and headed straight towards the bar.

Rita jumped up on a stool and dumped her bag on the floor as she caught the barmans eye.

"Vodka, please"

She wearily massaged the back of her neck as she looked round the pub. She vaguely recognised a handful of faces from the hospital, sat at a far table in a corner, obviously celebrating something judging by their raucous behaviour and the cardboard cut out masks of anybody ranging from Simon Cowell to Shrek. Rita turned back to the bar and smiled as her drink arrived in front of her.

"Thanks"

Rita paid the barman and wrapped her hands round the glass, staring blankly into the colourless liquid at the bottom. Mark had once said to her 'The answer to your problems can't be found in the bottom of a wine bottle'

"Ah, what would he know!" Rita snorted "Bottoms up!"

She downed her drink in one, the neat alcohol burning the back of her throat as she swallowed. A laugh erupted from the crowd at the back as an obviously expected arrival, Batman, no less, joined the table, but intent on drowning her own sorrows, Rita slammed the glass down on the bar and pushed it with her fingertips towards the barman.

"Same again"

Several Vodkas and three bottles of Merlot later, Rita could barely stand, let alone form a coherent sentence. The room whizzed round like a washing machine as Rita grabbed her wine glass from the bar and stumbled backwards, spilling the contents of her drink all over the carpet.

Rita swore as she flung her arms over the bar.

"Bottle of wine" Rita demanded, slamming her glass down in front of the barman

"I think you've had enough, love"

"I have not!" Rita exclaimed adamantly, grabbing onto the bar for support. The barman took her glass and made his way to the other end of the bar.

"Fine! I'll go somewhere else"

Rita pushed away from the bar and attempted to coordinate her arms and legs in something resembling a forward motion. She stumbled forwards, weaving in and and out of the tables as she headed for the exit. She was almost there when suddenly, she staggered sideways, crashing headlong into an unoccupied table. The half empty glasses teetered and fell, smashing into tiny pieces on the floor, and Rita threw out her hand in last ditch attempt to grab onto the table for support. She crashed to the floor with a thump, on top of the shards of glass embedded in he carpet. Rita lay still on the floor for a moment, dazed and nauseous.

"Right, you, out!" Yelled the barman, as the blurred figure loomed over her. Rita attempted to stand, her mind willing her body to move, but her arms and legs felt like lead weights and she slumped back to the floor, curling herself into the foetal position. The barman bent down to pull Rita up, but a man's voice from behind stopped him.

"It's alright, mate. I've got this"

The barman nodded thankfully, and retreated back behind the bar.

"Look at the state of you! Come on, up ya get!" Rita heard, as a strong pair of hands hauled her up off the floor. Rita wobbled, and grabbed onto his arm to steady herself. She squinted, trying to focus on the guy in front of her, as he pushed his cardboard Batman mask up onto his head. She was seeing triple, but could just about make out a pair of kind, green eyes staring down at her.

"Do I know you?" She frowned, staring hard at the stranger. It was no use. She made a mental note, the next time a handsome stranger rode in on his white horse, or in the Bat mobile, she'd definitely be sober. Rita broke into a wonky smile

"No, I'd definitely remember you!" Rita giggled, running her finger seductively down his bearded jawline.

"You've definitely had too much to drink!" Batman chuckled. "Come on let's get you home"

"I have not!" Rita protested, pursing her lips. "Ooooh"

Rita stared down at the warm, red liquid trickling down the palm of her hand.

"You need that seen to"

"It's okay! I'm a nurse!" Rita exclaimed, staggering forwards.

"Yeah, and you're no good to anyone at the moment. Let me have a look"

Rita stretched out her upturned hand towards him, and allowed him to inspect the damage.

"Well, there doesn't look like there's any glass in it, but it does need a couple of stitches."

He muttered something to the barman and he scurried off, returning with a first aid kit and handing it to Batman. He flipped open the lid and quickly rummaged through the box, smiling as he pulled out a bandage.

"You're a right little guardian angel, aren't you?" Rita told him, as he wrapped the bandage expertly round her wound.

"So I've been told" he replied, pulling her up of the chair. "Right, lets go and get you sorted"

" I think I'll stay for one more...Oops!" She exclaimed, falling sideways as a sudden wave of nausea engulfed her. Batman caught her around the waist as Rita threw back her head and cackled raucously at her inability to stand.

"I don't think so. Tess and Charlie would have a coronary if you turned up in this state, which is why we're leaving. Now"

Rita looked up and her mouth dropped open

"How did you-"

"I'm clairvoyant, didn't you know?"

Batman just smiled as he led Rita out into the street, and as a cold, blast of fresh air slammed against her face, a fresh rush of nausea rose from the pit of her stomach.

" I just need to stand...still...for a bit" Rita stammered, breathing deeply. She reached out and rested her hand against a wall, doubling over as she wrestled with the urge to vomit.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be-"

She clasped her chest and wretched, vomiting all over the pavement. It had a sudden sobering effect, as the world suddenly came back into focus. Rita took a deep breath in as the urge finally subsided, and with her back pressed against the wall, she slid slowly down to the cold, wet pavement.

Batman crouched down in front of her as Rita buried her hands in her unkempt, blonde hair.

"What's going on with you, eh?" He said softly, rubbing the back of her hand with the pad of his thumb.

Rita looked up, her vision focussing for the first time on her knight in shining armour. Her breath caught in her chest as her eyes flickered with recognition, a feeling of despair and emptiness encompassed her. Here she was- Rita Freeman, drunk, miserable and slumped in the gutter on a soaking wet pavement, without a friend in the world. She'd finally hit rock bottom, with no way out.

"Oh, Fletch-" she sobbed, as tears streamed down her cheeks

Rita buried her face in her hands as she felt a comforting arm slide around her shoulders.

"Come on, this isn't the Rita I know" Fletch grinned, rubbing her shoulder. ""Don't do this to yourself. Life's too short"

Rita looked up into his eyes, and for the first time, realised just how much she missed him.

"You've no idea-" Rita sniffed, shaking her head as she looked away. Fletch shuffled his feet, and she looked up as he settled himself down beside her, draping his arms over his knees.

"I know your husbands not dead" he began " No one will work with you and Tess didn't give you my job..."

Rita's head snapped up and she stared at him, wide eyed

Fletch nodded.

"Yeah I know, news travels fast. Tess and the others'll come around, but this-" he said, indicating with his finger "isn't going to solve anything"

Rita shook her head and looked up at the star-less night sky.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do" she whispered, her eyes filling with tears.

"Hey, if it's any consolation-" he smiled, nudging her shoulder with his " My Band six interview was awful!"

"Yeah, but you got the job!" Rita exclaimed, finally finding a smile.

"Only cos Tess and Charlie bribed the HR woman. She really didn't like me!"

Rita giggled and looked away

"That's better" Fletch grinned, brushing her tear stained cheek.

Rita turned her head and looked back at her friend.

"Thanks, Fletch"

"Anytime, lovely"

Fletch placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself to his feet, glancing up at the sky, as a few spots of rain pattered onto the pavement.

"Come on. As much as I love being in the company of a beautiful woman, we can't sit here all night. We need to get you to the hospital"

He held out his hand and Rita stared at it for a moment, before grabbing hold and pulling herself to her feet. She hesitated, her hand still in Fletch's, as her eyes widened as vague recollections began to creep into her mind.

"Oh my god!" Rita clamped her hands over her mouth in horror. "Did I come on to you?!"

Fletch chuckled

"It's alright" he replied with a twinkle in his eye "It happens a lot. Women find me irresistible. Especially in a tux!"

"You? In a Tux?!" Rita pulled a face and linked her arm through his, falling into a comfortable silence as they strolled towards his car.

"Fletch-" Rita stopped and pulled Fletch backwards, stopping him in his tracks.

"Please not the ED. I can't go there like this. Tess would sack me on the spot."

"Rita- Trust me!" He beamed, opening the car door. As she held his gaze, she felt as though she could trust him with her life. Fletch bent over in a mock bow, and swept his his arm out in front of him.

"M'Lady, your carriage awaits!"

...

Tess walked aimlessly down the corridor, her mind completely focused as she rubbed sanitiser into her hands. The sound of Abbie's desperate sobs continued to haunt her, as well as the look on Samuel's face when he thought she was to blame for the arrival of Dr West. She was worried about Rita more than she cared to admit - she was a fantastic nurse and a few months ago she couldn't think of anyone, other than Fletch, better suited to the job of Senior Staff Nurse.

Rita was becoming increasing volatile, and Tess felt it was only a matter of time before she hit the self destruct button. Amongst other things,her friendship with Zoe was hanging by a single, delicate thread, she'd pushed away the only man she'd ever truly loved, turned all her nurses against her and to top it all off, the department, and not to mention her life, were slowly slipping through her fingers. She desperately needed a Devine Intervention. Something. Anything. Someone...

Charlie called her, but Tess didn't hear as she was completely absorbed in her thoughts.

"Tess!" Charlie called again, a little louder this time, as he hurried to catch up with her. Tess stopped and turned around.

"Sorry, I was miles away" she said with a faint smile.

"Is everything Okay? I heard what happened-"

"I'm fine" Tess replied quickly. "What's wrong?"

"I was looking for Zoe, actually" Charlie said, scanning the department . "I don't suppose you know where she is?"

"I think she's with a patient " Tess nodded, gesturing towards cubicles.

Tess and Charlie slowed as they neared cubicles, their ears pricking up at the sound of familiar, hushed voices behind the curtain.

"So what's the verdict?"

Max inwardly groaned at the kink that had surreptitiously worked its way into his neck, as he'd been sat with his head tilted backwards, unable to move for the past ten minutes. He smiled as Zoe's gloved fingers gently examined his bruised and swollen jaw, working their way from one side to the other.

Max was In awe of this brilliant creature, at the look of pure concentration that had settled across her delicate features and the intensity in the way she worked. He was totally and completely in love with Zoe Hanna.

"Well-" she mused, running her fingers round one last time. "I don't think there's a fracture, but I'll send you for an X-Ray just to be on the safe side"

She rolled off her gloves and threw them into the clinical waste bin.

"Im glad I'm in such good hands" Max smiled slipping his hand round her waist and pulling her closer.

"Max!" Zoe hissed, looking over her shoulder" This isn't the time and definitely not the place! What if someone comes in!"

Max leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her neck

"Your place or mine?"

On the other side of the curtain, Charlie and Tess slowly looked at each other, completely lost for words.


	7. Chapter 7 Saving Rita Part 2

"So this is where you've been hiding?"

Rita looked up at Fletch with a small smile, as the pair exited the lift and made their way towards the double doors of Holby's AAU.

"Not hiding" Fletch replied, pirouetting sharply on his heels to open the door for a pretty red head nurse. He pressed his back against the door and grinned appreciatively as the nurse shimmied through the small gap, flashing him a sunny smile of her own.

"Just keeping a low profile"

"So that's what you call it" Rita mused, glancing blearily over her shoulder as she quickened her steps to catch up with Fletch. She still half expected Connie, or worse- Tess to come barging through the doors. "I'm guessing Tess doesn't know"

Fletch shook his head as he gestured for Rita to take a seat on the empty bed

"What do you think? I'm not exactly her favourite person" Fletch replied, perching on the edge of a stool " and anyway, she probably hasn't given me a second thought"

Fletch tugged on his gloves and gently eased Rita's injured hand towards him.

"Listen, Fletch-"

Fletch glanced up, looking intently at his former colleague.

"Thanks for this"

Fletch broke into a wide grin and began to unwrap the bloodied, makeshift bandage he'd quickly cobbled together at the pub.

"Don't be daft. What are friends for, eh?" He replied with a wink.

Rita's eyelids grew heavy as she watched Fletch work, and reluctantly gave into the sudden wave of exhaustion that settled over her aching limbs. She slowly closed her eyes, as the bustle of the department and the faint ring of a telephone lulled her into a light sleep.

Fletch smiled to himself as he finished the sutures, and not for the first time, his thoughts wandered to Tess. He'd second guessed his decision to come back so many times, and didn't want to hurt Tess anymore than he already had. He thought he'd been doing a pretty good job of moving on, and god knows he definitely had his hands full with Colette. It was proving to be a welcome distraction. Running a ward was proving harder than he had anticipated, and wished he had half of the strength and authority that Tess had in abundance. He admired and respected her more than anyone he'd ever met, and that was part of the reason he'd fallen in love with her. He needed to hear her voice, needed one of her motivational talks to get him back on the right track. He needed _her._

Ever since he'd come to work on AAU, he'd been growing closer to Colette, and even began to wonder if they might have a second chance , now they were older and a hell of a lot wiser. But however much he wanted to, however hard he tried, he just couldn't get Tess out of his mind. Maybe he just needed to try harder.

"Are you just going to sit there all night or would you like me to do it?"

Fletch jumped as Rita's weary voice punctuated his thoughts, and she shifted position in an attempt to relieve the cramp that had settled in her leg.

"Do what?" Fletch asked, raising his eyebrows as he glanced up at Rita.

"You were miles away. Are you okay?" Rita asked, her voice laced with concern.

"Just thinking about how I've made such a mess of everything" Fletch replied as he dressed Rita's wound.

"Yeah well, it can't be as bad as my pathetic excuse for a life-"

"Oh I dunno" Fletch shrugged, making a vain attempt to sound cheerful " I only see my kids every other weekend, I walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me and I've got a bitter ex wife who's intent on shafting me for every penny I've got. Life's just rosy"

Rita dropped her gaze as Fletch reached across and replaced his equipment on the trolley. She'd been so wrapped up in her own problems, she'd never stopped to consider what Fletch had been going through these last few months. She'd seen the devastation with her own eyes, and suddenly her problems paled in comparison. Tess had broken his heart.

"Fletch, I'm sorry-" she whispered

"What for?" Fletch replied, springing up off the stool " It's not your fault I lied, cheated and hurt the people I care about."

He snapped off his gloves and tossed them in the bin, before hastily tidying his equipment.

"Maybe you had a lucky escape" Rita said with a half smile as she attempted to lighten the mood. "Nobody recognises Tess anymore since she's teamed up with Queen Connie"

"I find that hard to believe" Fletch replied , running a hand through his damp, matted hair.

"Believe it" Rita responded, her expression darkening.

"Ever since people found out about you and her, she's turned into some sort of..." She paused and shook her head, searching for the right words to sum up Tess' sudden personality change

"...Obsessive martyr!" Rita finished " She's taking what happened out on everybody else!"

Fletch bowed his head sadly

"I never wanted that to happen"

"Oh, Fletch- I'm not blaming you-" Rita replied, reaching out and rubbing the top of his arm "I'm sure if anyone can bring the old Tess back, it's you"

Rita leaned her head on one side as Fletch lifted his eyes and caught her gaze

"Well?"

For a split second, Fletch thought about turning on his heel and running down to the ED, being face to face again with the woman he loved. But he'd made her a promise, and this one he intended to keep.

Fletch shook his head

"That's in the past. Tess asked me to let her go, and I have. End of story"

"Is it?"

Fletch's breath caught in his chest at the two simple words, and fought to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. He'd been so sure that walking away was the right thing to do, but, as the element of doubt began to creep surreptitiously into his mind, he came to the sudden, dawning realisation that he wasn't sure about anything at all.

With a faint smile, Fletch turned his back to Rita and quickly wiped away a solitary tear with the back of his sleeve.

Colette Sheward cursed under her breath as she slammed Guys office door with a strength she never realised she possessed.

She'd just spent the last hour and half explaining to the CEO why AAU was understaffed and over budget, and attempting to defend Fletch's laissez faire management style to the board.

"Politics!" She hissed as she stormed down the corridor, bristling at the fact that Guy had sided with the board as opposed to his staff, and one thing Colette had always prided herself on, was being loyal to her nurses.

"Hey! Watch it!" Harry exclaimed, jumping aside as Colette barrelled through the doors of the ward "what's ruffled your feathers?"

Colette threw Harry the filthiest look she could muster and slumped down into a vacant chair behind reception, massaging her temples in a futile bid to rid herself of her pounding headache. Guy Self was without a doubt, one of the most infuriatingly stubborn men she'd ever had the misfortune of meeting, and also happened to be one of the more endearing qualities Zosia had inherited from her father. But he'd been right about one thing. Fletch was getting to her, worming his way back into her life before she'd even realised, and the truth was she wasn't sure she could stop it, even if she wanted to. She hated it when Guy was right.

"What is it about him?"

"What are you on about, Dr Tressler?" Colette snapped, opening her eyes and glaring at the doctor stood beside her.

Harry pointed with his pen across the ward

"Way out of his league"

Colette's eyes widened as her gaze came to rest on the evident source of her consternation. Fletch stood over the other side of the ward, in a soaking wet jacket and grubby jeans, grinning broadly at the pretty blonde thing she vaguely recognised from the ED. In all the years she'd known him, Fletch had always been a sucker for a pretty face, and that was part of the reason why she'd left him at the altar. But Tess, she was a different proposition altogether. She wasn't the usual type to be bowled over by his boyish charm, she was strong, independent and very much in charge, and that's what bothered Colette the most. The last thing she wanted was Fletch to be reminded of the past, and right now, part of it was sitting right in front of him.

Colette cleared her throat and snatched up a patient file lying beside the telephone.

"Haven't you got patients to see, Dr Tressler?" She asked, slapping the file against his chest. Taking the hint, Harry grasped the file with a brief nod and stalked off down the corridor.

"Not bad, even if I do say so myself" Fletch beamed as Rita admired his handiwork

"Look, Fletch, I really appreciate this, but I don't want you getting into trouble with the boss on my account" Rita replied, jumping off the bed and grabbing her jacket. "From what I've heard about Colette, Tess is definitely the lesser of two evils!"

Fletch couldn't help but chuckle

"Good job she's not the boss then" he replied as they walked side by side towards the exit. Rita stopped and grabbed hold of his jacket, swinging him round to face her.

"What? You?!" Rita asked in disbelief.

"What's wrong with that?" Fletch frowned, puffing out his chest as Rita dissolved into fits of giggles.

"Nothing! I just never imagined you running a department, that's all"

"That wounds me to the core, nurse Freeman" mocked Fletch, placing a hand over his chest.

"Oh shut up!" Rita grinned, slapping him playfully on the hand that covered his chest.

"I'll have you know I'm a great boss!" Fletch continued, pushing open the door to let Rita through. "As a matter of fact, we could do with someone like you up here"

Rita's heart leapt in her chest as she swung round to face him

"Are you serious?"

"Course I am. Good nurses seem to be in short supply round here. Now I know how Tess felt..."

Fletch remembered only to well, the chaos and confusion agency nurse Kirsty had inflicted on the ward. Rita was exactly the kind of nurse they needed.

Fletch's voice trailed off as he caught a flash of green through the glass in the door, and stood up straight, preparing himself for the approaching hurricane.

"Fletch-"

Rita's smiled faded as Colette Sheward squeezed through the doors, and judging by the thunderous look that had settled across her face, she was less than pleased to see them.

"Can I have a word?" She asked, pinning Rita with an icy glare.

"Yeah, course"

Fletch shoved his hand into his Jean pocket and pulled out his keys, dropping them into the palm of Rita's good hand

"I'll meet you downstairs" he told her with a reassuring wink.

Rita nodded and clutching the car keys, she disappeared through the doors, leaving Fletch and Colette alone.

Fletch casually leaned back against the wall, regarding Colette with amusement.

"Early night eh?" Colette glowered, pinning her dark eyes on Fletch. "Early start, more like"

"Oh come on Colly wobble, I'm helping out a friend, that's all" Fletch protested

Colette folded her arms across her chest

"We're not a drop in centre, Fletch. You can't just bring in any old waif and stray off the street whenever you feel like it!"

"Now hang on a minute!" Fletch frowned, pushing himself off the wall "Rita's a mate. A good mate. She needed medical attention-"

"And I bet you were only too happy to oblige!" Colette shot back, her eyes flashing angrily.

Fletch looked away, attempting to keep his emotions in check

"I don't believe this-" Fletch murmured, shaking his head in disbelief at Colette's attitude. She knew exactly what buttons to push where he was concerned, and he hated the fact he was so transparent.

"What's wrong with the ED?

Fletch leaned towards Colette, until his face was inches from hers. His green eyes bore intently into her own, causing the fine hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end. God, those eyes...

"She asked me not to take her there" he replied, keeping his voice low so they wouldn't be overheard

"I thought we were getting somewhere" she whispered, nervously biting her lip.

Fletch moved away from Colette, his gaze softening. All he seemed to do was hurt people.

"I don't know" Fletch replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. "God, what a mess!"

Fletch exhaled deeply and raised his eyes to the ceiling. He knew he needed to make it right, but had no idea where to even begin.

"Fletch-" Colette swallowed hard, not sure if she wanted to know the answer to her next question. Colette reached out and touched his arm.

"Is this about Tess?"

Fletch's sad eyes darted back to the nurse at the mention of her name

"I don't know" he repeated, his voice beginning to wobble "I don't know anything anymore"

Fletch turned and hunched his shoulders as he pushed open the door. He hesitated and glanced over his shoulder at Colette's forlorn figure, unable to suppress the burgeoning feeling of guilt that tore away at his insides.

As he stared into Colette's pleading brown eyes, he finally realised what Tess had meant.

**"You have a wife and four children. I'm not going to be that woman. Loving you made me hate me"**

He could never fathom why loving someone so completely, could lead to such a sense of self loathing. Until now.

Bowing his head, he let go of the door and trudged away, leaving the door to swing shut behind him.

Rita woke with a start. She hadn't even realised she'd fallen asleep until the click of the door handle roused her from her slumber. She pushed herself up in the passenger seat and smiled sleepily at Fletch as he slid in beside her.

"Everything alright?"

"Course" Fletch replied, reaching over his shoulder for the seat belt.

Rita frowned as he drew it across his chest and clipped it in place. He seemed a million miles away, seemingly carrying the weight of the world on his broad shoulders. She was so used to his carefree, laid back attitude and it worried her that he was so troubled.

"Colette?"

"Eh?"

Fletch's look of utter confusion did absolutely nothing to allay her concerns.

"Ohhhh, yeah that" he chuckled, pushing the keys into the ignition " she just wanted to talk about a patient. Nothing to worry about"

Rita raised her eyebrows as the engine roared to life

"Sure about that?" She asked as Fletch reached down to release the handbrake.

"Cross me heart and hope to die" he beamed, drawing the shape of a cross over his chest with his finger. His eyes flickered back to the road as he pressed his foot down on the clutch and suddenly his whole body stilled, frozen in his shock. Fletch remained deathly still as he stared out into the darkness, his hand curling tightly around the gear stick.

Rita slowly followed his gaze across the road, and as the street lamp cast a pale, orange glow across the pavement, she could just about make out a shadowy figure hurrying towards a parked car. Her eyes widened as she recognised the familiar gait, the way she hoisted her bag onto her shoulder, and judging by Fletch's reaction, he'd recognised her too.

It was Tess.

...

Tess slid unnoticed into her office, grateful that her shift had finally ended. Tess closed the blinds and wearily pulled her scrubs over her head, hanging them neatly on the hangar behind her door. As she pulled on her jeans, she found herself thinking about what she'd heard in cubicles, even though she didn't want to believe it. She never thought for a moment Zoe would be involved with Max, and he certainly wasn't her usual type. But then Zoe Hanna always had been full of surprises and this was no exception. What bothered her the most, was that Zoe had obviously felt unable to confide in her, like Tess had not all that long ago. Tess knew she wouldn't have managed without the support of Zoe and Charlie, and now she and Zoe were barely speaking. Tess slipped her jumper over her head and grabbed her coat and bag from the stand, as she debated whether or not to bring up the subject with Zoe. Charlie had said it was better left alone- it was Zoe's business and they had no right to interfere, especially in the light of Connie's new non fraternisation policy. As far as Tess was concerned, there was only one way it was going to end.

Tess switched off the light and pulled the door shut behind her as she left.

"Tess!"

Tess sighed and stopped as Lofty bounded towards her office.

"Make it quick" Tess snapped irritably, as she rummaged around at the bottom of her bag for her keys. "I'm on my way home"

"It's just about Mrs Parker in four-" Lofty began, tripping over a cleaning bucket that had been abandoned in the middle of the floor.

"God give me strength" Tess muttered under her breath

"Oh Tess!" called Louise's voice from reception

"Oh, what it is to be popular!" Tess grumbled as she strode towards reception "What is it?"

Louise's eyes narrowed as she handed Tess a piece of scrap paper.

"The Ward Manager from AAU phoned for you earlier. He said you can call him back on this number"

Tess stared down at the hastily scribbled phone number

"And no one thought to give me this earlier?"

"Don't look at me, Noel took the call." Louise retorted, looking back at the computer.

"Well, it'll have to wait" Tess huffed, stuffing the number into her handbag "if anyone's got any problems, Charlie's on til eleven. I'll see you in the morning."

Tess strode out of the department, thankful for the fact that it had least stopped raining long enough for her to make it across the road to her car. Hoisting her bag onto her shoulder, Tess walked quickly along the deserted path, with only the faint, orange glow from the streetlight to light her way. Tess pulled open the car door, ignoring the distant rumble of the approaching car, but as she climbed in, something made her stop. She could have sworn the approaching car had slowed as he drove past. Tess squinted into the darkness as the lights faded away into the distance, and shook her head as she mentally berated herself for being so ridiculous.

"Nows your chance"

Rita's voice broke the silence as Fletch continued to stare at Tess through the windscreen.

"What?" He finally managed, looking at Rita beside him.

"Go and speak to her. I'll wait"

Fletch wanted more than anything, to be able to see her again. He'd thought twice about returning her calls earlier, and thankfully, Noel hadn't recognised his voice on the other end. He was truly grateful for small mercies. He wasn't quite ready for Tess to know he was back, and when he did tell her, he wanted it to be on his terms, not the subject of idle gossip. He respected her too much for that.

"I wouldn't know what to say" he croaked, turning his attentions back to the woman across the road.

"How about the truth?"

Fletch glanced across at Rita

"And what's that then?"

"That you miss her, that you're sorry..."

Rita blinked back the tears that began to fill her eyes

"And that you still love her"

"It's not that simple" Fletch replied, before pulling away from the kerb. Tess didn't even turn as he drove past, and as he glanced at Tess' retreating form in the rear view mirror, he felt a tug of regret before turning the corner towards Rita's house, leaving Tess completely oblivious to his presence.


	8. Chapter 8 Mea Culpa

Chapter Eight. Mea Culpa. (Flashbacks are in bold)

**Tess drummed her fingers rhythmically on her desk, mentally cursing herself for her inability to concentrate on the more taxing aspects of her job. 'Data analysis and reconfiguration of Emergency Medicine and Level 1 Trauma Centers within Inner City Hospitals in the UK and US', the title read. Christ, Tess barely knew what it meant herself, and she was expected to produce a ten page report on the effect of ED cost reductions, and present it to the CEO at a board meeting first thing in the morning. **

**Just the thought of it had her hyperventilating.**

**Tess despised the fact she was getting bogged down with all this unnecessary paperwork, and resented every bone in Henrik Hanssens body for dumping it unceremoniously in her lap. Helpfully, Zoe had taken a weeks leave, so it was solely down to her. She'd thought for a while it was time to hand over the reins and get back to what she did best. Treating patients.**

**Maybe that time was now. **

**If the truth be told, her argument with Fletch the previous evening was still bothering her and was probably the contributing factor to her evident apathy towards her responsibilities. **

**Tess had left for work before Fletch had even woken, and had been resolutely ignoring his apologetic and grovelling texts all morning.**

**Why hadn't he told her about this holiday?**

**The fact of the matter was, he was married with children and had no claim on his time in any way, yet he'd chosen to spend the whole day, and whole night with her. **

**She felt like a jealous teenager.**

**Tess jumped at the faint knock on her door and quickly scrabbled together the brief for her presentation. **

**"Come in!" **

**The door opened slightly and a white handkerchief appeared through the gap, bouncing between a familiar pair of fingers. Tess lowered her pen, folding her hands together on the desk as a small smile worked its way onto her face.**

**Fletch's cheeky grin peered round the door and the rest of his body soon followed.**

**"I come in peace".**

**Tess cleared her throat and forced back her smile as Fletch sidled through the door, one arm behind his back.**

**"What is it Fletch, I'm busy" Tess muttered, her eyes falling back towards her paperwork**

**Fletch glanced over his shoulder and certain no one was around, he quietly shut the door. **

**"Fletch-" **

**He swung around to reveal what he'd been hiding. The most delicious looking chocolate cake she'd ever laid eyes on.**

**"What's that?" Tess asked with a quick shake of her head.**

**Fletch looked down at his offering, and looked back up at Tess with an irresistible confusion that had Tess wanting to jump his bones, right there and then. Luckily, she still had some degree of self control.**

**"Cake" he replied succinctly.**

**"I can see that. What's it for?" She replied, with a huff of irritation. Her eyes dropped back to her work, not really seeing the words in front of her.**

**"It's a peace offering" Fletch replied, sliding the cake tantalisingly in front of her. **

**Tess glanced up at the double chocolate layers, with dark chocolate icing smothered messily on top. She couldn't deny it looked delicious, and the growl that emanated from the pit of her stomach, reminded her that she hadn't actually eaten since breakfast. **

**Fletch perched on the edge of her desk, leaning his head to one side as he read the pieces of paper that Tess pretended to be absorbed in. He pointed his finger, aimlessly towards the desk.**

** "You've got that upside down, by the way" **

**"FLETCH!"**

**Tess thumped her arms down onto the desk as Fletch recoiled, holding up his hands in mock surrender. A small smile worked its way across his handsome features, as Tess turned her paperwork the right way up.**

**God, she loved this man.**

**"Not hungry" Tess said, with a childish pout that surprised even her. She wasn't quite ready to let him off the proverbial hook, just yet. **

**"Tess, I'm trying to apologise!"**

**"It's going to take more than a piece of cake..."**

**"Fine. Dinner then" Fletch pleaded, cutting her off. He placed his hands on the surface of the desk and leaned across, forcing Tess to look at him. As their gaze locked, he almost gave in to the irresistible urge to kiss her. **

**He still had a little more work to do to get back into her good books.**

**"Tess, I want to be with you." He whispered, his soft tone sending shivers all the way up her spine." I've told Nat I'm on a double shift, we've got all night together" **

**Tess' pen hovered above the page, as she considered the prospect of another night with Fletch all to herself. **

**"Hey-" Fletch reached out and brushed her chin, tipping her head so her dark eyes lifted to meet his.**

**"I'm sorry, alright?" **

**"You should have told me" she whispered, finally tearing her gaze away from his.**

**"You're right, as always" Fletch replied with a smile "So, are we okay?"**

**Tess nodded**

**"Yeah, We're okay" **

**Tess held her breath as Fletch leaned across the desk and placed a soft kiss on her cheek**

**"I really need to get this done, Fletch" Tess murmured as Fletch pulled away **

**"What is it anyway?" Fletch asked, as he rounded the desk.**

**"Just a report for the department meeting in the morning" Tess frowned as she jabbed at the mouse button with absolutely no effect.**

**"Damn it!" **

**"Give it here" Fletch said, brushing Tess' hand aside, as he took hold of the mouse. Tess watched with interest as he swept the cursor expertly across the screen, clicked a few times and pressed a button on the keyboard.**

**"Walla!" He exclaimed as Tess' mouth dropped open in surprise. Colourful graphs popped up on the screen, blue, red and green pie charts illustrated that data Tess had spent hours working on.**

**"How did you do that?" Tess asked, twisting round to look up at him**

**"See, not just a pretty face" Fletch beamed, as he strolled towards the door.**

**"So, do you have any more hidden talents I should know about?" Tess asked conversationally, as she rose from her chair **

**"That's for me to know, and you to definitely find out" Fletch replied with a cheeky wink. He smiled to himself as Tess' cheeks flushed at his comment. He loved having that effect on her.**

**"This is really good" Tess mumbled through a mouthful of cake, hoping to divert the topic of conversation "did you make this?"**

**A wide grin spread across his face **

**"Nah, I nicked it off Sylvia in the cafe, but it's the thought that counts!"**

**Tess almost choked on her food, spraying crumbs across the room as a laugh escaped **

**"Idiot, Fletch!" Tess coughed, as she swallowed the last of the cake.**

**"You got me in one!"**

**Seizing the moment, Tess suddenly grabbed a fistful of his scrubs and pulled him into a long, lingering kiss. The passion took him by surprise, and as he drew her closer and deepened the kiss, a small moan escaped his lips.**

**"What was that for?" He murmured against her lips, when they eventually separated. **

**"For being you" Tess replied, her hand resting on his chest.**

**Fletch reached up and took the hand that covered his heart, and lowered it to her side. He took her other hand in his, tangling their fingers as he gave her a gentle tug to pull her closer. **

**"If I could get out of holiday, I would" he said, with a tinge of regret **

**"They're your family" Tess replied, dropping her gaze to the floor.**

**Fletch nodded and leaned forward, resting his forehead against Tess'.**

**"What are we going to do?" He asked, pulling away to look in her eyes.**

**Tess shook her head**

**"I don't know" **

... ...

The white hot flames ravaged around her, licking at the twisted, distorted metal that pinned her to the floor, searing against her skin. The smell of burning , rotting flesh filled her nostrils as the piercing, terrified screams of the injured, reverberated in her ears. She screamed his name, but no words came out. Instead, a whispered prayer escaped her lips, as she saw the blossoming red stain beginning to appear around the shard of metal that was impaled through her leg.

"Tess?"

The faint sound teased the edge of her hearing as the train exploded into a huge fireball, bright orange flames engulfing everything in the vicinity.

Tess jumped at the second explosion and flung her hands over her face, as if covering her eyes wouldn't allow her to see the death and destruction in front of her. All she could feel was intolerable pain.

"Tess?"

The voice pulled her sharply back to the present, and Tess suddenly became aware of the tears that slipped through her fingers, and rushed down her cheeks.

" How often do you have these dreams?"

Tess slowly lowered her hands, and sat in silence, staring vacantly at the lurid green, patterned wallpaper that hung obtrusively behind Dr Eliotts mahogany desk. She'd sat in the same chair, staring at the same wall on four previous visits, and it suddenly occurred to her she'd never noticed it before.

Dr Eliott looked softly at Tess, his kind, green eyes offering her wordless support as she struggled to express her feelings. Her first two visits, they'd sat in silence for the entire half hour session. He never rushed or judged her or pretended to understand. In this room, she wasn't Sister Bateman, Clinical Nurse Manager, a Mistress, Friend or Leader. There was nothing to define or label her within these four walls.

Here, she was just Tess.

He took in her damp, tear stained cheeks, the vacant, empty look behind her eyes and wondered just what or who had caused her to hurt so badly.

"And down the river's dim expanse, like some bold seer in a trance, seeing all his own mischance, with glassy countenance, did she look to Camelot"

Dr Eliott pushed his circular glasses back up his nose and frowned.

" I'm sorry?"

Tess nodded towards a framed print of the Lady of Shalott that hung on the wall behind his desk.

" The Lady of Shalott" Tess said, as Dr Elliot turned round to look at the print.

" Forbidden to look directly at reality or the outside world, doomed to view the world through a mirror, spending her days and nights aching for a return to normality"

Her voice faded as she bowed her head, absently picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of her jumper.

Dr Elliot turned round and rested his hands on top of his notes.

"Is that how you see yourself?"

Tess raised her head slightly as Dr Elliot continued

"That in some way you're being punished for what you've done?"

Tess shook her head

"I know this is all my fault. He's lost his family and almost lost his job because of me-"

"How?"

**"Just calm down"**

**"How can I? You've crossed out my initials and added your own"**

**"That's all I could think of doing"**

**"What were you going to say in the statement?"**

**"That I wrote my initials, he pen ran out, it then became illegible. I got a new pen and crossed them out and wrote them again"**

**"Do you think that would wash with the investigator?"**

**"If I'd already admitted my mistake then, yeah"**

**"Fletch, this is fraud. Not only would you lose your job, he whole department would be investigated. What possessed you to do that?"**

**"You know why"**

**"I really don't" **

**"Look, it was my fault you were distracted. I mean my wife shows up and you have to deal with her. This is such a mess-"**

**"No it's not. It's quite clear. You're gonna be a dad again"**

**"Yes, but I don't know if I wanna be"**

**"That's not how it looked to me, all he smiles looking at the ultrasound.."**

**"It's a baby, Tess! I mean who doesn't smile at a baby! It doesn't mean that we're- look, me and Nat haven't been right for a long time, even before you and me got together. Now, what, suddenly she's pregnant and she's acting like its gonna fix everything-"**

**"Are you saying she got pregnant on purpose?"**

**"I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. But the sleepless nights and the dirty nappies, I can't face that again. If this is how I'm feeling, I can't imagine how you must be feeling, what must be going through your head. It might have been your mistake, but this is all my fault. What we gonna do?"**

**"I don't know"**

**...**

**"I was passing?"**

**"Fletch-"**

**"You've missed a couple of shifts"**

**"I'm fine."**

**"But then you stopped answering your phone and I started to get worried"**

**"There's no need-"**

**"Big day today"**

**"I'm so sorry"**

**"It's fine. We did the right thing"**

**"Did we?"**

**"Well I guess were gonna find out"**

**"I'll never forgive myself if you lost your job"**

**"I won't"**

**"But if you do-"**

**"Then it's my decision. Tess will you stop tidying up! Look, what I did was fraud, you said it yourself. We can't have the whole department being investigated. Hopefully I'm just gonna get a slap on the wrist"**

**"A patient could have died-"**

**"Oh!"**

**"You alright?"**

**"Stand still"**

**"I am" **

Dr Elliot bowed his head as Tess finished her account. The whole thing had left her deeply and emotionally scarred.

"Sounds like he put a lot on the line for you" he said softly.

"I didn't deserve it. He thought he was protecting me"

Dr Eliott removed his glasses, and began to clean the lenses with the bottom of his shirt.

It gave him time to think, to think of how he was going to turn her life around.

He replaced his glasses, and eyed Tess thoughtfully.

"And what do you think?"

"I think... I just want things to be normal again"

Tess barely recognised her own voice. It was feeble and weak, not the firm, strong, authoritative voice she was used to- the voice she used day after day to run her department. In fact, she barely recognised anything about herself anymore.

Dr Elliot dropped his notes on the floor and leaned forward, forcing Tess to look at him, her eyes once again, glistening with tears.

"It's not a crime to be happy, Tess" Dr Elliot said softly. He gestured with his arm behind him, encompassing the print of The Lady.

"You know, sometimes keeping yourself safe is no substitute for the chance to really live"

Tess raised her eyes to look ironically at her silver haired therapist

"She died. Escaping on a boat." Tess replied, matter-of- factly, ignoring the small smile tugging at his lips.

"Even so-" said Dr Elliot, sitting back in his seat "you can't argue with the logic"

Tess felt herself smile for the first time in weeks, and the warm, fuzzy feeling it brought, made her think that Connie hadn't been so wrong in insisting she come.

"And the dreams?"

Tess took a long, shaky breath

"I haven't slept properly in weeks "she admitted

"Ever since the crash?"

Tess nodded and she tugged anxiously at the pink scarf around her neck

"I thought I was going to die. There were people screaming all around me and just a smell of burning-"

Tess grimaced as she recounted the memory, and shook her head vigorously, indicating she couldn't go on.

"Fletch got you out."

"I told him to go, but he wouldn't leave me."

"Because he loves you"

"He had no right to love me. Not after everything I've done"

**"Go, leave me"**

**"What? I'll grab a packet of biscuits and wait until the fire crew say its alright to come back in and get ya!"**

**"Go Fletch, I think I can smell fuel"**

**"That's not fuel, that's a new aftershave I'm trying, don't you like it?" **

**"What about your kids? Go on, leave me, go!"**

**" No I tried that once and I didn't like how it turned out"**

**"Please, will you just go?!" **

**"Tess, in a word, No, alright?. Right, now, this is gonna hurt. One, I love you, Three!"**

**Tess screamed in pain as Fletch pulled the shard of metal through her skin, releasing her from the bind that pinned her to the cold, damp floor of the wreckage. He lifted her into the safety of his strong arms and she threw her arms around his neck, clinging to him as though her life depended on it. In that instant, she knew everything would be Ok.**

"He saved my life"

Tess looked up at the ceiling, hot tears blurring her vision. She fought to swallow through her dry throat, as a wave of nausea suddenly engulfed her.

"God, what have I done?"


	9. Chapter 9 Revolving Doors Part 1

Chapter Nine. Revolving Doors. Part 1

A small shaft of daylight peeked through the small gap in the curtains, stirring Tess from her fitful slumber. The alarm clock buzzed impatiently on the bedside table, announcing the arrival of a new day. Tess forced open one eye and groaned at the light streaming in through the window, regretting the fact she'd stayed up half the night to finish her report for the meeting. She'd barely slept a wink, but then that was pretty much the norm these days. Her mind was too full of staffing budgets and cost cutting measures to be able to rest, consequently the precious commodity of sleep had once again eluded her.

Tess rolled onto her back and slid her arm out from under the duvet, slamming her hand down onto the snooze button.

Peace.

Tess folded her hands over the top of the duvet and stared up at the ceiling, trying to fashion up some sort of enthusiasm to face the day that lie ahead. A morning full of meetings, and performance development reviews in the afternoon, and all she really wanted to do, was pull the duvet over her head and try to pretend the day wasn't happening at all.

Tess glanced across at the clock which read six forty five, and with a heavy sigh, knowing she couldn't put off the inevitable any longer, she threw back the duvet and sat up.

Tess grimaced and covered her eyes with her hand, as a dull throbbing pain pushed into the space above her left eye, and ignoring the temptation to curl back under the duvet, Tess forced herself out of bed. Tess threw back the curtains to reveal the miserable, wet day outside, and as she squinted up and down the deserted street, she fleetingly wondered if this bleak, wretched weather would ever end. The only sign of life outside, was a sole dog walker, wrapped from head to foot in a cagoule, his shoulders hunched against the bitter wind.

Rubbing her temples, Tess turned and padded towards the bathroom.

...

Everything in Tess Batemans home had its place, and more often than not, her penchant for 'scrupulously immaculate' ensured her home rivalled the ones found in the glossy magazines.

But not today.

The ironing board sat at one end of the kitchen and the basket that sat in the middle of the table was almost full to the brim with creased, un-ironed clothes.

A plate lay at one end of the table with the remnants of last nights meal that Tess hadn't bothered to finish and empty coffee mugs and saucepans lay unwashed in the sink.

_"This is Holby FM, and we've got another wet, miserable day in store, with heavy showers expected later on. So, to cheer you all up, here's Rita Ora"_

_'Tell me, baby, what we're gonna do_

_I'll make it easy, got a lot to lose_

_Watch the sunlight coming through_

_Open the window, let it shine on you'_

The sound of the radio filled Tess' kitchen as she flicked on the kettle, and popped two small paracetamols from the packet and washed them down with a glass of water. Tess leant against the worktop and stared vacantly out of the kitchen window as she waited for the kettle to boil. She couldn't help but wonder at what point her life had become so inane, so routine. Work was all she had, and her last session with Dr Elliot had shown her just what she'd given up- the chance to really live.

Tess instinctively turned away from the window and made her way to the fridge, pulling open the door as she thought about what she and Dr Elliot had spoken about.

Could she really be happy in a relationship that had started through lies and deceit? Yes, she hadn't expected it, yes she hadn't been looking for it, but it didn't alter what they'd done. She'd looked Natalie in the eye and supported Fletch's lies. For that, she'd never, ever forgive herself.

Tess stared blankly at the near empty shelves, her eyes travelling over the lonely microwave meal and mouldy piece of cheese that sat on the middle shelf.

She made a mental note to stop at Sainsburys on the way home from work.

Tess grabbed the half empty carton of milk and pushed shut the door, throwing the empty wine bottle from last night into the recycling on her way past.

Still, at least she'd managed to finish the report for the meeting this morning and as Tess glanced at the clock, she cursed under her breath as she realised what the time was. She quickly tidied away the ironing basket and scraped her uneaten dinner into the pedal bin, before stuffing the unwashed dishes and mugs untidily into the dishwasher.

In Tess' haste, she knocked her hip against the table, sending her handbag toppling to the floor. It landed upside down, and Her purse, keys, hospital ID and various items of makeup scattered noisily across the kitchen floor.

Tess squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath as she cursed herself for being so clumsy. Tess knelt down and began to scoop up the contents of her bag, and as she picked up her purse, a small crumpled piece of paper underneath caught her eye. Getting to her feet, Tess carefully placed her bag back on the table and unfolded the piece of paper she'd picked off the floor.

It was a number, written in Noel's familiar, loopy scrawl, and she suddenly remembered the AAU Ward Manager had called for her the previous evening, and she'd been so intent on escaping, she'd forgotten to return the call.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she studied the number- it was a mobile number rather than an internal extension, one that she didn't recognise.

Why would the Ward Manager give her a mobile number?

Tess barely had time to dwell on the question she'd asked herself, as she glanced up at the oven clock and realised she had exactly twenty minutes to get to work. Tess hurriedly opened her Filofax and tucked the number safely away in the front pocket, before cramming all of the items she'd retrieved from the kitchen floor back into her already brimming handbag. Grabbing her keys and the report she'd spent half the night finishing from the table, she strode through the hall and out to her car, slamming the front door shut behind her.

...

Tess detested the monthly management meetings with a passion. It was just an excuse for the CEO to interrogate all the Department Heads and Ward Managers about Budgets and cost cutting exercises, and to tell them all they 'must do better'. Guy Self definitely had a vision for Holby, and would do absolutely anything in his power to make the vision a reality, whatever the cost. Change was most definitely in the air, and the sheer thought of it terrified Tess more that she was prepared to admit.

Tess felt the usual sense of dread as she entered the lift and pressed the floor number for AAU.

She'd made it to the hospital In record time, and changing quickly into her scrubs, she'd managed to avoid both Charlie and Zoe as she slipped undetected through the department. Tess clutched her report tightly against her chest as the lift doors opened and she stepped out onto the wards of AAU.

Tess frowned as she looked around the ward. She'd been up to AAU hundreds of times, but today, something felt different. Every bed was occupied, mostly with patients Tess recognised from the ED, but there appeared to be a distinct absence of nurses. Shaking her head, Tess made her way along the corridor to the meeting room.

The room was almost full when Tess hurried round the circular table to her seat, squeezing in beside Jonny Maconie and muttering her apologies, even though she still had five minutes to spare. Tess quickly scanned the room as she plopped into her seat, and deftly arranged her paperwork in front of her. It was like the Who's Who of Holby, as Tess smiled a greeting at Jac Naylor, who returned the greeting with a curt nod. Guy Self sat at one end of the table flanked by Connie and Jac, the new Head of Cardiothoracics. Tess had always been fond of Elliott Hope, and still found it hard to imagine anyone other than Elliott at the helm. Serena Campbell, deputy CEO sat beside Jac, deep in conversation about an upcoming surgery with Ric Griffin.

"Looks like he's got the right idea" whispered Jonny, nodding towards the empty seat beside Tess. Tess couldn't help but smile at the cheeky Scot, who hated these meetings just as much as she did.

"Right, now everyone's here, shall we begin?!" bellowed Guy from the end of the table. The chatter ceased abruptly, and as his gaze travelled round the table, he suddenly noticed the empty chair beside Tess. Guy looked across at Colette, who pretended to be absorbed the agenda, and raised his eyebrows, questioningly.

"...Family emergency" Colette explained after a hesitant pause, and smiled weakly back at Guy.

"How convenient" Guy muttered.

Guys voice faded dully into the background somewhere around discussing the increase in staffing budgets, as Tess' eyelids grew heavy. The lack of sleep over the past few weeks was taking its toll, and she was beginning to regret staying up all night to finish the report Guy barely even acknowledged.

"...And have you discussed this with Fletch?"

Guy looked pointedly across at Colette, pinning her with the famous glare.

"I..." Colette faltered as she shifted awkwardly in her seat. As far as she could tell, Tess hadn't shown any reaction to the mention of his name. What Guy was proposing made economic sense and she couldn't see any way of refusing, or disagreeing with it, even though people were likely to get hurt in the process. They were all professionals after all, and would have to find some way of dealing with it, and learn to move on and work together. She'd have to approach Fletch in her own way and in her own time, and attempt to limit the damage Guy Self stemmed intent on inflicting.

Jonny dropped his gaze and began to doodle absently on the corner of the page as they waited for Colette to speak.

"Yes." Replied Colette, more firmly this time, as she refused to look in Tess' direction.

"The ED and AAU have the same problem, it would make sense for the departments to work together"

"Well, I have no issue with it" Connie chimed in, as she sat back in her chair "it would definitely save money. Tess, are you in agreement?"

Connie's fixed her gaze on Tess, and her eyes widened expectantly as the room fell into a hushed silence.

Tess felt a sudden sharp jab against her arm and her eyelids flew open. As she pushed herself up in her seat, she realised with some chagrin, that she'd actually fallen asleep.

Guy cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Are we keeping you up, Sister Bateman?"

Connie bit her lip and looked down at the table, as she fought to stifle the laugh that threatened to escape.

"I...I haven't been sleeping well, that's all "Tess replied, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. "And the ED's been manic all week, you know how it is...lack of nurses..." Tess' voice faded away as she bowed her head, wanting at that moment to crawl inside of her own skin.

Guy rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he regarded the Clinical Nurse Manager.

"I see" he mused, looking round the table. " if that's the case, then I take it you're in agreement?"

He raised an eyebrow as he looked back at Tess, and looking for some sort of inspiration, she glanced beside her at Jonny. He tipped his head forwards, answering her plea for help

"Yes" Tess smiled, clasping her hands together on the table "Completely"

"Excellent. I will leave you and Connie to liase with the AAU staff, and keep me up to speed with your progress"

Connie and Tess nodded in unison as Guy proceeded to the next point on the agenda.

Tess let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding and turned to Jonny, mouthing a silent 'thank you'. Jonny responded with a wink and they both turned their attentions back to the meeting, as Ric Griffin addressed the room.

Keeping her eyes fixed on the AAU Lead Consultant, Colette rested her arms on the table and slid surreptitiously towards Guy.

"What are you playing at?" She hissed, her eyes darkening underneath her unruly fringe.

Guy plastered on a sickly smile, his eyes never leaving the face of Ric Griffin.

"I have no idea what you mean"

"This isn't a game, Guy." Colette whispered, glancing across at Tess. "This is dangerous. People could get hurt"

Guys smile slowly faded as he glanced at Colette, and looking into her glistening, dark brown eyes, full of sadness and hurt, he could tell it wasn't just Tess she was talking about.

It was her.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten. Revolving doors. Part 2

Guy Self truly was a master in how to protract the most straightforward of meetings, but this time, he'd managed to surpass even himself. Today he'd managed a personal best, and Tess was feeling every one of the three hours and fifteen minutes she'd spent sitting on the worlds most uncomfortable chair.

A hum of activity signalled the much anticipated end, and Tess gratefully rose from her seat along with the others, gently massaging the kinks that had worked their way into her neck.

"You have absolutely no idea what you've agreed to, do you?" Jonny grinned, raising his voice over the myriad of scraping chairs. Tess smiled as Darwin's Clinical Nurse Manager pressed himself against the wall, to allow Serena and Colette to squeeze past.

"Not really" Tess admitted, a little sheepishly "although I've no doubt Connie will fill me in later"

"You know, I'm not sure I signed up for all of this" Jonny commented, gesturing around the room, as staff began to file out of the meeting.

"What?"

"This." Jonny reiterated "Meetings, paperwork, budgets-"

He let out a groan and grimaced at the sheer thought of it all.

"It comes with the job"

"I know that, but I wish we could just treat patients the good old fashioned way, without all this... Bureaucracy" Jonny grumbled, emphasising the last word in his thick Scottish drawl.

"Don't we all" Tess shuffled backwards towards the open door, vaguely aware of Colette's admonishing tones out in the corridor.

**"Where the hell have you been! You owe me mister. Don't you ever put me in that position again, and you need to get out of here, like, now. The two people you want to see the least will be coming through that door any minute-"**

"Sometimes it feels like you're stuck in a revolving door-"

A deep, calming voice in response to Colette's very public rebuke, teased at the edge of Tess' hearing, causing her to stop abruptly in her tracks. She strained to hear the hushed conversation, and although her ears were filled with the sound of her own hammering heart, she could just about make out one, very warm, very familiar voice. She'd know that blokeish charm anywhere, the voice that brought a smile to her face, that had her quivering like a wreck, and it was one she never, ever thought she'd hear again.

**"I couldn't help it Col, you know that. And thanks for covering for me, you're a darlin'**

"TESS!"

Tess visibly jumped as Connie's voice pounded through her ears, and before she could stop herself, She darted out into the corridor, her eyes searching out the owner of the voice. She wanted, no, needed to see him; tell him she was sorry for everything, and that she was wrong to push him away. She needed to see those beautiful green eyes, that caressed her soul when they looked at her, she longed for him to grasp her hand, the way he did all those months ago when she lay battered and bruised in Resus, and tell her everything was going to be fine. She needed to tell him she loved him, with every, single bone in her body.

The corridor was empty.

Tess glanced around for a second, attempting to convince herself that she really wasn't going mad, and the voice she'd heard wasn't a figment of her already over active imagination.

A flash of blue scrubs disappearing round a corner caught the edge of Tess' peripheral vision, and she resolutely tried to ignore the burgeoning hope making it difficult for her to breathe. Slowly, she took a faltering step forward.

"Tess!"

The sound of Connie's clipped tones had Tess back-pedalling, and as she looked back over her shoulder at the deserted corridor, the horrible, sinking feeling deep down in the pit of her stomach was enough for Tess to know that she was indeed hearing things, and was more sleep deprived than she'd realised.

"Are you okay?"

Connie appeared beside her, her immaculately shaped eyebrows knitted together in a frown as she watched Tess staring blankly at the empty corridor.

Tess turned, and forced a smile

"I'm fine" she replied, unconvincingly. "I just thought I saw...never mind" she finished, with a small shake of her head. "What did you want to speak to me about?"

Tess placed her palms on the small of her back as she looked up at the Clinical Lead expectantly.

" what we talked about a few days ago. I just wondered if you'd had a chance to speak to Charlie about retirement yet?" Connie asked with a well practiced smile.

Tess bowed her head as she searched for the right words.

"I know it makes sense- it's just finding the right time"

"No time like the present" Connie replied, as Tess' deep brown eyes met hers. With a slight nod, Connie turned and strode down the corridor, leaving Tess alone with her thoughts.

...

The Ringmaster...

In the three hours Tess had been gone, the ED had turned into nothing short of a three-ring circus. Rita careered after Trypanophobe Brian as he made a bid for freedom, and in cubicles, Ash struggled in vain to treat a screaming six year old with a crayon stuck in his ear.

Tess exited her office, spending the last forty five minutes procrastinating about how to broach the subject of retirement with Charlie. If the truth be told, it was a conversation she really didn't want to have. Charlie was one of the best nurses, and friend, she'd ever had the fortune of working with, and she knew deep down Charlie was irreplaceable. With Fletch gone, they couldn't afford to lose him, yet here she was, siding once again with Connie, letting herself be talked into something she really didn't believe in. Zoe was right. She was weak.

A loud cry from across the department pulled Tess sharply from her thoughts, and as her gaze wandered across reception, she suddenly became aware of the source of the outburst.

Louise was attempting to deal with a large group of rowdy, extremely muddy rugby players, each with varying degrees of injury, huddled around reception. As Tess neared the group, the yelled insults became louder, and the tallest of the group, a muscular, dark haired man jabbed his finger forcefully into the chest of his opposing number.

"And I'm saying you did it on purpose!" He yelled, in a strong, Aussie accent

"I did not! He ran into me!"

The blonde haired players reply, only incensed the others further. The group closed the gap, pushing and shoving each other as the argument began to escalate.

"Oi!" Louise shouted above the noise "those of you that need treatment need to register!"

Louise's voice was drowned out in the melee and Tess pushed her small frame in between the sea of bodies as they continued to throw insults, growing rowdier by the second.

"THATS ENOUGH!" Tess yelled, holding out her arm to keep the warring sportsmen apart "This is a hospital! Not a Zoo! There are genuinely sick people here, and if you continue to behave like animals in my department, I WILL call security!"

The arguing ceased abruptly, and the players glanced at each other, some smirking, some looking sheepishly down at the floor.

" Do I make myself absolutely clear?!" Tess asked, glaring wide eyed at the ringleader- the tall, athletic, handsome Australian, who regarded the dark haired nurse with avid curiosity.

They mumbled their apologies, and shuffled off to wait patiently in triage, sitting down on opposite ends of the empty row, their arms folded across their expansive chests.

" Thanks, Tess" Louise sighed, as the ED finally reached a sense of decorum. "Is it me, or is the ED filled with complete and utter-"

"I don't suppose any of you have seen Charlie?" Tess asked, cutting Louise off mid rant as she shuffled through a pile of patient notes.

"Last I saw he was on his way up to X-Ray" Louise told her

They all looked up as The doors of the ED swung open and Jeff and Tamzin strode through.

"You take Resus" he instructed, placing a hand on her back " and I'll take cubicles. She can't have gone far"

Tamzin nodded and hurried off towards Resus, the blondes pony tail swinging from side to side as she went.

Jeff stood in the middle of the ED, one hand on his hip and the other rubbing his jaw, as he looked beleagueredly around the department wondering where on earth he was going to start.

" Everything okay?" Tess asked, appearing by Jeff's side.

Jeff exhaled deeply and fixed his piercing blue eyes on the nurse, a small, painful smile teasing the corners of his lips.

"Ah, Mrs Barbieri's taken a wander" Jeff explained, rubbing the back of his short cropped hair

"Again?!" Tess asked, her brown eyes widening. She turned away, scanning cubicles for any sign of the flame haired hippy, that had become something of a regular in the ED over the last few months.

"Yeah, her neighbour found her wandering around the streets" Jeff said, gesturing with his hand "she had a small abrasion to her forehead, and seemed confused, me and Tams decided to bring her in to get checked out"

Tess nodded

"Don't worry, we'll find her" Tess smiled, earning herself a wink from the paramedic.

"Thanks" Jeff mouthed, squeezing her shoulder gratefully.

"Lofty!" Tess called, spotting the dark haired nurse over by reception. Lofty bounded eagerly across triage, narrowly avoiding a small child with a remote controlled car, sat in the middle of the floor.

"Mrs Barbieri's wandered off again." Tess told him, pointing across the room " I want you and Robyn to search cubicles-"

" Looking for someone?" Came Big Macs thick welsh accent, as his bulky frame pushing through the doors, accompanied by a flame haired woman in her mid forties, wearing a billowing green skirt and blue blouse, and the most brightly coloured earrings Tess had ever seen.

"Where'd you get to, Princess?" Jeff asked, his blue eyes twinkling. The woman shrugged, and turned to walk back out of the doors.

"Oh, no, no, no" Tess said, placing both hands on her shoulders and guiding her towards a waiting Wheelchair.

"Lofty, Robyn, take her to cubicle three please"Tess instructed, gently manoeuvring her down into the chair. She looked back up at her nurses, and gazed at them intently. "Order a head CT...And whatever you do, DO NOT let her out of your sight!"

"Understood" Lofty nodded, as Robyn grabbed the wheelchair and pushed a protesting Mrs Barbieri towards cubicles.

As Tess turned back towards reception, something caught her eye. She could see the reflection of a pair of dark blue scrubs through the glass in the doors, with a binder tucked snugly under one armpit.

Drawn like a moth to a flame, Tess inched forwards, unable to tear her gaze away from the fuzzy form on the other side of the doors, which was becoming clearer with every step she took.

Her eyes widened as he cocked his head to one side, and suddenly found she couldn't breathe, as she recognised the familiar mannerism, the familiar stoop when he spoke. Her gaze travelled down his long, slender neck, coming to rest on the hollow at the base, where it curved seamlessly into his broad, muscular shoulders. He looked different, Tess wasn't sure if it was the athletic physique or the lightly bronzed complexion, but the dark shadow of stubble that defined his strong, masculine jaw only accentuated his older, more rugged appearance. His luscious head of dark brown hair, slicked back into its usual style, deliciously teased the smooth contours at the nape of his neck. Every dip and curve of his perfect body had been etched permanently into her mind, and even with the overwhelming exhaustion gripping at her like a vice, she knew the person on the other side of the door was not an illusion or a figment of her imagination. He was real, and as she placed her palm on the cold metal of the door, Tess' heart threatened to explode through her chest as she realised the love of her life was standing so close, she could almost reach out and touch him. She'd played this moment, over and over again in her mind, what she would say, do or feel if she ever saw him again.

She was about to find out.

"TESS!"

Tess jumped and whirled around at the sound of her name, her heart still hammering urgently against her ribs. The click of Zoe's Louboutins came as an unwelcome distraction, and when she cast her gaze back through the glass, Fletch had gone.

Zoe strode towards her, her mobile clamped firmly against her ear as Tess rubbed absently at the top of her chest in an effort to regain her composure.

Zoe frowned at the flushed, flustered appearance of her colleague as Tess looked despondently around the ED, and despite their very public argument the previous day, Zoe couldn't help but worry.

"Is everything alright, Tess?" Zoe asked, moving her mobile away from her ear as she brushed her errant hair back into place.

"Everything's fine, Zoe" Tess snapped, her fingertips brushing across her chest as her hand fell onto her narrow hip. "What is it?"

"I wanted to talk to you about a patient, Mr Harker ? I thought he was being moved upstairs?"

"So?" Tess asked irritably, with a slight shake of her head.

"Well he's still in cubicles." Zoe told her, gesturing over her shoulder. "He's been there almost three hours"

"I'll deal with it" Tess replied curtly, causing Zoe's frown to deepen.

"Tess, are you sure you're okay?"

"I said I'm fine" Tess huffed, before swivelling on her heel and marching off down the corridor.

She'd almost reached the stairs, when she saw Max, lounging against the wall gossiping and laughing with another porter.

"Max!" She barked, bristling at his apparent bone idleness. Max stood up straight as Tess approached, his wide grin quickly fading as he caught a glimpse of thunderous look that had set across her features.

"The one and only" he beamed, attempting the lighten the mood with a bit of humour. The ever darkening expression on Tess' face told him, evidently, that was the wrong response.

"Can you tell me why Mr Harker is still in cubicles?" She demanded, folding her arms across her chest and tapping her fingers impatiently on the top of her arm.

"I...thought Louise told you?" Max replied, pointing his finger towards reception

"What?"

"Apparently Mr Harker doesn't meet the criteria"

"What criteria?!" Tess spat, incredulously

"Hey. Tess." Max held up his hands . "You know that's waaayyyyy beyond my pay grade-"

Max had barely finished his sentence, when Tess turned and stormed towards reception, intent on getting to the bottom of this ridiculous fiasco.

"Louise" Tess began, resting her hands on the desk. "What's going on with Mr Harkers bed?"

"Your guess is as good as mine" came Louise's muffled reply as she rooted around underneath the desk.. "Someone promised to ring me back. That was three hours ago"

Louise popped up from behind the desk and placed the stack of patient files she'd been searching for, in front of Tess.

" If you want some heads knocking together, just say the word-"

"If you want something done.." Tess muttered to herself, as she reached over the desk and pulled the phone towards her. Tess shoved her free hand into the pocket of her scrubs to retrieve the scribbled phone number of the AAU Ward Manager, and determined to give this incompetent buffoon a large piece of her mind, as well as a few pointers on how to run a department, she carefully dialled the number.

Tess waited patiently for the call to connect, and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a dishevelled looking Rita rounding the desk, thumping her elbows down on the surface as she buried her fingers in her tousled locks.

Tess' eyes widened in shock at the usually vivacious nurse, her appearance hollow and drawn and couldn't help but notice the fresh, neatly applied bandage around her hand.

"What happened to your hand?" Tess asked, her curiosity piqued.

Rita looked up at her boss, her eyes blinking wearily.

"It was an accident" Rita explained, her gaze dropping back to her notes "it's nothing"

"I hardly think it's nothing. I don't know what's going on with all of you lately" Tess tutted in disgust.

Rita's head snapped up and glared at Tess

"Well, maybe if you got off everyone's backs-"

Tess' hand slipped over the receiver as she regarded the nurse with some consternation.

"It's my job to be on everyone's back" Tess retorted, turning her attention back to the call as Robyn and Lofty rushed side by side up to reception.

"Tess!"

Tess moved the phone away from her ear, her gaze drawn to their flushed and ruddy cheeks.

"I thought you were taking Mrs Barbieri up to CT?"

"Er...Slight problem with that" Lofty replied, glancing nervously at Robyn.

_'Hi. You've reached the voicemail of Adrian Fletcher...'_

Tess looked at Robyn, then at Lofty as the pair huddled together, looking nothing short of terrified.

"Why?" Tess asked

_I'm sorry I can't get to the phone right now..."_

"She's gone" Robyn piped up, dropping her arms emphatically against her side.

_'But if you'd like to leave a message after the tone..."_

"What do you mean, gone?"

Robyn and Lofty glanced at each other.

_"I'll get back to you as soon as I can"_

"I only turned my back for a minute!" Robyn whimpered meekly, taking a step behind Lofty as she spoke.

"For heavens sake Robyn!" Tess gasped , rolling her eyes at her inept subordinates. "What the hell do I pay you for!"

The beeping sound on the end of the phone, momentarily halted Tess' tirade, hauling the nurses attention back to the receiver hanging limply in her hand.

"Yes, Hi." She began, clamping the phone back to her ear "This is Tess Bateman from the ED-"

Tess spoke in a firm, authorative voice, suddenly feeling something of the old Tess beginning to re surface.

"My patient has been waiting over three hours for a bed. This is totally unacceptable. Could you call me back as a matter of urgency?...please?...Thank you."

Tess slammed the receiver back in its cradle, and hurried off after her junior nurses, initiating a search for their missing patient.


	11. Chapter 11 Revolving Doors Part 3

After half an hour of an all out, full scale search, Max finally located Helen Barbieri in the linen cupboard, buried under a mountain of blankets, clutching a bottle of vodka and singing tunelessly along to the chorus of Last Christmas that blasted out from someone's IPhone across the ED.

"It's flippin' September" Max grumbled, as he walked beside Zoe back to reception. "Christmas songs...really?"

Zoe smiled as she handed Louise her patient notes.

"Oh, come on Max. Where's your Christmas spirit?" she giggled, giving his chin a tweak as she left. Max leant back against the desk, resting his elbows on the surface as he watched Zoe stride off down the corridor in her six inch stilettos. A small smile teased at the corners of his lips as his gaze travelled down to her shapely behind, accentuated by the tight fitting, black A-Line dress she wore.

"Dream on, mate" Noel commented, his head buried in a drawer "She's way out of your league"

Max glanced over his shoulder and spun around on his tiptoes, folding his arms across the desk.

"What was that, again?" Max asked, grinning sarcastically.

Noel looked up from the drawer

"You've got as much chance with her, as I have with Cheryl Cole" Noel said, jabbing a finger towards Max. "Best admired from a distance, if you ask me"

Max stood on his tiptoes and leaned over the desk to get closer to Noel.

"Not that I'm a betting man, but a tenner says I can pull Doctor Hanna"

Louise, Noel, and Robyn all stopped what they were doing, and looked up at Max.

"You- you can't be serious?" Noel asked, pushing the drawer shut with his midriff.

Max's smile quickly disappeared and he stared straight at Noel.

"Does this look the face of a man who's joking?"

Max pointed with both hands to his deadpan face, in an effort to emphasise his point.

"Okay, you're on!" Noel beamed, reaching over the desk as he thought about the fact he was about to become ten pounds richer.

As the two men shook hands, Max smiled at the thought of the easiest tenner he'd ever made.

...

Tess had always been the epitome of the nursing profession, and with her persuasive skills and patience pushed to the absolute limit, Tess had finally managed to get Mrs. Barbieri up to CT.

Tess trudged wearily down the stairs, back into the department, and as she headed towards her office, she saw Charlie staring up at the board, his hand rubbing the back of his head.

"Charlie?"

Charlie swung round and smiled at the Nurse Manager

"Are you okay?" She asked with a frown.

"Ummm...Have you any idea what I did with Mr Fishers blood results?" He asked.

Tess hesitated for a moment.

"You sent them up to the ward" she told him, as a look of relief settled across Charlie's face

"Course I did" he grinned.

Tess opened her mouth to speak, but a squeal from behind reception diverted her attention. When she looked back, Charlie had vanished.

"Robyn, Lofty..my office. Now!" Tess demanded, finally running out of patience.

Tess sat in her office, drumming her fingers anxiously on the desk as she waited for Robyn and Lofty to drag themselves in. She was furious they'd ignored her explicit instruction not to let Mrs Barbieri out of their sight, but honestly, Tess was more annoyed at herself.

Once again, she was taking her sour mood out on everybody else, and soon she wouldn't have a nurse left in the department.

Tess wasn't sure at what point her grief had turned to simmering anger, or the reasons why she felt the way she did. Fletch had saved her life and had put her feelings first, even if meant hurting his own.

Tess glanced up as Robyn knocked softly on the door.

"Come in-"

The door opened, and Robyn and Lofty shuffled through, their eyes looking anywhere but at Tess.

Tess folded her hands on the desk, as she thought about what to say.

"You know why you're both here" Tess began, keeping her voice even as she looked up at them.

They both nodded, sullenly.

"I don't have to tell you how disappointed I am. I expressly told you to keep an eye on a patient, and you let her wander off. Anything could've happened"

"But it didn't" Lofty answered back "We found her didn't we?"

"More through luck than judgement!" Tess exclaimed, her irritation growing. "Could you imagine what would've happened if Max hadn'tve found her when he did? It was incredibly naive, unprofessional and just plain stupid!"

"That's not fair, Tess" Lofty said quietly, glancing at Robyn who fought back her tears. "Yes, maybe we should have kept a closer eye on her-" Lofty paused as his gaze locked with Tess'

"A patient collapsed in the ambulance bay. We couldn't just leave her"

Tess sneer quickly evaporated as she saw the tears filling Robyn's eyes.

"A patient? What happened?"

"She died in ICU, half an hour ago" Lofty told her sadly. "She'd taken an overdose of prescription painkillers."

Tess glanced away and took a deep breath as she fiddled with the pen between her fingers.

"I didn't know that" Tess said quietly, looking back up at her nurses.

Lofty rolled back his shoulders and glanced at Robyn, who quickly brushed away the tear that had escaped down her cheek.

"Maybe you should have asked"

Lofty's words stung, but she knew deep down he was right.

"Come on, Robyn" she heard Lofty whisper, as she thought about the person she'd become. She never once thought she'd feel this way when Fletch had left. It was a relief at first, that she didn't have to pretend anymore; pretend that she didn't care, pretend that she didn't love him just to get through each day and pretend that she was over him. She thought she'd be able to move on and rebuild her life, just as she had when Mike had left.

Tess looked up as her office door closed, and immediately promised herself she'd go easier on Robyn and Lofty. They were good nurses and good, honest people, and definitely didn't deserve to be treated the way they had.

With a heavy sigh, Tess grabbed her paperwork and half heartedly began to finish Tash's appraisal, with thoughts of Fletch still rooted firmly in the back of her mind.

...

Tess wandered into the staff room, desperate for some caffeine. She'd spent the last hour finishing off the appraisals, and the ED had finally quietened down, enough for Tess to grab a spare five minutes to herself.

Tess flicked on the kettle and spooned out some coffee into an empty mug. Tess leaned against the counter as she waited for the kettle to boil, and as she did so, she noticed a leaflet lying on top of the microwave about the new NHS pension scheme. Curiosity getting the better of her, Tess began to leaf through the contents as she poured boiling water into her mug, and still absorbed in the information, Tess carried her mug over to the table, reading about the benefits the new scheme could offer.

"Great minds think alike" came a voice from behind her, as she slid into the seat. Tess looked over her shoulder and smiled at Charlie, as he made himself a mug of tea and sat beside Tess at the table.

"Wouldn't it be great if we could put our feet up like this all the time?" Charlie chuckled, taking a sip of his scalding tea.

"Chance would be a fine thing" Tess smiled, pushing the leaflet towards Charlie "have you seen this ?"

Charlie silently took the leaflet from Tess and scanned his eye down the cover.

"The new NHS pension scheme" Tess continued, pointing at the words on the front. "It allows you to reduce your hours, bit by bit"

Tess wrapped her hands around the mug and lifted it towards her lips, taking a hesitant sip as she surveyed Charlie over the rim.

"And you're giving this to me, why?-" Charlie asked, his eyes narrowing on Tess.

Tess sighed and lowered her mug to the table.

"We've noticed you've not been yourself lately. Maybe it's time to think about putting your feet up? Get a hobby?" Tess suggested

Charlie took a deep, steadying breath before he responded.

"A hobby?!...Has Connie put you up to this?" Charlie asked, glaring at Tess intently.

"No, not at all" Tess replied, holding up her hands.

"I don't believe you. At least have the decency to be honest"

Tess opened her mouth to respond, but as she saw the hurt that filled Charlie's eyes, she slowly closed it again in the knowledge that, this time, she'd gone too far.

"There's a reason why I haven't been myself" Charlie said, springing out of his chair. "Elliot says I've had a mild angina attack"

Tess eyes widened at the older nurses admission.

"An angina attack?" She asked worriedly, "Why didn't you say?!"

Charlie bent down and moved closer to Tess who remained seated, until his face was a few inches from hers. He couldn't believe this woman, after everything they'd been through, after eleven years working together, the person he trusted most, could betray him in the most callous way.

"You. should. have. asked!"

Charlie slammed the leaflet down in front of Tess and stormed out of the staff room, leaving behind his now lukewarm, mug of tea.

"Charlie!" Tess called after him, to no avail.

"CHARLIE!" Tess called, a little louder this time, but he still continued to ignore her pleas, slamming the door shut resolutely, behind him.

Abandoning her coffee, Tess jumped up and hurried out of the staff room after him.

Tess zipped up her Holby hoodie as she followed Charlie outside, desperate to get him to talk to her. She couldn't leave things the way they were, she had to get him to understand.

She found Charlie pacing up and down in the ambulance bay,with his hands behind his head, completely oblivious to the driving rain that had soaked through his scrubs.

Tess stepped sideways to allow a man, using his briefcase as a makeshift umbrella, to barrel through the entrance doors, seeking shelter from the elements. In the distance, a patient transport ambulance turned the corner, and slowly pulled up into the only vacant space.

"Charlie!" Tess yelled over the noise of the rain, and shoving her hands into her pockets, she jogged over to his side.

Tess reached up and touched his shoulder "Please come inside. You'll catch a death out here!"

"How long have we known each other?!" Charlie asked angrily, shrugging off her hand "It's bad enough how you treat the rest of the staff, but I thought at least you'd have some respect for me!"

"Charlie.. Calm down!" Tess urged wide eyed, as the raindrops slid down her face and nose.

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Charlie yelled, jabbing his finger towards Tess. "Ever since Fletch left, it's like you've been punishing everyone. It's NOT THEIR FAULT!"

"Charlie!" Tess hissed, glancing nervously over her shoulder at the several people walking past who'd turned to stare at them. "This is not the place!"

"I-!" The words died on his lips as a shooting pain seared through his chest. He grimaced and quickly rubbed his chest to get rid of the pain.

"Charlie?" Tess asked , her eyes widening as she noticed his sudden, ashen complexion. "Are you okay?"

Tess stepped forward and reached out to take his hand.

"I'm fine" Charlie snapped, still rubbing his chest "just indigestion."

"Are you sure?"

Charlie whipped his hand away and glared at Tess.

Tess nodded and bowed her head to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Charlie" she whispered, her voice barely audible

"So am I"

With a sad nod, Tess turned and walked back through the doors, leaving Charlie standing alone in the rain.

"There ya go, Amelia!" Fletch beamed, hoisting an umbrella high over the hunched, seventy nine year olds head as they shuffled out from the doors of the Wyvern Wing, towards the waiting patient transport ambulance."and you haven't even ruined your hairdo!"

Amelia flashed Fletch a gummy grin as he helped the frail old lady into the ambulance.

"You're a good boy" Amelia smiled, patting Fletch on the arm "just like my Jimmy-"

"Now you look after yourself, Lovely" Fletch replied, handing Amelia her walking stick. "I don't wanna see you back here unless you're bringing cake and chocolate!"

Amelia closed her bony, arthritic fingers around the wooden cane and slowly lowered her fragile body into the seat.

"I will" she replied, returning Fletchs smile. Fletch closed the doors with a wink and banged his free hand against them, signalling to the driver Amelia was ready to go. As he turned back towards the hospital, something across the road caught his eye. Fletch's smile slowly faded, and as he squinted through the rain, he could just about make out a familiar figure outside the ED.

"Charlie?" He frowned, taking a step forward, as he watched his former colleague pacing up and down, before coming slowly to a halt.

What happened next, passed by in a blur. Fletch wasn't ready for it, and certainly hadn't expected it, and pushed his skills and knowledge as a medic to the absolute limit. What was about to happen, would change his life forever.

Charlie backed against the wall as he felt the intense burning begin to radiate through his body. The air rushed out of his lungs as the crushing sensation intensified, and as he struggled for every, single breath, he knew this was it. Charlie clutched at his chest as the blackness descended, and as he felt the pain slowly ebbing away, the only sound he heard was the sound of his own body hitting the cold, wet ground.

Then, nothing. A silent darkness, like the world no longer existed.

"Charlie?!" Fletch croaked, as he watched Charlie drop to floor like a stone. "CHARLIE!"

Fletch dropped his umbrella and sprinted across the road, splashing through the muddy puddles that blocked his path.

He dropped to his knees beside his friend, placing two fingers against his neck as he searched for any signs of life.

"Charlie, can you hear me, mate?" Fletch asked loudly as he shifted position on the ground . "It's me, Fletch-"

The nurse fell silent as he listened for breathing

"No, don't you dare!" Fletch shouted, and as instinct kicked in, he pushed himself up on his knees and pumped down hard on Charlie's chest with both hands. He looked around in a blind panic, for someone, anyone, as he fought to keep his mentor alive

"I NEED SOME HELP OVER HERE!"

...

In the blink of an eye...,..

Tess stood behind the curtain in cubicle four, listening to the mindless chatter of the group of teenage boys gathered round their injured friend, as they reminisced about their night on the town. Tess injected his small head wound with lidocaine, and began to arrange her equipment on the trolley as her thoughts turned to Charlie.

He was right, she had been harsh with all of her nurses, and it had to stop. Today. It was because of Charlie they had all become the fantastic nurses they were, and it was about time she acknowledged their true worth.

Tess listened as she worked, her patient recounting the tale of his failed date, and smiled inwardly at the banter of the friends as hey offered him their condolences at being unceremoniously dumped on his birthday.

"Never mind, mate. Plenty more fish in the sea" one said, in his thick West Country accent.

"Yeah, she wasn't that fit, anyway"

"Right!" Smiled Tess as she lay down her equipment. "All done. And I suggest you stay away from table dancing in future"

"Thanks Sister" the patient smiled, as Tess removed her gloves. "Can I go home, now?"

"Of course, I'll sort your discharge forms out, but you have got a head injury, so you'll need someone with you for the next twenty four hours, just in case"

"That'll be me" piped up the patients brother, lifting his hand.

"Good, well you hang on here and I'll be right back with your discharge forms" Tess replied, pushing back the curtain.

Tess turned and cast her eye over her department with a well hidden contentment.

Over by reception, Zoe and Ethan stood by side, poring over the contents of a file laying open in the consultants hands, and Cal and Lofty flanked the parents of a young woman brought into Resus, explaining the extent of her injuries as they guided them towards the relatives room.

Day to day, Tess had experienced the precariousness of human life, seen happiness snatched away in the blink of an eye, but they had always managed to muddle through, together as a team. They all thrived off the uncertainty, of never knowing what was about to come through those doors.

"Tess? Have you seen Charlie?" Zoe frowned, snapping shut the file as she appeared beside Tess. "He was meant to be discharging Sylvia Rogers, but I can't seem to find him anywhere!"

"He must be still outside" Tess replied, gesturing towards the doors.

"You know, Half an hour before the end of the shift, I can't believe how quiet it is" Zoe smiled, making idle conversation as they walked towards the entrance.

"Famous last words" Tess replied "the last time you said that before the end of a shift, we had a building collapse and an RTC"

They exchanged a smile as Tess placed a hand on the door

"Listen, Zoe. About yesterday..."

"Look, Tess-" Zoe said, at exactly the same time. Neither got a chance to finish.

Zoe and Tess stumbled backwards as the doors flew open, and Jeff sprinted through with a trolley, flushed and panicked, shouting instructions to the nurse straddled over the patient. His hands pumped furiously down onto his chest, and even though an oxygen mask covered the lower half of his face, it took Zoe and Tess less than a second to realise the lifeless form on the trolley, was Charlie.

"Charlie!" Tess whispered, closing her hand around the rail of the trolley. As she looked down at the deathlike pallor of his face, Tess was so overwhelmed with grief, her voice escaped as nothing more that a strangled sob.

"Talk to me" Zoe demanded in her usual business -like manner, pushing her own grief aside as she chose to ignore the fact that she recognised the hero of the hour.

"He collapsed in the ambulance bay " a breathless Fletch told her as he continued compressions. "Started CPR immediately..at the scene... GCS is three ...He's been- unresponsive for ten minutes.."

Tess heard him, before she saw him. She'd been so caught up in Charlie's plight, she'd barely registered the medic that was using every ounce of strength and energy he possessed, to save Charlie's life. He was soaked to the skin, his dark brown hair matted to his forehead, his scrubs filthy from where he'd knelt on the muddy ground. But there was no mistaking the eyes that locked with hers, the eyes that were filled with love, fear and determination, all rolled into one.

"Right!" Zoe's voice boomed out over the pandemonium, as they burst through into Resus.

"Let's get him intubated, I want LFTs, FBC's and get an ECG, Lofty! Now!"

Lofty gave a brief nod and hurried out of Resus, exchanging a despairing glance with Robyn.

"Charlie?" Robyn breathed as she hurried to his bedside, along with Rita.

"Im in!" Ethan announced, whipping out the laryngoscope

"Right everyone!" Zoe said suddenly, leaning over the bed as she addressed her devastated staff. Resus fell silent, only the ominous rattle of the bed as Fletch continued chest compressions, could be heard over the unusual stillness. Rita bowed her head as Zoe began her speech.

"I know what we all must be feeling, but we owe it to Charlie to pull together-"

Fletch glanced up, catching Tess' gaze, as he worked.

at that moment, Tess didn't know what, or how to feel. There was nothing, nothing but numbness.

"We treat him like any other patient, he needs us. Let's get back to Work!"

"Zoe! He's in VF!" Rita announced, as she studied the ominous bleep of the heart monitor. Zoe slapped on the last Defib pads and turned on the machine.

"Okay, charging two hundred" she said in reply. "Clear!"

Fletch pulled his gloved hands away as Zoe delivered the shock. Tess flinched as Charlie's body jerked up off the bed, and she backed towards the doors, her hand gripping her throat.

"Resume compressions!"

Fletch immediately placed his hands on Charlies chest, and resumed compressions.

"Come on Charlie! Dammit!" Zoe muttered to herself as Rita shook her head sadly.

"Give him 1mg of adrenaline and we'll shock again!" Zoe announced as Rita rounded the bed. Tess placed her hand on Rita's arm and moved in front of her, injecting Charlie with the adrenaline.

"Charging three sixty- CLEAR!"

Fletch yanked his arms away as the defib delivered the shock, and Tess, Robyn and Rita watched in horror as Charlie's lifeless body thumped back down onto the bed.

"Ok" Zoe croaked, clearing her throat slightly as she spoke. " Hold compressions "

Slowly, Fletch removed his hands and looked up at Tess. Rita and Robyn bowed their heads as they listened to the continuous beep of the flatline on the monitor.

"A systole" Robyn whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"NO!" Fletch exclaimed suddenly, pushing his hands back down on Charlie's chest. "Not today, Charlie. You hear me? Not today!"

Zoe's eyes dropped to the floor as Fletch continued compressions, begging Charlie to fight.

"Fletch-" Tess' voice wobbled through the silence "...Adrian-"

Fletch stopped, his eyes filled with un shed tears, as he removed his hands from Charlie's chest. He'd done everything in his power and it still wasn't enough.

Tess grabbed a fistful of his scrubs and pulled him back from the bed, allowing her hand to linger for just a second longer than was necessary.

"I've got an output!" Rita exclaimed as the heart monitor sprung into life. Zoe whipped her stethoscope from around her neck and moved the diaphragm across Charlie's exposed chest.

"His BPs rising" Tess told her, as she fixed her eyes on the screen "He's almost back in normal sinus rhythm"

Tess looked up at Fletch, her eyes full of relief as Zoe pulled up the rails of the bed.

"Rita, I want you to call Elliot and tell him I'm bringing Charlie up NOW!" She instructed, as the young nurse nodded and hurried out of Resus.

Fletch puffed out his cheeks and was about to turn towards Tess to offer some sort of explanation, to explain why he hadn't told her he was coming back, when Zoe's voice, had him turning back towards the Consultant.

"Well done, Fletch" Zoe said quietly, as Ethan pushed Charlie out of Resus. "I think we can all be grateful that you were there, today"

Zoe looked round at the staff who all nodded in agreement, all except Tess, who stared down blankly, at the floor.

Zoe took a deep breath and looked back at Fletch.

"Welcome back" she said sincerely, glancing at Tess before following Ethan out of Resus.

Fletch nodded silently as Zoe left, desperately trying to get his head around what had just happened. It had all happened so quickly, he'd barely had a second to think about what this all meant. He'd just bulldozed his way back into Tess' life, and there was no way to ignore it.

"Tess-" he managed finally, his voice finding its way past the sudden dryness of his throat. He moved towards the love of his life, who was already backing away.

"I-I'm sorry" Tess mumbled, pressing her hot, clammy palms against the doors. "I've got patients that need-"

The words died on her lips as the overwhelming emotion that had been simmering inside, suddenly bludgeoned its way to the surface. Tess clamped her hand over her mouth and shook her head as she fought back the tears, and unable to look at the man that had consumed so much of her life any longer, she backed through the doors and hurried away as fast as her legs would carry her.

"Tess!" Fletch called, as he barrelled through the doors after her "Tess! Wait!"

Fletch broke into a jog, and finally catching up with her near reception, he reached out and grasped the crease in between her arm and elbow, spinning her round to face him.

"This is all my fault" Tess whispered, her eyes glazing over as she stared up at him.

Louise and Noel dropped their gaze, feeling like gatecrashers at a private party.

"No-" Fletch soothed, feeling Tess' hurt " No beautiful, course it's not"

Tess remained silent, feeling her heart shatter into tiny pieces.

" Come 'ere"

Before Tess could protest, Fletch moved forwards and wrapped his hand around Tess' neck, pulling her against him. His other arm slipped round her waist as Tess buried her head in his scrubs, sobbing silently against his chest. Neither knew how long they'd stood together, until the simple comfort of him holding her shifted into awareness, the scent of his aftershave, the way his hand stroked the back of her neck...

Tess eased back and as their eyes caught and held, Fletch leaned in and dropped a gentle kiss on her forehead, and for the first time in months, Tess finally felt whole.


	12. Chapter 12 Recriminations

Chapter Twelve. Recriminations. (Flashbacks are in bold) please R and R !

Chapter 12. Recrimination

Tess sat on the couch in the staff room, her hands folded in her lap as she stared down at a piece of fluff on the floor. She'd had absolutely no idea how long she'd been there, and really didn't care. All she wanted to know was the extent of Charlie's condition. The ED could survive a little longer without her.

Out of the corner of her eye, Tess saw Fletch approach, cup of tea in hand and he plopped down onto the couch next to her.

"Here-" he said, thrusting the mug of tea towards her.

Tess glanced at the mug and didn't move, instead turning her gaze back towards the floor.

Fletch took a deep breath and placed the mug of tea on the coffee table, turning his body slightly to face Tess.

"Look, Tess-" he began, bowing his head. He had so much he wanted to say to her, yet found himself lost for words.

"You saved his life" Tess murmured, causing Fletch to look up.

"Nah, anyone would've done the same thing" Fletch said with a half smile " I was just in the right place at the right time"

"You shouldn't be here" Tess said firmly, finally looking at him. Fletchs smile faded, as he realised he had a lot of explaining to do.

"I wanted to tell ya-" Fletch began, shuffling along the couch, towards her. "But I talked myself out of it, the more I thought about it. I'm sorry-"

"You said you'd leave" Tess replied, shaking her head. "Why are you here?"

"Guy offered me a job I couldn't refuse. I've got rent and child support to pay, I needed the money-"

Fletch rested his hand on the sofa and Tess glanced down, as it inched dangerously close to her leg. She felt her heart skip a beat at the notable absence of a wedding ring, and quickly looked back up at him.

"I guess I couldn't stay away" he finished, looking meaningfully at Tess.

" You didn't even call! Charlie, Connie and Zoe even knew before I did!"

Tess exclaimed, springing to her feet. "You could've at least have the decency-"

"Now you know how it feels!" Fletch replied, getting to his feet and squaring up to Tess.

"What are you talking about?!"

"Being kept in the dark- keeping secrets. Hurts doesn't it?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

Tess put her hands on her hips and looked away, biting her lip as she realised exactly what Fletch meant.

"It's not the same thing-"

"Will you listen to y'self?" Fletch screwed up his face and pointed his hand towards Tess "you're still taking the moral high ground, even now. Y'know what? Maybe I came back for closure!" He said, angrily.

"I don't understand" Tess replied with a frown.

Fletch folded his arms and pinned Tess with an uncharacteristic glare. Tess had never seen Fletch like this before, and it scared her.

"Maybe I want answers" Fletch leaned in, closer to Tess until she could feel his light breath against her lips.

"I want to know why you got rid of my... our baby"

Fletch's harsh words cut through Tess' heart like a knife, and all the pain, grief and self hatred she'd been smothering, reopened like an old wound.

"That's none of your business!" Tess hissed, her dark eyes widening.

"Yeah, it is!" He replied, his voice rising by an octave "because I loved you!-"

" It was wrong!" Tess shot back. "You were married, that's why! What we did to Natalie, your kids, each other-"

Tess lifted her head to look into his eyes

"I couldntve coped on my own-"

Their heads snapped up as the door opened, and an unsuspecting agency nurse sidled through.

"Not Now!" They yelled simultaneously, Tess' voice a little louder than his. The poor nurse stared at them in shock, before turning and scurrying out of the staff room.

Tess took several deeps breaths in an effort to smother her anger, as Fletch leaned back against the counter, his arms folded across his chest. They lapsed into an uncomfortable silence, as they both attempted to get a hold of their emotions.

Fletch looked up, his eyes misting over

"Tess, you're the strongest, most capable woman I know. You can cope with anything thrown at ya-" Fletch paused " Besides, you wouldn'tve been alone" he finished quietly.

His admission was too much for Tess' fragile emotions to handle.

Tess shook her head, blinking her eyelashes to hide the tears. She didn't want Fletch to see how much everything still hurt. She failed dismally. He'd always been able to see right through her, and she hated being so vulnerable.

"I can't do this now" she stammered, taking a step backwards. "I think you should leave-"

"No!" Fletch took a step towards her "I'm not going anywhere 'til we sort this"

"I've got patients-" Tess said, her dark eyes pleading with him to let the subject drop.

"They can wait! Tess- please!" He almost begged, as Tess opened the door.

"AND I SAID NO!"

Tess covered her mouth, horrified at her outburst. She'd never, in her whole life, lost control like this.

Fletch grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him, and as he looked down at her, her cheeks flushed with righteous indignation, he thought he'd never loved her more than he did at that moment. Losing his own internal debate, he clutched her cheeks and kissed her hard, his own feelings of grief, anger and self recrimination, bludgeoning their way to the surface.

For a fleeting moment, Tess was frozen in shock. This man wasn't Fletch; it wasn't his familiar gentle, loving kiss she craved, it was rushed, forceful and rough, almost desperate. It was like she didn't know him at all.

"No!" Tess twisted her body against his, before she shoved him away and whipped her hand firmly across his cheek.

"You have no right!"

The pair stood and stared at each other in a stunned silence, neither knowing what to say.

"You're right. Guess I deserved that" he mumbled, rubbing his stinging cheek.

Tess turned and stormed out of the staff room in a simmering rage, with Fletch close on her heels.

"Tess!-"

The nurse stopped abruptly, as she saw Zoe trudge wearily down the stairs, and attempted to ignore Fletch as he appeared by her side. Zoe gave the pair an exhausted smile as she reached them.

"How's Charlie?" Tess asked, as Fletch looked at the Consultant, wide eyed.

"He's out of surgery. He's stable , but he's not out of the woods yet" Zoe explained, exchanging her files she carried into her other hand. She frowned as she looked at Fletch, then back at Tess as she saw their rigid, awkward postures and the slight rosy tint to Fletch's left cheek.

"Is everything okay?"

Fletch shifted awkwardly on the spot as Tess turned to look at him.

"Everything's fine" Tess replied, crossing her arms and squeezing them tightly "Fletch was just leaving"

Fletch shoved his tongue into his cheek, in an effort to stop himself from saying something he might regret.

"Okay, well I'd better get back before Connie has a tantrum" Zoe said, her smile brightening a little. "Thanks again Fletch, for everything you did. It's good to see you back"

Zoe glanced at Tess as she walked past Fletch, tapping a file lightly against his arm, in encouragement.

Fletch glanced around before he leaned towards Tess

"I never meant for it to be like this" he said, sadly

"It was always going to be like this!"

Tess turned to walk away, but Fletch's voice had her turning back to face him.

Fletch exhaled deeply through his clenched teeth, and pointed his finger gently towards Tess.

"You know I still love you, right?"

He lowered his hand, waiting for Tess' reply.

"I don't feel the same way, anymore" Tess replied, more firmly and more certain than she had the first time he'd declared his love for her in this same corridor. "I've moved on"

Her dark eyes flickered across his face

"So should you"

With that, Tess turned and strode down the corridor, shoving open the double doors that swung back furiously in her wake.

Standing alone, Fletch raised his arm and slapped them against his side in annoyance. A wry, bitter smile worked its way onto his face as he walked away, not quite believing the words that had come of Tess' mouth, yet again in denial of her true feelings.

A huff of disbelief escaped his lips, a humourless laugh at the fact Tess had again brushed him off, discarded him in the way she had. This time, he wasn't going to give up so easily. He knew how she truly felt, and feelings as intense, as real as theirs, didn't just vanish overnight.

"Fletch!"

Robyn's voice pulled Fletch away from his thoughts, and his grinned broadly as she bounded up to the man she loved like an older brother.

"You're back!"

She flung her arms around his neck and he hugged her tightly.

"Like I said darlin' , always leave 'em wanting more" he chuckled, pulling back from her embrace.

"How's Charlie?" Robyn asked, her eyes wide with concern.

"Hanging in there. You know Charlie, he's as tough as old boots, that one"

Robyn nodded, slightly comforted by Fletch's words.

"You saved his life-" Robyn said, looking up at him in awe. "You're a hero!"

"Nah" Fletch replied,waving his hand dismissively. "I'm nobody's hero. Trust me"

The left hand corner of his mouth twitched upwards in a feeble attempt at his usual cheeky grin.

"Well you're a hero to me" Robyn smiled, squeezing his hand. "Whatever Tess says..."

"Yeah, well, I'd better get back before Colette and Mr Self have a meltdown" Fletch chuckled, hastily changing the subject

"You're coming to pub later though, right? Have a drink for Charlie?" Robyn asked, hopefully

"Yeah, course" Fletch nodded "Wouldn't miss it. I'll see you later"

Fletch walked towards the stairs

"Fletch-"

"Yeah?" He asked, turning round to look at Robyn.

"I'm glad you're back"

Fletch grinned, and gave Robyn at wink before bounding up the stairs, two at a time, back to AAU.

...

Fletch gazed through the window at the patient lying peacefully in the bed. He'd been standing in exactly the same spot for the past ten minutes, trying to work up the courage to go in, but every time he took a step forward, he lost his nerve and ended up back where he started. He was used to seeing these situations, day in day out, but this was different. Charlie was his friend and mentor and Fletch wasn't quite sure how or what to feel. He was so used to seeing Charlie so full of life, the engine of the ED, and the person lying in front of him seemed to be a different man entirely. His face was devoid of colour, almost as white as his hair, and his body was surrounded by a vast array of tubes and wires, meandering up to a ventilator that was helping him breathe.

Blinking back the tears that pricked at the corner of his eyes, Fletch took a deep breath, and steeling his nerve, he pushed down on the door handle and took a few hesitant steps inside the room.

A gentle hum of voices outside in the corridor, greeted Fletchs ears as the AAU continued on as normal, and with a glance over his shoulder, Fletch closed the door behind him.

He made his way over to the bed, and rested his fingertips on the crisp, white sheets. Charlie was eerily still, only the rhythmic bleep of the heart monitor gave any indication that the nurse was still alive, and suddenly, he felt a pang of grief ,as his eyes travelled to the mouthpiece that covered most of the lower half of his face.

Fletch gently rested his hand on top of Charlie's. His skin was cold to the touch, and he glanced up at the heart monitor, following the peaks and valleys with his eyes, just to reassure himself that Charlie was still with them, still hanging on.

"Charlie-" Fletch began, his voice escaping as more of a croak. He cleared his throat and smiled to himself.

"I feel like an idiot!" Fletch said, as he turned away and quickly wiped his eyes . "And I know what you would be saying right now-" he flung over his shoulder, as he adjusted Charlie's IV "you'd be calling me a silly sod or something for worrying-"

Fletch's voice trailed off as he turned back to the bed and stared down at Charlie.

"Keep fighting, Charlie. Don't give up, mate. Everyone's praying for ya-"

"Fletch?-"

The nurse jumped and swung around to see Colette framed in the doorway, her hand resting on the handle.

" I heard what happened. Are you okay?" She asked, walking up beside him.

Fletch nodded

" I'll survive" he replied, attempting a bit of humour. "Although Charlie here, had other ideas-"

Fletch felt Colette's hand on his shoulder, and he was grateful of the comforting squeeze.

"You saved his life" Colette said softly " it's up to Charlie now-"

Fletch nodded, and covered Colette's hand with his own.

"Thanks, Col-" he smiled, twisting round to face her.

"What are friends for?" Colette asked, returning his smile. She swallowed the lump in her throat and reluctantly reclaimed her hand from Fletch's shoulder.

"You know what you need? " she asked brightly " Cocktails"

"Cocktails?" Fletch asked, confused

" Yep, and if you get ready now, we might still make it-"

Fletch looked down at Colette, a look of sheer confusion set across his features. It took him a moment to realise Colette was no longer in her scrubs. She wore a pair of dark blue, boot cut jeans with the flowing, floral tunic top she'd bought the other day. Her hair was pinned up in a French twist, with a soft, elegant tendril gently caressing her cheek, and a light coating of eyeliner and mascara accentuated her beautiful, brown eyes.

"You promised me dinner-" Colette clarified, hugging her bag against her side.

"Yeah at Marios!" Fletch exclaimed, closing his eyes in exasperation "Col, I'm sorry, I completely forgot!"

"Well if you get a move on-" Colette's words died on her lips as she noticed the pained expression on Fletch's face

"What?"

"I sort of promised I'd go across the road- have a drink for Charlie."

Fletch had promised Robyn after all, and he and Colette hadn't made firm plans, had they? They were trying to keep things casual. No pressure. He caught sight of the crestfallen look on Colette's face, and he knew he couldn't let her down.

"Nah, it's alright. I don't have to go. How could I turn down a night on the town with a beautiful woman-" he grinned, giving her a playful nudge.

Colette stared down at Charlie

"Go" Colette murmured

"Eh?"

"Go" she repeated, looking up at him." I know what Charlie means to you. We'll do it another night"

"You sure?"

"Positive" Colette replied, plastering on a fake smile.

"Collywobble, you're amazing" Fletch replied with a grin " I promise I'll make it up to you tomorrow night. Dinner, wine..romaaaaaance"

Colette couldn't help but smile at Fletchs ridiculous dance, finished off with an emphatic pirouette in the middle of the room.

"Don't get carried away, Nurse Fletcher" Colette smiled, as Fletch leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. "Now go, before I change my mind"

Colette spun him round and gave him a gentle shove towards the door.

"See ya later, Charlie" he called over his shoulder, as he hurried from the room. Colette watched him disappear round the corner and looked back down at Charlie's lifeless form.

Ever since Fletch had started in AAU, he'd barely mentioned his time in the ED. She'd heard from other people about his affair, but it was Charlie he talked about most . She'd even met him a couple of times- once when he'd come to AAU to talk to Harry about a patient, and the second time on one of her rare forays into the ED with Guy. She could see why Fletch admired and respected him so much. He'd come close to losing him today, and she knew Fletch well enough to know he was putting on a brave face.

The past was slowly chipping its way back into his life and she'd already noticed a subtle change in his demeanour. It wouldn't be long before Tess was following Rita and Charlie back into his life. She'd only just got him back, now it felt like she was losing him all over again.

With a heavy sigh, Colette turned and clip clopped dejectedly out of the room in her new heels, deciding she may as well embrace a night alone, with X Factor and a tub of Ben and Jerrys for company.

...

The comfort of friends...

Fletch walked in to the Hope and Anchor, scanning the bar for his friends. He half expected to see Charlie, in his usual spot at the bar, supping his pint with Noel or Big Mac as he so often did. His heart sank as he stared forlornly at the empty stool, and he had half a mind to turn around and whisk Colette off for the dinner he'd promised her.

"Fletch!"

Fletch looked across the bar and saw Jeff waving at him from a table in the corner, and a small smile surfaced at the sight of his old friends, all gathered round the table. The only notable absentees were Connie and Tess, Even Lily and Ethan had come, showing just how much Charlie meant to everyone.

Fletch gestured towards the bar and made a drinking motion with his hand. He chuckled at the rude response he got in return, and turned towards the barman.

"Two pints please, mate"

With a pint in each hand, Fletch approached the table to raucous round of applause.

"Waheyyyyyyyy!" Came the shouts, as Fletch placed the pints on the table.

"Yeah, yeah, alright!" Fletch smiled, feeling his cheeks flush slightly with embarrassment. Fletch removed his bag from across his shoulder and dumped it on the floor as he sat in the vacant chair beside Jeff.

"Good to see ya, mate!" Jeff smiled, slapping Fletch on the back

"We even saved your usual seat for you!" Noel beamed, already a few sheets to the wind.

As Fletch looked contentedly around the table, he saw that every seat was full, apart from one. The one in between Noel and Big Mac, and in front, sat a full pint of beer- Charlie's pint.

"Is Tess coming?" Ash called from the other side of the table, causing Zoe to look round

"No idea, mate" Fletch replied, catching Zoe's eye.

Cal was the last to arrive, and as he grabbed a chair from another table and slipped it in beside Ethan , Zoe rose from hers, clinking a spoon against her wine glass.

"Can I have everyone's attention please?"

The chatter ceased immediately, everyone giving Zoe their undivided attention.

"Now that Dr Knight has finally decided to join us-" Zoe began with a small smile "we all know why were here"

Everyone bowed their heads including Zoe, who took a deep breath before tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Were here because of Charlie, who we almost lost today. I may not be your clinical lead anymore, but I'm incredibly proud of what you did, and what you all do, day after day. I think I speak for everyone when I say how much Charlie is valued, admired, and loved, and he was never afraid to give me a kick up the backside when I needed it-"

A titter of laughter circled the table.

"My favourite memory of Charlie was during the flu epidemic, when Martin set up a triage tent in the car park, would you believe-!"

Ash nodded, as everyone laughed in disbelief.

"I was ready to chuck him out on his ear, but it was Charlie who made me realise I would've done the same thing. Charlie convinced me to hire Martin permanently-"

Zoe's tone softened as her dark eyes met Ash's.

"And for that I'm truly grateful"

Ash raised his glass in Zoe's direction with a nod of gratitude.

"Get well soon Charlie" Zoe finished in nothing more than a whisper. Suddenly overcome with emotion, Zoe collapsed into her seat and took a healthy gulp of wine that Max had helpfully pushed within reach.

As Ash stood and began to recount his fondest memories of his oldest friend, Rita leaned forward, and rested her head on her arms that were folded across the table. Tamzin snuggled into Jeffs side, and he slung his arm comfortingly around her shoulder. Max's hand slid across and he linked his fingers with Zoe's underneath the table.

One by one, they each recounted their favourite memories of Charlie, the funniest being Robyn's as she told the tale of when she'd accidentally eaten a patients stash of cannabis cookies because she'd been so hungry after skipping breakfast. They all laughed so hard,they almost fell off their chairs.

At one point, Lofty actually did.

Charlie had been great that day, telling Jamie to take her home, get her something healthy to eat and have an early night.

Fletch looked down and smiled as he caressed his pint, casting his mind back to that warm day in June. But he remembered it for a different reason entirely.

As Ethan took his turn, it was clear Charlie had touched each and every one of them in his own, unique way.

"...And now I'm going to yield the floor to Fletch. The reason Charlie's still here" Ethan finished, sitting back in his seat.

As all eyes turned his way, Fletch couldn't help but feel nervous. Despite his confident bravado, he'd never been much of a public speaker.

Fletch lowered his pint and slowly got to his feet. He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels as he thought about where to even begin.

"Ok" he sighed, looking up at the table. "I'm not really one for making speeches-"

"Yeah! Yeah! Get on with it!" Jeff heckled from the back of the room. Tamzin slapped her hand against his chest and glared at him.

"Yeah yeah, alright, I'll make it short and sweet so I don't cut into precious drinking time, as Charlie would say-"

"Charlie-" Fletch began, taking a deep breath. "Three words describe Charlie. Honest, loyal, hardworking. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I'd be where I am now. The last time I saw him, I let him down. I just hope I get the chance to make it up to him-"

"You already have-" Ash said quietly.

**"Charlie, do you know what train Tess was on?" Fletch asked, a sense of panic beginning to rise as he chased after the Charge Nurse. Charlie glanced behind him, trying to smother his own concern for Tess. He had a department to run in her absence and had to put his own feelings aside. He couldn't help feel annoyed at Fletch, He was the reason Tess was on the train in the first place.**

**"No, sorry" he replied, as he strode through the department "Rita, Robyn, could you clear as much reception as possible please-"**

**They both nodded and hurried away **

**"Listen, if they ask for a pre hospital team, I think I should go out-" Fletch said, gesturing to himself. **

**"No, I need you here" Charlie replied, firmly, attempting to keep him as far away from Tess as possible. "Can you set up Resus?"**

**"Look, I really think I should go out with the Team, Charlie" Fletch shot back indignantly.**

**Charlie stopped, and swung round to face him.**

**"You're a strong pair of hands, I need you here" he told him in no uncertain terms, holding out his hands to emphasise his point.**

**Charlie turned on his heel and stormed away.**

**Fletch took a long, deep breath, biting the inside of his cheek to supress his burgeoning anger. All he could think about was Tess, and didn't dare think that she could be badly hurt, or worse. He had to get to her.**

**He turned and strode away past Connie, Cal and Lily, and catching sight of agency nurse Angie coming through the doors, he whispered something in her ear. **

**Muttering his thanks, Fletch glanced furtively over his shoulder at Connie, and disappeared through the doors, hoping she was too busy to notice he'd gone.**

**...**

**Charlie stood hunched over his desk, finishing a report on the days events. Tess had been transferred to AAU and was expected to make a full recovery, physically, at least. The emotional wounds would take a little longer to heal.**

**He glanced up as he heard footsteps approach, and saw Fletch in his green jumpsuit, framed in the doorway. He resisted the urge to sack him on the spot, and considering the fact that Tess had just broken his heart and his wife had just walked out on him, he felt that was punishment enough for one day.**

**Fletch looked at him sadly, and held his arms out to the side, allowing them to drop limply back to his side.**

**"I'm sorry that I dropped you in it" he said, quietly with a shake of his head.**

**Charlie looked at the grubby, broken man before him and realised just how much he'd sacrificed for love. If he'd have been in Fletch's position, he probably would've done the same thing.**

**"We survived" **

**Fletch trudged wearily into his office**

**"You'll have to write me up, what I did was totally out of order" **

**Charlie blinked as he thought about what to say**

**"Yes it was" **

**The nurses lapsed into silence, as Fletch considered how he was ever going to make this up to Charlie. He'd let him down in worst possible way.**

**"I'm gonna leave" he said sadly.**

**Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and nodded. There was no other option. Fletch was on his final written warning, and would probably lose his job after this, but working everyday alongside Tess, would tear them apart and damage them even further. It was the right, and only choice.**

**"Still give me a reference, then?" Fletch asked, with a small smile.**

**Charlie stood up and shoved his hands into his scrub pockets.**

**"Glowing"**

**Fletch felt his bottom lip tremble as he looked at the man he admired more than anyone he'd ever known. This man was a true inspiration. Charlie looked back at Fletch, and smiled softly**

**Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, Fletch rounded the desk.**

**"Charlie, I-" Fletch began, his voice thick with emotion.**

**Fletch thrust his hand towards Charlie , and glancing down at his outstretched hand, Charlie grasped it and shook it.**

**"Come here" he said fondly, pulling Fletch into a manly hug.**

**"You're a top bloke" Fletch told him as he choked back the tears. "You're an inspiration, mate" **

**He squeezed himself into Charlie's shoulder, desperately seeking comfort from Tess' rejection. Charlie had always been there for everyone, and this was no exception. He was about to walk away from the biggest part of his life, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever recover from this.**

**Slowly, he pulled away, and Charlie rubbed his arm comfortingly. This was it.**

**It was time to go.**

"To Charlie. A top bloke, and an inspiration" Fletch finished, raising his half empty glass.

The group followed his lead and fifteen glasses were raised in the air, one by one.

"To Charlie!" They chorused.


	13. Chapter 13 Last Orders

Last Orders... (Felt that Tess' and Fletch's true feelings about each other and the termination were never really explored in the show, thought I'd use the next few chapters to do just that!)

John Legends 'All of Me' played softly in the background as the pub began to empty, and being back in the bosom of friends, Fletch hadn't realised how quickly the night had passed.

Fletch pulled out his phone from his jeans pocket and glanced at the display.

One missed call and two texts from Colette.

He read the latest one of the two and sighed. He was so convinced he'd moved on from Tess when he came back to Holby, and was even learning how to be with Colette again. Seeing Tess only proved to him how much he loved her, and now, he wasn't sure about anything at all.

He scrolled through his contacts, and came to a stop at Tess' name, his finger hovering over the call button. He wanted to speak to her, try to offer some sort of explanation and that- well, that he was sorry. For everything.

He took a sip of his pint as he typed out a text message, deleting it twice before he finally settled on what he wanted to say.

'_We need to talk. Don't push me away, Tess' _

Fletch read over the message again and hit send, before he had a chance to change his mind. He didn't expect a reply. Just Tess knowing he was there, and thinking about her was enough. For now.

Turning away from the laughter round the table, Fletch looked across to the bar, where Rita sat alone, staring into the bottom of her glass. Even though she looked better than when he last saw her, she still didn't look like the Rita he knew. Something was missing, it was like her fire had gone out. Fletch grabbed his pint and wandered over to the bar.

Deep in thought, Rita glanced up as she saw Fletch approach, and flashed him a small smile.

"Alright?" He beamed, with a quick glance to the drink in her hand

"Don't worry, Fletch" Rita smiled. "It's orange juice. There's no Vodka in it"

"I never said a word" Fletch replied, perching on the stool beside her. "You're a big girl. You make your own decisions"

"Yeah even if they're crap ones-"

"Yeah, well, we all make those"

"How did it go with Tess?" Rita asked, propping herself up with her elbow.

Fletch rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

"Not great. Let's just say I think she would've been more pleased to see an outbreak of bubonic plague !"

"Don't worry, she'll come round" Rita replied, giving him a reassuring pat on the arm. " just give her some time"

"Sure about that? " Fletch asked dully "she's got quite a right hook-"

Fletch winced at the memory and gingerly touched his cheek.

"She didn't-"

"She did"

"Ohhhhhhhh" Rita began, clamping her hand over her mouth. As their eyes met, the corners of their mouths began to twitch, until they couldn't hold it in any longer.

Rita and Fletch snorted with laughter, and Rita grabbed onto the bar for support.

" Don't!" She managed through the hysterics, grabbing her sides as they began to ache. " God, Fletch, I've missed you!"

Eventually, their laughter subsided, and as Rita wiped away a tear, she looked up into his eyes.

"Thank you. I mean that"

"What for?"

"You know-"

Fletch grinned broadly and gave Rita a wink as Ash appeared by their side.

"Did I miss something?"

"Nah, we were talking about Boxing" Fletch replied, taking a sip of his pint. He caught Rita's eye, and she looked away, biting her lip in an attempt to stifle her laughter.

"Boxing?!" Ash replied, incredulously, looking at Fletch, then back at Rita. "You hate boxing!"

"I'll tell you later" Rita giggled, as Fletch chuckled away to himself.

"Fletch, can I borrow Rita for a minute?" Ash asked

"Yeah, Course" Fletch replied, clambering off the stool "now you two behave yourselves. Don't do anything I wouldn't do-"

The words died on his lips as he caught sight of their expressions. Rita glared at him, open mouthed, and Ash just raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

Fletch's grin, suddenly vanished.

" I'll er... I'll be... See ya later" he replied hastily , before shuffling back over to the table.

Rita dissolved into a fit of silent giggles and slapped Ash on the arm

"That was mean!"

" Maybe, but it was worth it just to see the look on his face" Ash replied with a smile and a glint in his eye.

Fletch sat down beside Noel, who was slumped sideways in his chair, staring at 'Charlie's' full pint which remained untouched on the table.

"No, I just can't do it, Mac" Noel slurred, attempting to push himself upright, and failing. "I feel like, I'd be dishonouring him-"

Noel squinted up at Big Mac

"Charlie would want you to have it" Big Mac replied, in his thick welsh accent "isn't that right, Fletch?"

"Definitely" Fletch replied, pushing Noel to an upright position "in fact, I think he'd be dishonoured if you didn't have it"

"Really?"

Fletch grabbed 'Charlie's ' pint, and placed it in front of Noel.

"Noel-" he said solemnly, desperately trying to keep a straight face. "Charlie would want you to have it"

Noel glanced at Big Mac who nodded, then

looked back at Fletch

"Do you think so?" Noel asked, wide eyed

"I know so" Fletch replied, with a nod.

"You guys are the best" Noel replied, breaking into a wonky smile. Fletch and Big Mac grinned at each other as Noel grabbed the pint and downed it in one, leading to a resounding belch that had Louise swivelling round in her chair.

"Noel! That's disgusting!" She exclaimed,pinning Noel with a horrified glare. Noel sunk down in his chair, until he was almost under the table.

Louise's head snapped up and she pinned her dark eyes on Fletch and Big Mac, who turned away, attempting to conceal their sniggers.

"And you two ain't much better" she sneered, before returning to her conversation with Robyn and Lofty.

Big Mac got to his feet and dragged Noel up off the floor.

" I think it's time to go home" Mac told him, as he helped Noel towards the exit.

Cal slipped into the seat Mac had just vacated, and pointed over towards the bar.

" Twenty quid says they're sleeping together by the end of the week" he said to Fletch, who frowned and looked over his shoulder.

Zoe stood by the bar, nursing a glass of white wine. Max lounged against the bar, a wide grin almost splitting his face in two. He leaned in and whispered something in Zoe's ear, and then she laughed. Fletch had never seen Zoe Hanna laugh like that before, the kind where your shoulders shake so much they hurt. At least she never did around him. Oh yes, he'd been on the receiving end of that dazzling smile often enough, but she never, really laughed. Not since Nick Jordan, anyway. Fletch's eyes narrowed as he watch her tuck her hair behind her ear, almost flirtatiously as Max ordered her another drink.

"What? Max and Zoe?" Fletch asked, turning back to Cal "Are you joking?"

"Deadly serious, my friend" Cal replied, ignoring Ethan's admonishing glare " Are you in?"

Fletch shook his head

" Nah, you're alright" Fletch grinned "Learnt my lesson the first time."

"Your loss" Cal replied with a smile

"I'm sure Fletch has better things to do than indulge your overinflated ego by taking part in your infantile games, Caleb" Ethan grumbled, and pushed his black rimmed glasses further up his nose.

Cal raised his eyebrows and looked back at Fletch who chuckled.

"Infantile, eh? That told me" Cal mumbled under his breath. He grabbed his empty pint glass and stood up

"Fancy another one?"

"Nah, I'm gonna head off soon" Fletch replied, waving his hand towards the door. "Early start tomorrow" Cal nodded and made his way over to the bar.

As the bell for last orders rang, Fletch glanced down at his watch, and decided now was as good a time as any to say his goodbyes.

Fletch grabbed his bag from underneath the table, and slung it across his shoulder.

"Are you leaving already?"

Fletch turned around and broke into a wide grin at the sight of Zoe, who'd rejoined the table.

"Yeah, got an early start tomorrow and if you hadn't noticed, the bells just rung for Last Orders" he replied, prompting a moment of silence between the two.

"Look, Fletch-"

"Zoe, you don't have to say anything" Fletch interrupted.

"No, hear me out" Zoe said softly, raising her hand "Please"

Fletch gave a brief nod

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you both. At the crash, in Resus-"

"What do you mean?" Fletch asked with a frown. "I thought-"

"I know I've been harsh with you over the whole Tess thing, but I never wanted it to come out like that..." Zoe clarified, gazing down into her wine.

"Tess hasn't been the same since you left" she continued, looking back into his eyes. "She loves you. Don't give up on her, Fletch"

Fletch flashed Zoe a wry smile

"I think we're past that point"

"If you make each other happy, then you should be together. I should know that more than anybody with my dire relationship record. I'm just sorry I didn't say it sooner"

"How much have you had to drink, Dr Hanna?" Fletch chuckled, ducking underneath Zoe's playful swipe

"I'm not drunk." Zoe insisted "I think...Anyway, I just wanted you to know that"

"Thanks. I appreciate it" Fletch said sincerely, leaning towards Zoe "And just so you know, Cal's got a little bet going on how long it will take you and Max to jump into bed together"

"Really?" Zoe squeaked, taking a large gulp of wine " Max?! That's ridiculous!"

"Yeah, that's what I said." Fletch replied "I think it's put him off the scent for a bit-"

"Scent of what?" Zoe asked, her dark, chocolate eyes wide with innocence.

"You and Max"

Zoe opened her mouth to protest, but knew it was pointless.

"Is it that obvious?" Zoe asked, glancing round at Max who was now attempting a half-hearted chat up line with the red headed barmaid.

"Nah, only to me"

"Fletch, promise me you won't breathe a word of this to anyone" Zoe whispered, "God knows what would happen if people found out, especially Connie-"

Fletch raised his eyebrows in amusement as Zoe spat out her name, her dislike for her new boss clearly evident in the frown that creased her brow.

"Zoe, don't panic" Fletch grinned "I won't say anything. But I warn ya, if I've only just worked it out, Tess and Charlie probably already have-"

Zoe almost choked on her drink, and only marginally avoided showering the unsuspecting couple sat holding hands at the table next to her, with a mouthful of Pinot Grigio.

"I'll see ya later, Zoe" Fletch chuckled, making his way towards the door. Fletch stepped out onto the street, shivering slightly at the feel of the cool night air against his skin. He looked up into the sky, and instead of the thunderous black clouds that had resolutely settled across the skies of Holby, he saw three bright little specs, winking down at him through the inky blackness. Maybe, just maybe, they'd all get through this, and come out the other side, happier and stronger. God knows he needed Tess' strength right now, desperately in need of one of those motivational speeches he missed so much.

Fletch's phone vibrated urgently in his pocket, pulling him sharply away from his thoughts. He hoped feverently it wasn't Natalie. He couldn't face yet another argument, and they were becoming increasingly frequent now she knew he was back at Holby.

A small smile worked its way onto his face as he read the display, and decided that this could be just the distraction he needed.

"Col!" He exclaimed, his heart warming at the sound of her voice "Isn't it past your bedtime?"

Fletch felt a spot of rain splash against his cheek, and as he listened intently to her reply, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. She was chatting inanely about some documentary she'd watched on the NHS, and how furious she was about about their 1% pay rise compared to MP's. She simply had to call and tell him. The spot of rain quickly turned into two, and with the phone still pressed to his ear, Fletch jogged across the road, his voice fading away into the distance.

"Nah, Collywobble, don't be daft. You know I don't get hangovers-"

...

Tess stared sightlessly at the bland packaging on the microwave meal she held in her hand. Just the thought of anything edible turned her stomach, that fact demonstrated by the jar of coffee, can of deodorant and tube of toothpaste that currently occupied her basket.

"If you stare at that any longer, you'll burn a hole in it"

Tess looked up to see a cheery Shop Assistant with electric pink hair and a lip piercing, smiling back at her.

"I'm sorry. What?" Tess asked, when she suddenly realised the girl had spoken.

"That-" The girl repeated, nodding her head towards the microwave meal. "I said you'll burn a hole in it"

Tess quickly replaced the meal on the shelf and hurried away, her legs feeling as though they'd suddenly morphed into ten ton weights. Tess had never allowed herself to think about her son or daughter, much less allow herself to grieve for their child. The only way Tess knew how to be strong, was to carry on as normal. She had a department to run and a team to lead, and Fletch had his family. She was determined to smother any emotion, any thought about the man she loved and the child she'd given up.

_"It's grief isn't it, you have to learn to live with it" _She'd once told Zoe.

She'd learnt to live with it, but it didn't mean it hurt any less whenever she found her thoughts wandering to Fletch and what might have been. Now he was back, serving as a constant reminder of everything she'd lost. The numbness she'd felt over the last year had subsided bit by bit, and been replaced with an excruciating pain that throbbed through every fibre in her body.

A baby's cry teased the edge of her hearing and as she turned around, her eyes widened in horror as a young pregnant woman walked towards her, laughing happily with her partner.

"Excuse me, madam, are you alright?"

Tess jumped as the concerned Store Manager moved into her field of vision and he was closely followed by the girl with the electric pink hair, her teeth gnawing anxiously on her fingernails. It didn't take a genius to work out who'd tipped him off.

"Can we get you something warmer, a jacket maybe?" He asked, taking a tentative step towards her.

As Tess caught sight of the mirror outside the Opticians station, she immediately realised what all the fuss was about. She was standing in the middle of the freezer aisle in Sainsbury's at half past ten at night, in her short sleeve scrubs, with tears cascading silently down her cheeks.

Her basket fell to the floor with a clatter, causing several other people in the aisle to turn and stare. Suddenly Tess couldn't breathe, and the concerned voices of the crowd that had gathered round, merged into one. Somehow, she managed to move, quickening her pace as she searched for somewhere to hide. Tess broke into a run, desperate to put as much distance between her and the world as possible. Tess dived into the ladies and threw herself into the cubicle, her lungs screaming out in protest at the effort. Tess' shaking fingers fumbled against the lock, her tears hot against her cheeks, and finally, the lock slid into place. Slowly, Tess slid down the wall, giving in to the mournful sobs that wracked through her tiny frame.


	14. Chapter 14 I will try, to Fix You

Chapter Fourteen. I'll Try to Fix You...( flashbacks are in Italics this time. Places mentioned are entirely fictitious .)

Please Rand R!

Daylight flooded the sparcely furnished bedroom of Adrian Fletcher. Despite the obligatory wardrobe, king size bed, neatly made, and chest of drawers, the only other piece present was an old mothercare travel cot that baby Theo used when Natalie allowed their youngest son to stay. It had served Evie, Mikey and Ella through those first few years, and was his little piece of nostalgia.

Fletch closed his eyes as he stepped beneath the hot water of the shower, running his fingers through the frothy shampoo in his hair.

His new apartment pushed the term 'bijou' to the absolute limit, but it was enough for him and the added bonus of the second bedroom meant the kids could stay over whenever they liked. But more importantly, it was definitely an improvement on his sisters Ikea sofa bed

_Fletch glanced at the display on the dashboard as he turned into St Hellier's Row, just on the outskirts of Fulham. The clock read Two Fifteen am, and he hoped his sister wasn't on a night shift at the hospital where she worked. He hadn't paid much attention when his mother had emailed Lou's rota, he much preferred the element of surprise. He always had a habit of just turning up , even when they were kids, but she'd always be there for him, no questions asked._

_He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he came to a stop outside his sisters block, the smell of smoke still evident in his tousled hair._

_As he turned off the ignition, he sat in silence, mulling over the events of the last few hours. Natalie had left him for good, and he'd quite possibly, run away from the best thing that ever happened to him. _

_Fletch climbed the last flight of stairs, grateful that the tradesmans entrance had been left unlocked, and made his way down the corridor until he could go no further. Three silver numbers on the last door indicated he'd reached 318, Louise's place. Balling his fist, he knocked once, bowing his head as he waited. He heard movement behind the door, the sound of a key turning once, twice, three times in the lock. The door flew open, revealing a tousled mass of blonde hair, tangled across her face. She wore a cow print onesie that was at least a size too big and he felt his heart warm at the sight of his kid sister he hadn't seen in almost a month. She pushed the mass of knots out of her eyes and squinted sleepily up at her brother as she allowed her eyes to adjust to the light._

_Without a word, Louise turned and shuffled back to the bedroom, leaving Fletch to close the door behind him. _

With his hair still damp from the shower, Fletch quickly dressed in his shirt and jeans, and headed to the kitchen to grab a slice of toast. If he managed to get to the hospital early, he'd have some time to spend with Charlie before he started his shift. Fletch leaned back against the worktop in his open plan kitchen, surveying what his life had become. Everything he owned was stacked up in three cardboard boxes underneath the window in the living room. A solitary brown leather three seater sofa faced the television that Mikey insisted on helping Fletch fix to the wall, simply because 'Marks television is on the wall'.

Saint bloody Mark.

Fletch chewed angrily on his toast, bristling at the thought of Natalie's new boyfriend, a lawyer who worked in London most of the week. Still, He was good to the kids and she seemed happy enough, so Fletch mostly kept his opinions to himself.

Fletch wandered over to the window and took another bite of toast, as his eyes came to rest on the unmistakable form of Holby City Hospital looming up through the fog. It wasn't an attractive building, or the most modern, but it had presence, a formidable air about the place that never failed to take his breath away.

"A bit like Guy Self' Fletch had joked to Colette one day. They stood in the middle of the empty living room, the outline of the hospital framed in the window.

"Seriously, Fletch, you can't compare Guy to a building!" Colette had laughed, as Fletch began to outline point by point, the similarities between Guy Self and an ugly, outdated concrete box.

He'd been lucky to find this place, it was the last flat in a brand new block built specifically for Nurses and Medics at Holby and St James', and considering it was only a few streets away from the Hospital, he no longer had any excuse to be late!

...

Fletch arrived at the hospital half an hour before the start of his shift. He quickly changed into his scrubs and made his way to Charlie's room, hoping to get a few minutes with him before he was transferred to ICU.

Fletch's pace slowed as he reached the door, his green eyes widening in surprise. He leant against the doorframe and folded his arms across his chest as he took a moment to savour the sight of the person he least expected to see, her arms splayed out across the bed, sleeping peacefully in the armchair she'd pulled up to Charlies bedside. His heart almost broke at the troubled frown that creased her brow, even when she slept, and knew he didn't have the heart to wake her. Guy and Colette wouldn't be in for another hour or two, and she looked like she needed the rest.

Fletch crept into the room and stealthily found a spare blanket in the cabinet beside Charlie's bed. He gently laid it across her shoulders, and she stirred, mumbling something about budgets, he couldn't really tell. He allowed his hands to linger lightly on her shoulders, and Fletch smiled inwardly as the woman shifted position beneath his hands and turned her head the other way. She'd always been a light sleeper, and still guarded the secrets he'd learnt from her penchant for talking in her sleep, with his life. Carefully tucking the corners of the blanket in between her body and the bed, Fletch took a step back, and found he couldn't take his eyes of the woman who'd utterly captured his heart. Underneath that unflappable, professional exterior was a well concealed vulnerability, that only those closest to her were ever permitted to see. Fletch had been fortunate enough to catch a glimpse, however small, giving him that overwhelming urge to protect her, although it had often led to heated arguments between the pair. She was strong and independent, so she said, and he thought she spent so much of her time looking after everyone else, that maybe it was time someone took care of her. She thought he fussed too much. Fletch laughed to himself at the memory.

As he looked a little closer, his laugh faded into a frown as he realised for the first time, just how fragile she looked. She'd definitely lost a few pounds off her already slender frame, and looked as though at any moment, she'd shatter like a porcelain doll. He resolved in that instant, to keep a better eye on her, whether she liked it or not.

A loud thud from the corridor woke Tess with a start, and she looked blearily down at the blanket that covered her shoulders. Her mind was still so befuddled with sleep, it took her a moment to realise exactly where she was. Not only that, but also the fact she was no longer alone.

"Fletch?" Tess mumbled, rubbing her cheek where she'd slept, attempting to restore the sensation."What time is it ?"

"Just after Six" Fletch said softly, moving over to the bed. His eyes were drawn to Tess' hand against her cheek, and he could tell by their delicate flush , and slight blotchiness beneath her eyes, that she'd been crying. Taking a painful breath in, Fletch pulled on his gloves, and began to open a sterile pack of needles, deciding that the subject was probably best avoided. If there was something she wanted him to know, Tess would tell him in her own time.

" Have you been here all night?" He asked, ripping off the packaging more forcefully than he intended.

"No. Not all night" Tess explained, adjusting Charlie's sheet. "I Couldn't sleep, so I thought I might as well be here"

Fletch looked down at Tess, his eyes full of concern

"Tess, you look shattered-"

"I'm fine-" Tess sighed, stretching out her arms as she sat up.

"Why don't you get off home and-"

"I told you, I'm fine" Tess snapped, snatching off the blanket and handing it back to him. "I just couldn't leave Charlie here on his own"

"He's not on his own. There's at least a dozen medics out there-"

"You know what I mean" Tess replied, suddenly feeling more alert as Fletch moved round the bed and began to monitor Charlie's pulse. " Charlie hasn't got any family-" Fletch glanced up from his watch, his eyes settling on Tess. "I keep thinking, what if this happens to me? What if I'm in some sort of accident and I'm alone like-"

Tess' voice trailed off as Fletch tucked Charlie's arm back under the covers and scribbled on Charlie's notes, in his familiar left handed scrawl.

"You had me" Fletch stated simply, his eyes never leaving the notes. Tess' eyes widened as she remembered Fletch almost coming to blows with Charlie, after his refusal to leave her bedside after the crash.

"Fletch-" Tess said quietly, averting her eyes away from her former love.

Seemingly oblivious to the sound of his name, Fletch clicked the top of his pen and tucked it back into the breast pocket of his scrubs.

"Charlie's being transferred up to ICU" Fletch informed her, turning his back to the nurse so she couldn't see how much her rejection still hurt. "All being well, Elliot says he should make a full recovery"

There was a moment of silence before Tess spoke.

"That's good news"

"Yeah, he'll be back in the ED, being a pain in the proverbial in no time!" Fletch chuckled, attempting to sound jovial.

"I'm sure he will" Tess replied, her eyes dropping to the floor as Fletch looked round.

Tess fiddled anxiously with her fingers, mentally berating herself that she still allowed Fletch to have this effect on her. The one where she struggled to formulate any kind of sentence in his presence, the one where she found herself unable to articulate.

"Listen, Fletch, I-"

Fletch's eyebrows shot up as she spoke, a hopeful expression settling across his handsome features. Tess' dark eyes flickered across his face, and as their gaze caught and held, Tess felt that huge rush of passion, all the old feelings bludgeoning their way to the surface.

The words caught in her throat as she felt herself crumble under Fletchs's intense regard, making the Nurse Manager even more determined to smother any feelings she still harboured, for the man she loved with all of her heart.

"I'd better get back to the ED"

"Tess-" Fletch replied, his brows knitting together in a frown. "You've been here all night- and don't tell me you haven't, because I know you-" he scolded, jabbing his finger towards Tess as she opened her mouth to protest. Tess closed her mouth and her shoulders slumped back in defeat. Fletch turned back to his equipment tray and began to rearrange it for the fifth time.

" Think about yourself for a change." Fletch continued, glancing out of the window at a passing Mary-Claire. " the best thing you can do is go home, and get your head down for a few-"

Fletch turned round to find Tess had already left.

"-hours."

He sighed and tossed a nasal tube onto the trolley. Tess could be so maddeningly stubborn at times, he wondered how he ever got through to her at all. Maybe if he'd tried harder, and not taken the easy option, Tess would've confided in him, told him about the pregnancy. Maybe then he could've changed her mind.

" I dunno, Charlie" Fletch murmured, his hands either side of the trolley. " What are we gonna do, eh?"

_Louise Lawson, nee Fletcher sat crossed legged on the floor of her living room, nursing a mug of Herbal Tea. The doleful, melodic sounds of Coldplay on the radio filled the unbearable silence that had continued through the several hours they'd been awake. On reflection, something a little more upbeat would have been more appropriate, considering Fletch's worsening state of melancholy. _

_She'd made quite a transformation in the few hours since Fletch had shown up unannounced on her doorstep. You'd think after twenty years she'd be used to it. Her once matted nest of long, blonde hair, was now tangle free and knitted together in a fishtail plait that snaked over her left shoulder. The cow print onesie had been replaced with a more conventional jeans and white Superdry Hoodie, and the only sign of last nights slightly zany attire, even by Lou's standards, was a pair of fluffy pink bed socks complete with five giant purple bobbles, peeking out from the bottom of her jeans. But that was Lou all over. She didn't care what people thought, and wasn't afraid to tell them._

_She took a sip of her tea and lowered her mug again, gently placing it on the coffee table. She pushed it across the surface with a fingertip, towards her brother who sat opposite, hugging his knees to his chest. He'd been sitting that way for the past two hours, and hadn't uttered a word since they'd woken. She knew he'd been awake most of the night; she'd heard the quiet sobs through her bedroom door. She'd resisted the urge to go and envelope him in the biggest Sister hug she could muster, instead deciding that she'd be there for him if and when he decided he wanted to confide in her. She'd snuggled up to husband Ian and closed her eyes, attempting to ignore the stifled sobs coming from the other room. The whimpers eventually faded to silence as Fletch fell into a fitful sleep, leaving Louise wondering what on earth could have happened, to break her brother so completely._

_And that's where she found him the next day. Sitting on the floor beside the sofa, wrapped up in a blanket, hugging his knees against his chest. Louise felt tears of her own prick at the corner of her eyes, as she looked into the soulless eyes of her older brother, devoid of the brightness and sparkle that made him Fletch. _

_It was as if she was looking into the eyes of a stranger. His cheeks were damp and tear stained, and it took every ounce of effort to plaster on a smile. A smile as bright as the sun._

_"It cleanses the soul, you know" Louise said finally, nodding towards the tea. "Try some" _

_Louise bit her lip anxiously, as she watched her brother shift awkwardly into a new position, the numbness finally settling in after hours sitting on the hardwood floor._

_Fletch blinked, as another solitary tear escaped through his long lashes._

_"You know I hate that stuff, Lou" he said quietly, hugging the blanket tighter around his body. "Tastes like mud"_

_"Have you ever tasted mud?" Louise asked, retrieving the unwanted tea. "I mean other than the time when I was three and you were eleven and I forced you to eat a mud cake I made in the park!"_

_Fletch smiled weakly at the memory._

_"I spoke to mum yesterday, by the way!" Louise said, trying a different approach "She and Aunty Vi are having a whale of a time in Florida. Dad just moaned about the heat, you know dad, only gets a whiff of sun and he comes out in blisters!-" _

_"S'nice" _

_Louise's own smile vanished as Fletch stared blankly down at the patterned rug._

_"Ade-" Her voice trembled with emotion, prompting her brother to look up at her. Louise reached out and gently stroked his cheek with her manicured finger. "What's happened, Hun? Please talk to me?"_

_Louise moved closer to his side, the feel of her weight against him providing the comfort and reassurance he craved. He dropped his hand into her lap and grasped her delicate hand so tightly, she almost yelped in pain._

_He told her everything, about the affair and how he'd fallen so completely in love with another woman. Last night, he'd rescued Tess from the train crash, and now Natalie knew everything and had walked away. Tess had told him to leave, that she couldn't be happy in a relationship started by deceit and lies._

_"Tess was pregnant, Lou" he told her. "She didn't even tell me- she just went ahead and got rid of it. Not a word" _

_"How did you feel about it?"_

_"She said she was trying to protect me. She didn't want to split up my family. You and I both know that would've probably happened anyway. Eventually. "_

_Louise bowed her head. She knew Fletch and Natalie had been having problems. She just wished she'd been in Bristol to sort this whole mess out, instead of stuck in this god forsaken city. _

_Fletch sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve._

_"Did you talk to Tess about it?" Louise asked softly. Fletch wasn't much of a talker when it came to matters of the heart. He preferred to style it out by putting on a front, using humour as a facade._

_Fletch shook his head._

_"You know me, Lou. Nothing more was said. We decided to be friends and forget about it."_

_"But you can't-"_

_"There's this constant ache, sometimes it hurts so much, I feel like I can't breathe, ya know?" _

_Fletch said, covering his chest with his hand in an attempt to smother the physical ache that Tess had left behind._

_He looked at his sister for some sort of acknowledgement, that she understood what he was going through._

_" Seriously, what would you have done Ade, if Tess had kept the baby? She was probably afraid you wouldn't be there-"_

_"Of course I would've been!" Fletch spluttered, suddenly angry at the injustice of it all. "I loved her, more than I've ever loved anyone. I wanted that baby, Lou-"_

_Fletch's admission hit Lou like she'd been kicked in the chest. _

_"I wanted to have our baby and be with her. I still do" _

_Fletch broke into a fresh wave of tears as he finally admitted out loud what he'd been denying for months. What he never admitted even to himself, let alone to the person that really mattered. His voice trembled as he spoke, barely audible through the incessant sobs that wracked through his body _

_" Now she's gone, our baby's gone-" _

_He looked at his sister, who sat very still, her own tears of grief , streaming silently down her cheeks._

_"I miss them so, so much Lou. What am I gonna do?" The last words escaped as a hiccup, his face crumpling in his hands as the grief finally overwhelmed him. Louise crawled the last few centimetres that separated them and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, gently stroking her fingers through his fine strands of hair. _

_"Oh Ade, you big, stupid idiot!" Louise soothed, gently rocking him back and forth "You don't have to pretend all the time that you're okay, you know! Not with me-"_

_She leaned in and placed a soft, loving kiss on the top of his head and then rested her cheek on the same spot._

_ Suddenly it was fifteen years ago all over again._

_She wore a scarlet bridesmaids dress that chaffed around the bust, complete with a matching pair of shoes and some god awful flowery headpiece that Colette could only have stolen from an old peoples home. But the outcome had been the same. Louise comforted Fletch, all dressed up in his rented tuxedo, on the floor of the church vestry, only minutes after Colette had jilted him at the altar. She made herself a promise on that day, when she sent away a hundred or so family and friends from the church, that no woman would ever hurt her brother like that again._

_She'd fixed him then, with a bit of TLC, time and a boozy weekend in Newquay. He'd even taken up a few new hobbies. He met Natalie six weeks later at Salsa classes, and the rest as they say, was history. But this, she didn't even know where or how to start, putting back together her fractured brother._

_"I'm here now. Everything's gonna be fine" she whispered. "I love you, Fletcher" _

_His whole body shook uncontrollably, and Louise felt her heart break at the sight of her brother, her big brother, broken, grieving, and weeping in her arms like a child._

_Finally, exhausted and spent, Fletch fell asleep. His head rested in his sisters lap, and trying not to disturb him, Louise reached across and pulled the blanket over his athletic frame. She lovingly stroked his head as he slept, listening to the words of the song that now filled her entire room. She took a long deep breath in, making a solemn vow to herself that she'd comfort him through his grief, let him shout, scream and weep or whatever eased the physical and emotional pain. Then, she'd patch him back together piece by piece like she always did, and send him back to Holby, stronger, happier and able to find peace with everything he'd lost._

'And the tears come streaming down your face, when you lose something you can't replace.

when you love someone, but it goes to waste,

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

And I will try, to Fix You.


	15. Chapter 15 Bedknobs and Broomsticks

Chapter 15. Bedknobs and Broomsticks. (Part 1)

It was October 31st, the night of All Hallows' Eve.

Tess hadn't seen much of Fletch over the past week or so, as their differing shifts had served to keep them apart. They'd bumped into each other, literally, outside Guy Selfs office after a management meeting one Thursday morning, each apologising profusely to the other for the stack of paperwork they'd caused each other to drop. They'd exchanged pleasantries and gone their separate ways, secretly sneaking a look over their shoulder when they thought the other wasn't looking.

They both felt like lovesick teenagers all over again.

The ED was bursting at the seams, with everything from Frankenstein who'd swallowed a nail, to a teenager dressed as a pumpkin who'd broken his ankle at a Halloween party.

A hoard of children from a Brownie pack zoomed around the ED in witches costumes, as Brown Owl had had an unfortunate accident with a flagpole, and there were a few zombies thrown in for good measure.

"Trick or Treat!" Screamed a skinny blonde haired girl, hurtling straight towards Lily on her broomstick.

"Enough!" Lily said firmly, prompting the girl to throw her broomstick on the ground in a temper. "This is a hospital! Not a playground!"

The girl shoved out her bottom lip and scowled up at the doctor.

"I hate you!" She said loudly enough for the whole department to hear "You're mean and horrible, and you're not even that pretty!"

The girl folded her arms and stomped off in the other direction.

"Well, I think you missed your calling in life, Dr Chao" Cal said, rounding reception with a smug grin plastered across his face "You should've been a nanny...or a teacher..or-"

"Grow up, Cal" Lily sneered, snatching up her paperwork and striding off towards cubicles.

Tess looked round as Lily strode past where she sat in Reception, like a whirlwind. She shook her head and tutted to herself as she thought sometimes, the ED resembled more of a nursery with squabbling children, than a hospital with fully grown adults. It was nearing the end of her shift, and Tess was looking forward to a night in with a bottle of wine and a nice hot bath, and definitely wouldn't be answering the door to any groups of small people even remotely resembling witches or goblins.

Tess jumped as a file thwacked the desk in front of her.

"Anyone in charge around here?"

Tess' dark eyes narrowed on the owner of the hand attached to the file, and folded her own across the desk.

"What is it, Fletch? I'm busy" Tess replied, fiddling with her pen.

"Blimey! You lot having a fancy dress party down here?" Fletch asked, looking round the ED at the myriad of witches and monsters. "Must have missed the memo! So-" he grinned, turning back to Tess. "What have you come as then?"

Tess' ignored Noel's snort of laughter and Fletch's grin quickly disappeared as he caught sight of the look on Tess' face. If looks could kill, he'd already be well and truly buried.

"Do you need me for something?" Tess asked, her eyes lowering to her patient notes.

Fletch hesitated and cleared his throat. At the same moment, Tess realised what she'd said and almost dropped her pen.

"Mrs Payne" Fletch began, getting back to business. He pushed the file towards Tess. "I thought she was being discharged"

Tess glanced up at the notes

"Who told you that?" Tess asked, frowning. "Zoe and I both felt her symptoms needed further investigation"

"She's a hypochondriac. You know that as well as I do" Fletch responded, leaning over the desk." We've got an emergency appendectomy and Mr Di Lucca's about to take his patient into surgery. We haven't got time for-"

"THAT maybe so-" Tess replied before Fletch could finish. " But it's our job to be thorough. We can't just discharge her without further investigation!"

"Tess!" Fletch exclaimed with a huff of irritation " how many times have we treated Sylvia together in the ED, eh?"

"That's irrelevant"

"At least four" replied Fletch, pointing the file at Tess . "And each time-"

"Is there a problem?"

Fletch glanced over his shoulder, as the familiar click of Zoe's heels announced her arrival.

"No problem" Tess replied, "Just a patient, that's all"

Fletch nodded in agreement, his eyes still firmly fixed on Tess.

"Tess, have you seen Rita? " Zoe asked, glancing round the department. "I need to ask her something about Mr Sawyer in four and I can't find her anywhere!"

Zoe held up Mr Sawyers notes to emphasise her point.

"Isn't she in Resus?" Tess frowned, annoyed that she hadn't realised her most senior nurse had apparently vanished into thin air.

"Uh...I think she's with Mr Self" Fletch interjected, as two sets of eyes were immediately turned in his direction.

"You think?" Tess asked suspiciously. She knew Fletch too well. She could sense the sudden awkwardness in his demeanour.

"Yeah, yeah I saw her upstairs about an hour ago" Fletch replied, gesturing towards the stairs

"Do you know what it's about?" Tess asked, growing increasingly impatient with Fletch's lack of information.

"Absolutely no idea" Fletch grinned, grabbing his paperwork off the desk.

Zoe and Tess exchanged a glance

"And don't worry about Mrs Payne, I'll sort it" Fletch threw over his shoulder as he sauntered towards the stairs

Zoe rounded the desk and stood beside Tess with one hand on her hip, as both women watched Fletch intently. He stopped, and exchanged a joke with Robyn.

"What's he up to?" Zoe asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"I dread to think" Tess' eyes reluctantly lowered back to her notes.

"Pleeeeeease Fletch, you've got to come!" Robyn pouted, as Max appeared behind her.

"I dunno. House parties aren't really my scene"

"It'll be great..and it's fancy dress!" Robyn smiled, pulling a witches hat, complete with illuminous green hair from behind her back.

"I'll think about it, alright" Fletch chuckled, amused at Robyn's merry jig on the spot. "I'm not promising anything!"

"You've got to get into the spirit of things, mate" Max grinned, throwing a white bedsheet over his head. He peered out of the two large eye holes he'd cut in the top.

"What do you think?" Max asked, his voice muffled by the sheet.

"I think you're a few sarnies short of a picnic, mate" Fletch chuckled "I wouldn't let Connie see you like that!"

Max crouched down and crept towards Reception, keeping his head low to avoid being seen. Fletch and Robyn followed, keeping enough of a distance that, if anything went wrong, namely Connie, they'd have a speedy getaway.

"Trick or Treat!"

Max sprung up from behind reception, his arms outstretched in a ghoulish pose.

Louise screamed down the phone. Tess swore loudly, and all Zoe could do was close her eyes and mutter under her breath. Lofty tripped over his own feet and dropped the cardboard pulp bowl containing Alice Heggarty's urine sample.

"Max, what the hell are you playing at?!" Zoe asked, as Lofty trudged away in his urine soaked trainers.

"It's Halloween!" Max exclaimed, glancing over his shoulder at Fletch. "Come on, Tess. Trick or Treat?"

Tess slowly closed the file and rounded reception, placing her hands firmly on the back of her hips.

"How about you get back to your job, and I forget to tell Connie about the defacing of hospital property?" Tess suggested, her dark eyes narrowing on Max.

Max chuckled under the sheet

"Connie just needs her broomstick and she'd fit right in, eh Fletch-"

Max glanced over his shoulder at Fletch, and found Connie in his place

"Mrs Beauchamp!" Max exclaimed, whipping off the sheet "I was just about to move...I mean Take Mr Potter up to X-Ray!" Max blustered, catching the blast of Connie's icy glare. Connie just nodded, making Max feel even more uneasy than he already did. He half expected a sarcastic comment, or to be called into her office at the very least, but all he received, was a stony silence. Taking the silence as his cue to leave, Max hurried away, dumping the sheet in Fletch's arms as he went. Today, Connie Beauchamp clearly had bigger fish to fry.

"Well, I appear to have gone back in time" Connie said finally, turning towards Fletch. "Are you lost, Nurse Fletcher?"

"Nah, just fancied a change of scenery" he grinned, giving Zoe a cheeky wink. Robyn bit her lip, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"I see. And here's me thinking you had a ward to run. Does Mr Self know you've gone AWOL?"

Fletch's grin faded ever so slightly

"It's my fault" Tess piped up in his defence. " I asked him to consult on a patient."

Fletch's eyes snapped up and caught Tess' gaze.

"I'd better get back" he said quietly, more to Tess than anyone else.

Tess replied with a brief nod.

"No, now you're here, you may as well stay" Connie replied, waving him back "This involves you"

Fletch took his place behind reception, standing closer to Tess than she was comfortable with.

"I've just had a call from ICU. Charlie's regained consciousness" Connie informed them in a business like fashion, as though she was speaking to a patients relatives rather than to her own staff.

Zoe, Tess and Fletch all looked at each other, wide eyed.

"He's stable, his vitals are all looking good, so they're going to extubate in the next half an hour-" Connies voice trailed off as she looked at the hopeful expressions that crossed the medics faces.

"I thought you'd all want to be there"

"Is he fully conscious? What's his prognosis? Will he need more surgery?"

Connie held up her hands, protecting herself from Zoe's barrage of questions.

"I'm sorry Zoe, I don't know. That's all I've been told"

"Right, come on you two" Zoe instructed, waving her finger over her shoulder at the two nurses. Zoe strode off down the corridor, with Fletch and Tess close on her heel.

Zoe, Fletch and Tess stared through the window of Charlie's room, the three of them silently hoping someone else would make the first move. They could see Charlie was fully conscious, tugging on the myriad of wires and shifting uncomfortably round the bed.

"I always said medics make the worst patients"

Fletch' s voice broke the silence, which almost came as a relief to the other two. They could always rely on Fletch to lighten the mood.

"The three of us here, feels just like old times!" Fletch grinned,

Tess moved first. She strode purposefully through the doors and made her way to Charlie's bedside, not bothering to wait for her colleagues.

Fletch looked at Zoe

"What?" Fletch asked with a shrug "What did I say?"

Zoe rolled her eyes and followed Tess' lead, and it wasn't long before all three of them were standing at Charlie's bedside.

Tess anxiously bit her lip as they all waited for the doctor to arrive to perform the extubation. Zoe was just about to suggest she do it herself, when Dr Barnes finally made an appearance, accompanied by Elliot Hope.

"Sorry to keep you all waiting" Dr Barnes apologised. "Nice to see you again, Dr Hanna, Sister Bateman"

Tess and Zoe nodded in acknowledgment.

"What's the score, Prof" Fletch whispered in Elliot's ear as Dr Barnes prepared his equipment.

"Well, I've still got a few more tests to run. I won't know until I get the results if he'll need further surgery in the long term"

Fletch swallowed hard and nodded.

"Don't worry" Elliot said kindly "he's through the worst. Charlie's a fighter."

Fletch smiled as Elliot placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Prof"

"Right. Charlie are you ready?" Dr Barnes asked

Charlie nodded once.

"You know the score, Charlie. When I tell you, I need you to cough for me alright?"

Tess pressed her palms together and as her arms dropped back to her side, she felt Fletch's fingers lightly brush her own. She'd been so caught up with Charlie, she hadn't realised Fletch had moved close enough to touch her. He'd recognized her familiar mannerism when she was anxious, or worried, and had moved close to her side, almost automatically, as a protective measure.

Tess quickly moved her hand away and folded her arms across her chest, as Dr Barnes finally removed the tube from Charlie's throat.

Suddenly, Zoe darted forward as Charlie's body crumpled into a violent coughing fit and gently manouvered him back down onto the pillow as the coughs began to subside.

"Welcome back, Charlie" Elliot smiled as Dr Barnes' pager began to beep.

"Well, Charlie, you're in fine hands here" Dr Barnes said, as he stared at his pager. "I'm needed in AAU, so I'll leave you in the capable hands of Dr Hanna. Elliot, walk with me"

The two Doctors left the room, and Zoe removed her stethoscope from around her neck.

"How are you feeling Charlie?" She asked, as she ran the diaphragm over his chest.

"Like I've had a heart attack" Charlie croaked, swatting Zoe's hand away "Thank you for asking"

Fletch smiled as Tess moved forward and took Charlie's hand

" You had us all worried" Tess told him, and Charlie smiled painfully.

"Silly sods, all of you"

Tess wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him as tightly as his pain would allow.

"Haven't you all got jobs to do?" Charlie asked, as Tess sat back on bed. "You're needed downstairs, not up here, fussing over me-"

It was then Charlie noticed Fletch, standing quietly at the end of the bed. At that moment, it dawned on him just how worried they all must have been, for Tess and Fletch to be together in the same room.

"Now there's a sight for sore eyes" Charlie growled, the after effects of the tube leaving behind a slight gravel tone.

"Good to see you Charlie, mate" Fletch grinned, as Charlie shifted awkwardly and grimaced in pain.

"I'll get you some Morphine for the pain" Zoe scribbled away on Charlies notes and beckoned over a nurse.

"We'll go and let you get some rest" Tess smiled, giving Charlie's hand a quick squeeze. "I'll see you tomorrow"

Charlie nodded as Tess stood, and hoping Fletch would follow her lead, she made her way out into the corridor, leaving Charlie in Zoe's care.

"See, I told ya that would happen" Fletch beamed when he joined Tess outside. " I told you he'd pull through"

"There's still a long way to go, Fletch" Tess replied, warmed ever so slightly, by Fletch's sense of optimism. He always managed to get her to see the positive side of things, even in the most dire of situations, and that's part of the reason why she fell for him. Tess had always been the realist of the pair, showing Fletch that, in life, not everything was black and white.

"I know that. But it's a start, right?"

Tess returned his smile and nodded.

"Yes it is" she agreed, wondering if they were still talking about Charlie.

They fell into an awkward silence, unsure of what to say next.

" Look, Tess-" Fletch began, and Tess opened her mouth to respond.

They both looked up as a pair of heels came clattering down the corridor

"I've just heard!" Rita exclaimed, a little out of breath from the exertion of running up six flights of stairs in a pair of heels. "Is he awake?"

Rita peered in through the window, seemingly oblivious to Tess eyeing her attire with suspicion.

She wore a smart grey trouser suit and white blouse, and as Tess' gaze travelled down to the offending heels, she realised Fletch had gone exceedingly quiet.

"Rita, where have you been for the last hour and a half?"

Rita looked round at her boss.

"I've been in an interview with Guy Self about the job in AAU..." Rita told her, a frown creasing her brow when it became apparent Tess had absolutely no idea what she was taking about.

"I thought Fletch told you-"

Tess' eyes darted to Fletch, who suddenly found an old damp patch on the ceiling particularly appealing.

"No, he didn't" Tess replied, folding her arms and her eyes flashing dangerously.

A feeling of awkwardness suddenly surfaced, and Rita made her excuses and disappeared into Charlie's room, leaving Tess and Fletch alone.

"Look, Tess I can explain-" Fletch began

"I'm all ears"

Tess squeezed her folded arms tightly against her chest. She kept her voice even, deciding she'd hear Fletch out first, before jumping to any conclusions.

Fletch opened his mouth to speak, but snapped it shut as a brunette nurse walked briskly by. Grabbing the crease in between her arm and elbow, Fletch gently guided Tess to one side, away from prying eyes and ears. His simple touch sent a thousand volts of electricity coursing through her body, and she gave a small, involuntary shiver as his hand lingered on her arm.

"You alright?" He asked with a frown

"I'm fine, I'm just waiting to hear why you're trying to poach my staff" Tess replied fluently, her dark eyes pinned on Fletch.

"Tess!" Fletch raised his hands defensively

"I'm not trying to poach anyone! Rita came to me, she had a bit of an emotional wobble. We all have those, don't we?"

Fletch raised his eyebrows suggestively, deciding he'd leave out the part where he'd practically scooped the nurse out of the gutter.

Tess looked away and took a deep breath.

"If Rita was worried, she should have come to me."

Fletch sighed and his arms dropped to his side.

"Maybe she felt she couldn't-" Fletch paused, as he struggled to find the right words to say.

"You've been a bit out of sorts lately"

Evidently, those weren't the right ones.

"Out of sorts!" Tess spluttered, "That's utter rubbish! I'm still trying to put the department back together after the devastation you left-"

"ME?!"

"Keep your voice down! This is a hospital if you haven't forgotten-" Tess hissed through her teeth.

Fletch leaned forward closer to Tess. He'd tried tact and a little diplomacy, and hadn't got anywhere. Maybe now was the time to be brutally honest.

"I haven't forgotten. You know what Tess, The reason why Rita didn't come to you in the first place, is because she's scared of you"

"Scared?" Tess asked, a little taken aback "Of me?"

"Yes, and not just Rita. Robyn and Lofty too."

"Now you're just being ridicu-"

" Am I?" Fletch interrupted, the determination clear in his voice " You need to take a long hard look at yourself, Tess. This militant style, it's not you. They're great nurses, and I'd be more than happy if they came to work on the ward"

Tess eyes widened, attempting to ignore the warm flush to her cheeks.

"I don't need your advice on how to run my department!" Tess shot back "What I do or how I do it, is none of your concern!"

"Really" Fletch stated, folding his arms

"Yes, really. Ohhhh..."

Tess gasped as a sudden wave of nausea encompassed her and Fletch lurched forward, grabbing her tightly around the waist.

"Tess? You alright? . Tess?!"

Tess grabbed his shoulder in an effort to steady herself, the corridor spinning round and round like a fairground ride.

She heard Fletchs voice, but his face was distorted and blurred. As she felt his strong arms grasp even more tightly around her tiny frame, everything went black.

Fletch caught Tess as she crumpled to the floor and gathered her effortlessly up into his arms.

"Tess, sweetheart, can you hear me?" He said for the final time. He looked up and spied a doctor over by reception "Oi! I need some help over here!"

...


	16. Chapter 16 Bedknobs and Broomsticks

"I told you. I'm fine. There's no need for all this fuss"

Tess sat propped up with a couple of pillows on a bed in AAU, a saline IV attached to cannula in her arm. Fletch perched on the side of the bed, working quickly and efficiently to draw a sample of blood. Tess had refused to change out of her scrubs and into a hospital gown, and only agreed to stay for tests because Fletch had threatened to call security if she even attempted to set one foot outside ward.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that" Fletch replied, his eyes focussed on the syringe.

An audible sigh escaped her lips, and Fletch smiled to himself as Tess rolled her eyes to the ceiling.

Tess' automatic response to any display of concern or worry, was that she was fine. She would never say otherwise.

Tess watched Fletch work, and it was clear he'd come on leaps and bounds since leaving the ED. He had an air of confidence about him, almost a swagger, and clearly thrived on the extra responsibility his new role had brought. Suddenly he wasn't afraid to challenge her, tell her a few home truths he thought she needed to hear.

He'd grown up.

Tess was secretly proud and his were incredibly large boots to fill, but Tess would never, ever give her ex love the satisfaction of knowing.

"Right" Fletch said, finishing drawing the sample of blood "All done. See, told you I'd be gentle"

"You always were the best at the more intricate procedures" Tess mumbled thoughtfully, remembering that fateful night on the train. Fletch dabbed at her arm with a piece of cotton wool, and pressed it forcefully on the tiny, pin prick of blood visible in the crease of her arm.

"Hold that, will ya" he instructed, reaching behind him for extra supplies.

Tess did as she was told and applied pressure to the cotton wool swab.

"It's probably be my blood sugar again" She told him, as Fletch taped down the dressing. " I haven't been eating properly"

"Tess-"

Fletch snapped off his gloves and pinned Tess with an admonishing glare.

"I'll do a BM stick, just to make sure"

"Fletch, I need to get back to the ED. And you're busy enough here without me taking up one of your beds!" Tess insisted, swinging her legs over the side of her bed.

"I'll be fine!-" Tess stopped abruptly and snapped her eyes shut, willing the room to stop spinning long enough for her to get to her feet. She swayed slightly, and pressed her palm against her forehead as she waited for the moment to pass.

"Oh no you don't!"

Fletch placed his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back down onto the bed.

"Tess, you're dehydrated and clearly exhausted. You're on my ward now, and what I say goes." Fletch said firmly, his gaze softening on his former boss. "I'll run these bloods to the lab, and get them to get a wiggle on, alright?"

Tess nodded

"Good"

Fletch's gaze dropped to Tess' notes he held in his hand.

"You get some rest" he said softly, absently fiddling with the corner of her notes. "It's about time you let someone else take care of you for a bit"

"Fletch-"

Fletch's head snapped up, his green eyes wide with hope. He didn't really know what he expected to hear- maybe buried somewhere deep down, he hoped for some sort of acknowledgement of their history, and the way he knew they both felt. Maybe, on the other hand, he was suffering from delusions of grandeur and Tess had, in fact, as she pointed out a week ago, moved on and suggested Fletch do the same. Maybe Tess was right. Maybe it was time to put the past behind them.

Tess' heart ached as their gaze caught and held. The love she saw in his beautiful eyes almost took her breath away. Tess knew what she wanted to say, but the words caught fast in her throat.

"Thanks"

Fletch nodded, feeling that last, little piece of hope slip away

"No problem"

Fletch cleared his throat and attempted a smile.

"I'll...er... Get these off to the lab then" he said a little awkwardly, gesturing with Tess' blood samples "Put your feet up and make yourself at home. I'll be back in a bit"

Fletch turned and trudged back towards reception.

"MC, do us a favour, and get the lab to put a rush on these" Fletch asked, handing Mary-Claire the samples. Fletch sighed, rubbing his hand wearily over the lines that seemed to permanently crease his brow.

"Sure, no problem" Mary-Claire glanced up at her boss "Is everything okay? I saw Tess-"

Fletch nodded, a wry smile settling across his features.

"What can I say? I'm a crap husband and my life's a monumental cock up, but apart from that everything's peachy"

Fletch tossed Tess' notes on the desk and folded his arms over the top. He buried his head in his folded arms and blew out his cheeks in frustration.

"Can I give you some advice?"

Fletch glanced up and his eyes narrowed on the pretty Irish Nurse

"No, but I get the feeling you will anyway"

Fletch returned his head to the relative safety of his folded arms.

Mary-Claire rounded the desk and stood beside Fletch, glancing back over her shoulder at Tess.

"Tell her how you feel. What have you got to lose? My guess is she's feeling exactly the same way, and then you'll know for sure"

"And you know how I feel?" Came Fletch's muffled reply.

"Oh come on, Fletch. It's obvious. Even Mags in the coffee shop knows, the way you've been mooning around the ward lately"

Fletch raised his head and glared at Mary-Claire.

"Mooning?"

"That's what I said"

Suddenly, Fletch broke into a wide grin

"I think you and I have got a very different idea of the word mooning, MC" Fletch chuckled, earning himself a slap on the arm from the nurse.

"Shut up, Fletch! I'm serious!"

"She's right" Harry appeared beside Fletch.

"Oh, don't you start!" Fletch exclaimed, wounded "and I hardly think you're one to dish out relationship advice, Dr Casanova"

"A Point, well made" Harry replied after a momentary pause. "Anyway, you wanted me to take a look at a patient?"

Fletch stood upright and gestured over to the other side of the ward.

"It's Tess. She had a bit of a wobble earlier. She's dehydrated so I've set her up with a litre of normal saline, and I'm just waiting on her bloods to come back."

Harry nodded and scanned his eyes over Tess' notes.

"She says she hasn't been eating properly, so I'm gonna do a BM stick, just to be sure. She says she's fine, but-"

Fletch shuffled his feet awkwardly on the spot.

"Could you have a look at her, just to rule out anything else? You'd be doing me a favour"

Harry looked up from the notes.

"You're worried about her"

Fletch shrugged resignedly and looked over his shoulder at Tess. Of course he worried. He couldn't help it. He watched as she pushed herself up in the bed and rifled through a stack of magazines he'd left beside her.

"Oh, and let's keep this between us, yeah? " Fletch said, looking back at Harry "She'd kill me if she knew I asked ya"

"Don't worry, I'm the soul of discretion" Harry winked, slapping Fletch on the arm as he brushed past. Fletch's eyes followed Harry across the ward until he reached Tess' beside, engaging the nurse in his usual flirtatious conversation.

"Yeah, that's what I'm worried about" Fletch mumbled. Fletch's eyes widened as Tess' briefly met his before she turned back to Dr Tressler, who reached out and drew the curtain round the bed.

...

"What's the verdict?"

Tess' dark eyes looked up at Fletch as the nurse began to busy himself removing the now empty bag of saline.

"You'll live" Fletch replied, refusing to look at Tess as he removed all the needles and wires that still attached her to the IV.

Tess frowned at Fletchs offhand comment and absently rubbed at the area where the cannula had been.

"Right, thanks" she replied awkwardly, still confused at Fletch's sudden change in mood " I'd better get back to the ED"

"No"

Tess looked up in shock, her fist clutching the bed covers

"I'm still waiting on a few results, so I want to monitor you here " Fletch finished, still refusing to look at her. "Your BMs four"

"So? I'll have a big dinner. Fletch, I've got a department to run, a job to do"

"And you're my patient, on my ward!" His eyes finally met hers, and instantly he regretted his harsh tone. "I've spoken to Mrs Beauchamp and Zoe, and they both agree the ED can manage, so you're staying put"

"Unless you're completely blind or just plain stupid" Tess hissed, angry that Fletch had gone behind her back "My most senior nurse is in ICU, my band six ran away because he couldn't even manage his own life, let alone a department and Rita, well, she's quite frankly, borderline alcoholic-"

Fletch stood up to his full height, a scowl settling across his handsome face.

"That's unfair, Tess-"

"Is it?!"

Tess' dark gaze bore into his own,

"Fine" Fletch replied flatly, holding his hand out towards the door "Go then. I was trying to help"

"Well don't" Tess replied, freeing herself from the last of the wires. She sat up and clambered off the bed, relieved that the dizziness finally seemed to have passed.

"I don't need your help"

Fletch bowed his head as Tess straightened her scrubs

"I still care, Tess. That won't change"

Tess paused and looked up at Fletch. Immediately, all the self loathing bubbled back to the surface. Fletch had only ever put her feelings first, no matter how much it hurt his own. She hated being so tough with him, but it was the only way to stop herself letting this man back into her life.

Tearing her gaze away from his, Tess walked away, brushing past Fletch as she went. Fletch didn't even bother to steal a glance over his shoulder, Tess was probably long gone. She was always going to move on, but Fletch hadn't banked on it being so hard for him to do the same. With a heavy sigh, Fletch turned and made his way back to reception. Tess only got as far as the doors, before she stopped and turned back to look at Fletch, who stared sightlessly at the computer screen in front of him. Tess looked away and pushed open the door, willing her body to walk through and leave, but something was holding her back. She looked back at Fletch and found he was no longer alone.

"Fletch, what's going on?"

Fletch looked up and found Colette standing beside him, a stack of files clutched tightly against her chest

"Um..." Fletch glanced around the ward, attempting to ignore the empty bed that Tess had occupied. He blinked and looked back at Colette

"Is that a trick question?" He grinned cheerfully, even though he felt anything but.

"I've been trying to page you for the last hour!" Colette admonished, thumping the files onto the desk "where have you been?"

Fletch frowned and rummaged around in his pocket for his pager. He stared at the display and closed his eyes

"Sorry Col, I got tied up with a patient" Fletch sighed, dropping the pager back into his pocket.

"Yeah, well in about half an hour, Guy Self will be walking through AAU with a member of the hospital board, and were desperately understaffed! Again!"

Colette rolled up her sleeves and pushed her unruly fringe out of her eyes.

"What are you playing at Fletch?!" Colette demanded

"I'm not playing at anything!" Fletch retorted, moving closer to his ex fiancée. "It's not my fault three nurses phoned in sick after having a dodgy kebab!"

Fletch held up three fingers, just in case Colette was in any doubt

"Fletch, where are we going to find three nurses in half an hour?!" Colette whispered. Fletch reached out his hand in an effort to calm Colette.

"Don't panic, Collywobble. I'll sort it, alright?"

"Well, make sure you do" Colette replied, snatching up her paperwork "Otherwise it will be both our funerals!"

Fletch watched as Colette stalked off to her next patient, wondering how on earth he was going to fix this mess.

...

Fletch replaced the receiver in the cradle for the last time and held his head in his hands. This was it, the end of his career at Holby City. He'd pushed his luck once too often, and didn't really have anyone to blame but himself. Whenever he'd been left in charge of the ED, it invariably ended in disaster, so why would this be any different? Maybe he just wasn't management material. Fletch took one last look around the office, before he stood, deciding he may as well get it over with and face the music. With an impending sense of dread, Fletch left his office and slowly closed the door behind him.

"You're brilliant!"

Fletch jumped as Colette materialised beside him, and in one swift movement, she reached up and kissed him firmly on the cheek.

Fletch remained rooted to the spot in shock.

"What was that for?" Fletch asked, slightly dazed by Colette's very public display of affection.

"Come and see!" Colette replied excitedly. She grabbed his hand, and pulled him over to the ward.

Fletch's eyes widened in surprise at the scene before him. Guy Self was stood with the representative from the hospital board, deep in conversation with patient, and a nurse he recognised. The nurse was Rita.

His mouth dropped open as he looked around, Kojo, Tash and three agency nurses he vaguely recognised were all there, each dealing with a patient as Guy Self continued his tour of AAU.

"I-I didn't do this-" Fletch said, looking down at Colette

"Does it matter who did?" Colette asked, grinning from ear to ear. She nudged Fletch as Guy Self approached.

"Well, Nurse Fletcher, I have to say I'm impressed" Guy said smugly, as he looked around the ward. "Thank you" Fletch nodded, clasping his hands behind his back "I always say I like my ward running like a well oiled machine!"

"Indeed" smiled Guy, turning his attention back to the two nurses. "Fletch, I'd like you to meet John Cassidy from the hospital board, John, this is our AAU ward manager Adrian Fletcher, and Director of Nursing Colette Sheward"

"Pleased to meet you, Adrian"

"Nice to meet ya" Fletch grinned, shaking Johns hand enthusiastically "and call me Fletch. Most people do"

John nodded and exchanged a greeting with Colette.

"You're doing a fine job here, both of you" John told them "You two make an excellent team. I just hope the ED can live up to the high expectations you've set up here"

Colette and Fletch exchanged a quick glance as John looked round at Guy

"Guy, shall we?"

Guy nodded, and the two men walked side by side towards the exit.

Fletch let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and looked down at Colette

"Wow, that was a close call"

"Yeah, too close, maybe? " Colette said, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"See, even he said we make a good team" Fletch beamed, giving Colette a playful nudge "maybe we should go for that dinner I promised you, to celebrate"

"I'll think about it" Colette replied with a small smile, attempting to smother the burgeoning sense of hope. Fletch watched intently as she crossed the ward to attend to another patient, passing Rita as she went and finally, as curiosity got the better of him, he ambled over to where Rita worked, determined to reveal the identity of the person who'd single handedly saved his career.

...

"So, what's with the cavalry?" Fletch asked as he helped Rita lift Mrs Wheeler off the bed and into her wheelchair.

"Tess rang around and said there was some overtime going in AAU" Rita explained, leaning over and adjusting the feet on Mrs Wheelers chair. "Tess knew I was thinking about working here and she suggested it would be good experience."

"Did she?" Fletch rested his hand on the handle of the chair and he gazed down at the top of Rita's blonde head as she arranged Mrs Wheelers slippered feet on the footrests.

"Yeah, and Tash has just bought a house with Nick so she's in desperate need of extra cash, and Kojos got an extra mouth to feed now."

Rita stood up and met Fletch's gaze, a knowing smile playing across her face.

"It's not a problem, is it?"

"Tess. Did all this" Fletch asked again, just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. He grabbed a blanket off the chair and handed it to Rita.

"Yes. She did" Rita nodded, laying the blanket across Mrs Wheelers lap without breaking a stride.

"Tess disappeared into her office as soon as she got back to the ED. Said she had a few phone calls to make"

Fletch eyed Rita thoughtfully, and thrust his arm towards the nurse, forcing her to a standstill.

"Pinch me"

"What ? "

"Pinch me. Just to make sure I'm not dreaming!"

Rita tutted and Fletch chuckled at her withering look

"Still think she doesn't care?" Rita asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, thanks anyway" Fletch replied, leaning over the chair towards Rita "although I'm not sure this is the sort of conversation we should be having in front of a patient!"

"It's not me you need to thank" Rita smiled "and don't worry about Harriet, she's as deaf as a post!"

Fletch grinned as Rita crouched down in front of Mrs Wheelers chair and tucked the blanket in round her legs.

"ALRIGHT MY LOVE?" Rita yelled, patting the top of the blanket

Harriet's head jerked upwards, as though she'd only just seen them for the first time. She flashed them both a toothless grin as their young faces came into view.

"Oh yes dear, thank you" the grey haired old lady replied loudly. Rita rounded the chair, released the brake and gave her friend a wink as she pushed Harriet Wheeler away down the corridor.

...

"Joel Barnett, Please!" Tess called from her vantage point by the doors in triage. When no one answered, Tess glanced down at the admission slip just to double check she had the right name.

"Joel Barnett!" She called again, a little louder this time as her dark eyes scanned the chairs.

"That's me!"

Tess looked up at the tall, athletic dark haired man standing in front of her, gingerly cradling his left arm. His face was painted ghostly white, enhancing the dark set of eyes that peered down at her. He wore a long, black cloak and trickles of wonky red pastil or whatever it was, that looked like it had been drawn on by a five year old, descended from each corner of his lips, down towards his chiseled jaw. Tess' eyes widened as her eyes settled on his perfect mouth, and fought to suppress the giggle that threatened to escape.

"Jesus, sorry!" the American spluttered, completely mortified as he spat out the set of plastic vampire teeth that encased his own perfectly white teeth. His endearing awkwardness reminded Tess of a cross between Ethan Hardy and an American version of Hugh Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

"My names Tess, I'm a Senior Nurse" Tess began, using her usual line to buy her time to compose herself . "If you'd like to follow me-"

Joel Barnett gave a small nod and obiediently limped behind Tess as she lead him towards cubicles.

Tess entered the cubicle and drew the curtain around her before she approached the bed where Joel Barnett perched on the edge, his black cloak hanging haphazardly to the left.

"Let me take a look at that" Tess murmured and Joel allowed her to take his forearm gently in her hands.

"It's not fractured" he said simply, as Tess moved her fingers up and down his forearm.

"Oh really. " Tess said with a half smile as she moved her fingers around his elbow, and moved his arm gently from side to side. Joel winced as Tess released her hold on Joel's muscular arm and picked up his notes from the end of the bed, not really wanting to admit he was probably right.

"And how would you know that without an X-Ray ?" Tess asked, her eyes fixed firmly on the page.

"A medical degree"

Tess hesitated, her pen hovering over his notes as she slowly looked up into his deep, brown eyes.

"You're a-"

"Doctor, yes-" Joel confirmed with a slight hint of well attributed arrogance. He winced again and rested his injured arm in a more comfortable position " In Emergency Medicine actually" he continued, pleased he'd piqued Tess' interest. " I'm a Surgeon and Trauma Fellow at County General ER in Chicago. I worked with Guy over there for a while, and now seemed the time to take him up on his offer"

Tess glanced up, her dark eyes narrowing on his.

"What offer?"

"A job"

Tess folded her arms across her chest and took a step back, furious that Guy Self apparently deemed it necessary to send a spy down to the ED and waste their precious time, rather than making time in his busy schedule to come himself.

"So, if you know your arms not fractured, why are you here?"

A small smile worked its way onto Joel's face at the pure indignation set across the nurses beautiful features, and he coughed in an effort to clear not only his throat, but his growing attraction to this wonderfully strong woman standing in front of him.

"Because of this"

Joel reached down and rolled up his trouser leg to reveal a nasty, bloody gash just above his knee, so deep it was almost down to the bone. He looked up and smiled at the look in Tess' eye.

"I think it needs sutures..."


	17. Chapter 17

Joel Barnett sat on the end of the bed in cubicles, his injured arm resting comfortably in a sling. Tess had insisted on sending him to X-Ray, just to rule out a fracture, despite Joel's protests. A little part of her hoped he was wrong, but the X-Rays came back fine.

Tess returned to the cubicle after Max had delivered him back from X-Ray, pulling a trolley full of equipment behind her.

Tess drew back the curtain to find Max still in the cubicle, doubled up with laughter.

"This guys a legend" Max giggled as he took Tess' arrival as his cue to leave. Tess watched with amusement as Max moved on to his next patient, still shaking his head and giggling to himself.

"I see you've made quite an impression" Tess smiled as she pulled the curtain back round.

"He's a good kid" Joel replied, shifting position to allow Tess to examine his wound. "Great way to start a new job, huh?"

Joel gritted his teeth and winced in pain.

Tess smiled as she reached for a swab and gently wiped it round the wound

"How did it happen?" Tess asked, unaware Joel was watching her every move.

"Trick or Treating with the kids" Joel explained with a sigh. For a split second, Tess felt her heart sink "tripped over a bucket, slipped on a patch of ice and cracked my knee on a doorstep. Nothing major" he grinned.

"You have children?" Tess murmured as she replaced the swab on the trolley and switched it for a needle

"Three. Lydia's eleven, Chris is nine and Natalie's five, and before you ask, yes Natty's responsible for the fake blood thing" Joel replied, pointing towards his mouth.

Tess felt Joel's leg stiffen in her hands and she looked up to see a look of apprehension flit briefly across his eyes.

"A doctor."Tess stated, her eyes smiling. "And you're afraid of needles?"

"Not afraid exactly. Wary" Joel replied, his leg relaxing at Tess' touch. "Ever since I was a kid. As long as they're being poked into another patient and not me, I'm good"

Tess giggled

"I'll be gentle" she assured him, surprising herself at her flirtatious banter. It was so unlike her.

"I'm sure you will" Joel replied with a glint in his eye.

Joel sat deathly still as Tess gently inserted the needle and injected the anaesthetic. When she'd finished, she replaced the needle on the trolley.

"Didn't even hurt" Joel smiled, his body visibly relaxing. Tess busied herself tidying the rubbish on the trolley and throwing it into the clinical waste bin.

"Do you need me to call anyone for you?" Tess asked, as she waited for the anaesthetic to kick in. "Friends? Family? Wife?"

"Ex"

Tess swung around and faced Joel. His smile had disappeared and his eyes captured hers in a serious gaze.

"I'm sorry?"

"Ex wife" Joel clarified, a hint of a smile returning "I'm divorced"

Tess took a deep breath and gently touched his knee

"Can you feel that?" She asked, her eyes locked with his. Joel held her gaze and slowly shook his head.

Tess quickly snatched up a needle and began to stitch his wound.

"Anyone else you'd like me to call?"

"No. Maybe Guy actually, just to let him know what's going on" Joel replied, rubbing the back of his neck. Tess nodded, and kept her eyes firmly fixed on her work.

"All done" Tess said when she'd finished. She turned away and replaced her equipment on the trolley as Joel stretched out his leg and admired Tess' handiwork

"Wow, that's better than some of the top surgeons I work with. Myself and Guy included!"

"I hardly think so" Tess smiled and pushed back the curtain. Across the other side of the ED, three young children stood huddled together next to a young girl, Tess could only assume was a nanny.

"My ex wife" Joel suddenly said, drawing Tess' attention to the tall, red head standing beside the nanny in sky scraper heels that even Zoe would have trouble walking in. The woman turned and caught sight of her ex husband sat in the cubicle, and strode over effortlessly in her heels.

"Amanda" Joel nodded awkwardly. The woman whipped off her oversized sunglasses and pushed them up onto her head.

"Joel" she scowled, not bothering to acknowledge Tess' presence. Tess looked away, pretending to tidy the trolley.

"I'm taking the kids home with me." She told him in a very English accent. "You can collect them in the morning when you're feeling a bit more..." She glanced down at the wound on his knee, and her blue eyes travelled up to the sling supporting his injured arm.

"Up to it" she finished, hoisting her bag onto her skinny shoulder.

"Fine by me" Joel replied, the warmth to his voice all but gone. Tess felt a tear prick at the corner of her eye, as her thoughts wandered to Fletch. Was this how he and Natalie were?

Amanda quickly left, leaving Tess and Joel alone. Joel watched sadly as Amanda disappeared out of the ED, holding the hand of five year old Natalie, and the older two children walking quite a way in front.

"It doesn't get any easier" Joel said, hopping off the bed and gingerly placing his foot on the floor.

"You couldn't work it out?" Tess asked, thoughts of Fletch still firmly in the forefront of her mind.

"Not when I found her in bed with my brother"

"Oh-" Tess bowed her head

"Hey" Joel smiled, giving Tess a gentle nudge " It was the best thing that could've happened to me"

"Oh?" Tess asked again, raising her eyebrows.

"Sure" Joel nodded. "It leaves me free to ask you out for a drink"

Tess felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she looked around the ED, rubbing her chest nervously.

"Tess, it's a drink, not a proposal" Joel beamed, catching Tess' eye. Their eyes flickered back and forth and Tess opened her mouth to respond, when a familiar voice had them both swivelling on their heel.

"Joel!"

Guy Self strode towards them with a very deliberate stride, with Zoe close behind.

"My God!" Guy exclaimed, finally reaching them. "What's happened?"

"Had an accident trick or treating" Joel replied "It looks worse than it is"

He hopped slightly on the spot as he attempted to put weight on his injured leg, prompting Tess to look away, hiding the wide smile that threatened to spread across her face.

"Hmmmm" Guy mused, taking in his colleagues painted white face and vampire attire "Well I hope you've been looked after to your satisfaction?"

"Oh definitely" Joel answered, catching Tess' eye.

Zoe looked at Joel, and then at Tess', noticing the slight flush to her cheeks. Zoe grinned and looked down at her notes.

"Joel, I'd like you to meet Dr Zoe Hanna." Guy said, gesturing towards Zoe " I'm afraid Mrs Beauchamp is otherwise engaged, or she'd be here to greet you personally"

"So you're stuck with me, I'm afraid " Zoe smiled, ignoring Guys somewhat rueful look

"Dr Carter" Joel flashed Zoe his dazzling smile, and took her outstretched hand. "Call me Joel"

"Joel, if you're feeling up to it, I'd like you to meet John Cassidy from the hospital board-" Guy continued, placing a hand on Joel's back and guiding him away from Zoe and Tess.

Zoe and Tess watched as Joel limped humorously away, stealing a quick glance over his shoulder at Tess as he went.

"Sister Bateman!" Zoe exclaimed, "Have you just pulled a surgeon?"

Tess looked up at the wide grin that had spread across Zoe's face.

"It's just a drink" Tess assured her as they walked back to reception. Tess rested her hand on the desk " And I'm still not sure I'll go"

"You'll go " Zoe took a deep breath and tucked her hair behind her ear, her smile fading slightly.

"Just make sure it's what you want, before you go jumping in" Zoe advised, a look of concern settling across her face.

Tess frowned

"I don't know what you mean-"

"I'll rephrase that" Zoe replied, resting her hand on Tess' shoulder "Make sure it's who you want, okay?"

Zoe squeezed her shoulder and picked up a stack of patient notes from behind reception

"I've got patients to see" she said quietly, before leaving Tess alone with her thoughts.

...

A few hours later, Tess finally saw her last patient out of the ED, and could finally look forward to the hot bubble bath and bottle of wine she'd promised herself. Tess was about to make her way towards her office when a voice in her ear startled her.

"Thank you"

Tess jumped slightly at the sensation of his breath against her neck, and she didn't need to turn around to know who it was. He was deliciously close, she could sense it, and all she had to do was turn around...

"For what?" Tess asked flatly, pushing past Fletch as she attempted to slow her racing heart. She still wasn't ready to forgive him quite yet for prying into her personal life.

"You know what" Fletch said simply, following close behind as Tess made her way to reception. Tess rounded the desk and pretended to search through a stack of paperwork for a seemingly non existent file. Fletch stood in front, smiling inwardly at Tess' flustered disposition.

"What you did upstairs. I appreciate it" Fletch said, leaning over the desk as he watched Tess search underneath.

"Forget it. It's nothing"

Fletch picked up a file balanced on the phone and thrust it towards Tess . Tess snapped up straight and snatched it from between his fingers.

"You saved me from getting the boot. I'd hardly call that nothing" Fletch replied, following close on Tess' heel as she rounded reception and strode towards her office.

"I said forget it"

Fletch frowned and jogged the last few steps to catch up with her.

"Tess, will you stop a minute!" He exclaimed, grabbing her gently by the wrist and tugging her back towards him. Reluctantly, Tess stopped and turned to face him.

Fletch released his hold and his arm dropped back to his side.

"Look, I know what with everything that's happened, I'm the last person you want to see" He acknowledged, his green eyes softening on the nurse. Tess averted her gaze, resting her palms on the back of her hips.

"Why don't we try and put this all behind us and start again. Move forward, starting today?" Fletch asked with a half smile, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Tess thought for a moment about his proposition. Before all this mess, they'd actually been good friends. They asked each other's advice, confided in each other and respected each other professionally. It seemed madness to throw it all away. If they could get somewhere near to how they used to be, Tess felt she'd finally be righting a wrong.

Tess nodded and raised her eyes to meet his.

"Friends?"

"Friends" Tess agreed, with a slight hint of uncertainty lacing her voice. "Anyway, where are you off to all dressed up?" Tess asked, referring to the red and white checked shirt and jeans Fletch wore.

"Just Robyn's house party" Fletch grinned, gesturing with his hand " it's not really my scene, but I thought I'd make an effort and show me face"

"I thought it was fancy dress?" Tess asked with a slight frown, as Fletch walked close by her side towards the exit

"I don't really see me as Frankenstein, do you?" Fletch replied, raising his eyebrow as Tess glanced up with a smile

"Actually, don't answer that"

Fletch stopped in the middle of the corridor, and as he turned to face her, Tess actually found herself chuckling at his idiotic sense of humour. It never failed to bring a smile to her face.

"Idiot, Fletch" Tess muttered, not realising she'd said it aloud.

Fletch felt a warmth encompass him and smiled to himself at the newly returned sparkle in her eye.

"It's good to see you smiling again" Fletch remarked as he watched Tess' face light up as she laughed. Something she hadn't done a lot of around him these last few months. It felt good to have her back.

"Yeah, well... have a good evening and I'm sure I'll see you around" Tess replied, closing her fingers over the top of the file as she waited for Fletch to respond.

"I hope so" Fletch replied sincerely

"Goodnight"

Fletch hesitated as his eyes met hers.

"Night"

...

Tess quickly changed out of her scrubs and into a simple blouse and jeans and hurried out of her office before any of her staff had the presence of mind to try and waylay her with another patient. She hadn't gone far when Connie strode towards her from the other direction, her face like thunder.

"Tess!" She called, before Tess had the chance to change course and disappear off in the other direction. Tess stopped, and mentally prepared herself for whatever it was that had caused the evident displeasure that currently contorted Connie's perfect features.

"Connie, I'm just on my way ho-"

"What sort of incompetent half wits do you employ? "Connie barked, leaving Tess completely dumbfounded.

"I beg your pardon?" Tess retorted once the initial shock had subsided.

The reason for Connie's infuriation quickly became clear, as Robyn and Lofty bounded over from cubicles, slowing as they realised they were five minutes too late.

"I give them specific instructions and they do the exact opposite!"

Connie exhaled sharply and glared at the nurses.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Beauchamp" Lofty spoke up "but we felt there was more to this... He's clearly scared of his wife!"

Connie whirled around to face the curly haired nurse

"Lofty! We are NOT marriage councillors, that's beyond even my skillset!"

Tess' eyes widened as Joel limped slowly over to the group with his newly acquired crutches, and hovered behind Connie, watching the exchange with interest.

"But the money?" Lofty asked, his brows knitting together in a frown

"We are not private detectives either!"

"Firstly, my nurses are not incompetent!"

The arguing ceased abruptly at Tess' interruption, and slowly, Connie turned to face her

"Neither are they half wits"

Robyn and Lofty glanced at each other and exchanged a smile. Tess was back.

"I'm sorry, Tess-" Connie began with a shake of her head "did you not hear-"

"I heard" Tess confirmed with a nod " Their job is to nurse, Connie. They are responsible for the patients well being, and not just physically! We wouldn't be doing our job if we didn't look at things from all perspectives"

Connie took a deep breath and looked away, realising this was an argument she wasn't going to win.

"Robyn and Lofty are competent nurses, and I will not have anyone say otherwise" Tess glanced over Connie's shoulder at the two nurses, her dark eyes softening on the pair.

"Fine. If you won't sort this circus out, then maybe I should" Connie replied, her head snapping back towards Tess.

"Umm.. I'm not sure how it works around here just yet-" Joel cut in, as he adjusted his arms in his crutches and limped to Tess' side

"But I'm pretty sure you don't have any jurisdiction over the nursing staff. Am I right?"

Connie glanced sideways at the newcomer, her eyes travelling over his casual green T shirt and jeans and stethoscope that hung around his neck. He wasn't quite what Connie pictured for the new consultant. Her eyes widened on her newest adversary, but far from being beaten, Connie thrived on a challenge.

"This conversation isn't over"

"I believe it is" Joel replied with a curt nod.

Connie's eyes flickered from Joel to Tess, and without another word, Connie swivelled on her heel and strode away down the corridor.

Robyn and Lofty exchanged a smile and turned to face their boss.

"Tess, that was brilliant!" Robyn giggled, clapping her hands together in glee. "She was actually speechless!"

"Yes, well-" Tess began, looking at Joel darkly "I want to see you both in my office first thing tomorrow morning"

Robyn's gleeful smile quickly faded and she glanced up at Lofty.

"But I thought-"

""I may not want to give Mrs Beauchamp the satisfaction of reprimanding my nurses, but it doesn't mean she didn't have a point." Tess' gaze settled on Lofty "I'll see you both in the morning"

"Come on" Robyn mumbled, swatting Lofty's arm with the back of her hand and Tess watched the two nurses disappear into separate cubicles.

"They're quite a handful" Joel smiled, turning his attentions to Tess. She returned his smile with one of her own.

"Their hearts in the right place. Although dealing with Mrs Beauchamp can be quite draining at times"

"Connie? Nah, she's a pussycat compared to some of the Chiefs I've worked for" Joel grinned, gesturing with his crutch. Tess giggled and looked up at Joel. His face was now mostly free of white paint, but a small smudge remained on the side of his forehead.

"What?" Joel asked, noting the amused look on Tess' face as her dark eyes flickered upwards.

"You've...Um... White paint..." Tess gestured aimlessly towards her own forehead and Joel quickly whipped out a tissue and wiped away the smudge of paint.

"Thanks."Joel replied, slightly embarrassed as he stuffed the tissue back into his jeans. "Hey, Listen, I was just about to head off. I don't suppose you fancy a drink, do you?" He asked, his eyes rising to meet Tess'.

Tess glanced over her shoulder, Zoe's words echoing in her mind. 'Make sure it's who you want'

She and Fletch were ancient history, so what harm could a drink do?

"Okay. Why not"

...

Fletch pushed open the gate and made his way up the path towards Robyn's front door. The audible sound of music could be heard through the door, and he wondered for the hundredth time why he'd let Robyn talk him into coming.

Fletch reached the front door, and almost succumbed to the urge to turn around and run, but he'd done too much of that lately. And he'd made Robyn a promise.

Slowly, he raised his hand and knocked once.

"Trick or Treat!"

The front door flew open to reveal Robyn in her witches costume, complete with illuminous green hair.

"Fletch! You came!"

"Course I did, Darlin'" Fletch smiled, leaning in to Robyn's embrace "Couldn't let ya down could I?"

Robyn slid her arm round Fletch's waist and guided him inside, closing the door behind him.

Fletch stood in the kitchen, staring sightlessly into the open fridge. He was glad that Tess had finally accepted his apology of sorts and that she would still be a part of his life, even if they were separated by a few flights of stairs. Maybe now, they could get back their old way of working together, and somehow move forward in the right direction. Fletch grabbed a bottle of beer and made his way into the living room, chuckling to himself as he weaved his way through small group of goblins, vampires and skeletons congregated by the door. It was only when he did a double take, he finally recognised the monsters as Cal, Ethan and Lofty. Fletch perched on the arm of the sofa and sipped his beer thoughtfully.

"Are you hating this as much as I am?"

Fletch glanced up and smiled as Zoe flopped down onto the sofa beside him and kicked off her shoes with a sigh of relief.

"Probably more" Fletch grinned, taking another sip of beer. "Still, thought I'd grin and bear it for Robyn's sake"

"Nothing else to do on a Friday night? I don't believe it" Zoe asked teasingly, leaning back against the cushions as she nursed her glass of wine.

"Yeah well, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly inundated with offers"

Fletch bowed his head and absently picked at the corner of the label.

"Tess still giving you a hard time?" Zoe asked, looking at Fletch with concern. Fletch quickly shook his head

"Nah, I think we've managed to finally move past it-"

"That's a step in the right direction" Zoe replied hopefully. They both looked up and smiled as Robyn began an inebriated dance to One Direction in the middle of the living room.

"I get the feeling there's a but-"

Fletch looked round and shrugged a shoulder

"I dunno"

Fletch sighed and looked down into his almost empty beer bottle.

"I miss her, Zoe" Fletch replied simply, staring at the bottle of beer as he rolled it back and forth between his hands. Zoe cleared her throat and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

"Then why are you still sat here with me?"

Fletch kept his eyes firmly fixed on the bottle and slowly took another sip.

"Tess isn't going to hang around forever, Fletch. She will find someone else eventually"

"She deserves better than me"

"Why don't you let Tess decide that"

Fletch finally raised his eyes to meet Zoe's

"I wanna do the right thing. Tess asked me to let her go-"

He tore his gaze away from Zoe's, and rolled his eyes to the ceiling

"This is all such a mess, Zoe"

"Do you still love her?"

Fletch kept his eyes fixed on the carpet and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. Fletch didn't have to say a word, because Zoe already knew the answer.

Zoe sat forward and whipped the bottle out of his hand.

"Go"

"Eh? Oi! I hadn't finished that!" Fletch exclaimed indignantly, watching as Zoe raised the bottle to her lips and finished off the dregs.

"Now you have" Zoe smiled, and Fletch couldn't help but grin at her audacity

"What's changed?" Fletch asked, trying to fathom the consultants sudden change of mind. "It wasn't long ago you wanted me and Tess as far away from each other as possible!"

Zoe hesitated, her wine glass half way to her lips and surveyed Fletch over the rim.

"I didn't say anything of the sort!"

"Erm...I don't want this to tear apart my department. I won't let it" Fletch mimicked, quoting Zoe word for word.

Zoe grinned and took another sip of wine.

"Ok, so maybe I did" Zoe replied, shuffling forward so she was perching on the edge of the sofa. She glanced over Fletch's shoulder and saw Max enter the room, his arms crammed full of bottles vodka and Jack whooped at his arrival and her smile softened as her eyes travelled over his elaborate costume. He wore a smart pin stripe suit and his face was painted entirely white, with an electric shock of green hair that Zoe surmised was the result of the hairspray bottle he'd been trying to hide in his locker earlier that day. Fletch followed her gaze across the room and his eyes came to rest on none other than the Joker.

"You sure it's me you're talking about?"

Fletch looked back at Zoe and met her gaze.

"Don't end up regretting the choices you've made, Fletch" Zoe replied as she got to her feet " Life's too short"

Fletch watched as Zoe approached Max and whispered something in his ear as she brushed past, her body tantalisingly close to his. Max's face lit up as she left, and he quickly made his excuses and followed her out into the hall. A thought suddenly crossed Fletch's mind as he replayed through his conversation with Zoe, and he frowned. Had Tess already found someone else? A wave of nausea suddenly engulfed the nurse as he thought about Tess sharing her life, her hopes and fears, and her happiness with someone else. He hated it, as much as he didn't want to admit it to himself. Admitting it would be saying out loud what he'd been fighting so hard to forget these past few months- the real reason why he returned to Holby. He certainly didn't want to cause Tess any more pain than he already had.

Fletch grabbed his bag and jacket from beside the sofa and slipped surreptitiously past the group of dancing witches and out of the house, shivering slightly as the cold air penetrated through the thin material of his sleeves.

"Something we said?"

Max pulled away from Zoe's embrace, and stared as the front door slammed shut behind Fletch's retreating form.

"He's got a lot on his mind" Zoe whispered, staring deep into Max's eyes as he tightened his grip around her waist and pushed her against the wall

"Let me guess..." Max nudged the tip of his nose against Zoe's. "He's pining after someone completely out of his reach, the gap as gaping as the age..."

Zoe silenced him with a manicured finger against his lips, and he slowly smiled, jerking his head towards the living room door.

"What if someone sees?"

Zoe's dark eyes flickered towards the door, the potent mixture of alcohol and lust the contributing factors in her sudden, unexpected insouciant attitude towards their relationship.

"Does that bother you?" Zoe asked, her eyes returning to his, as she inched closer towards Max.

Max's eyes danced across her face and he slipped his arm further around her waist, pulling her close against him.

"Does it bother you?"

The question hung starkly in the air between them for a few moments, before Zoe reached round and took hold hold of his hand that held her waist, lacing her fingers through his. No more words were needed as slowly, she turned on her heels and led Max towards the stairs, a wide grin spreading across the porters face.


	18. Chapter 18 Revelations

Fletch pulled on his jacket and gazed up and down the dimly lit street. He sighed heavily, his exhaled breath condensing into a fog of vapour against the cold night air as he stared sightlessly in the direction that would lead him towards home. Thoughts of Tess flooded his mind, and he rubbed his hands together in attempt to rid himself of the numbness that had already reached his fingertips. Fletch shoved his hands resolutely into his pockets, protecting them from the biting wind and he turned and trudged away along the pavement in the opposite direction, circling round several small groups of trick or treaters that blocked his path. He didn't know what he'd say when he arrived, he hadn't thought that far ahead, but one thing he was certain of, he hoped he wasn't already too late.

...

Tess smiled and switched on the light, bathing the hall in warm glow as she escorted Joel from the kitchen. They lapsed into easy conversation as Tess strolled by Joel's side as he limped down the hall, telling Tess about his time in the US, and how Holby was a bit of a shock to the system.

Tess giggled as they reached the front door and Joel turned to face her, her grin fading as the awkwardness of a first date began to creep over the pair.

"I had a great time tonight" Joel said finally, breaking the awkward silence. "Maybe we can do it again sometime?"

Tess nodded, averting her gaze away from the Americans'

"I'd like that"

Tess looked up, allowing her eyes to meet his.

"I...er...you...I mean I... " Joel tutted and rolled his eyes to the ceiling, mentally cursing himself for turning into a blustering idiot in front of the only woman who'd ever had this effect on him. It had taken the stoic surgeon completely by surprise. Joel had a rule that he never got involved with colleagues, it was simpler that way, but he knew he that this was a rule he was about to break.

Tess bowed her head and smiled as Joel stumbled over his words. He was sweet and charming, there was no denying it, and it brought a warmth to her that someone other than Fletch found her attractive. Her self worth had vanished as she reflected on what they'd done to Natalie, how much she'd hurt another human being, and it felt good to be wanted again by someone that was free for Tess to love.

Joel sighed and looked back at Tess, a new found determination in his eyes.

"I'm just gonna-" he gestured towards the door, unable to tear his gaze away from Tess' "Oh what the hell-"

Joel moved forwards, resting his weight on one crutch and wrapped his free hand around her neck as he pulled her close against him. Before Tess could protest, Joel surprised her with a kiss that almost took her breath away.

Joel moved closer, framing her face with his hands as the kiss quickly became more passionate, and Tess' eyes suddenly snapped open, as thoughts of another man permeated her mind. She gently pulled away from the embrace, her eyes focussing on Joel's widening smile.

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself" Joel beamed as Tess took an age to open the front door. They both looked outside at the waiting cab, and turned back to face each other.

"It's fine."Tess replied, her fingers fiddling absently with the lock "I just didn't expect it, that's all"

Joel nodded, his heart sinking at her apparent apprehension.

Tess looked at his crestfallen face and couldn't help but feel a tug of guilt at the fact she'd led him on in effort to convince herself she wasn't in love with another man. She barely recognised herself anymore, and didn't like the person she'd become. Her life was full of lies, secrets and denial, and for once she decided to be honest with herself.

"Look, I've just come out of a complicated relationship"Tess explained, avoiding Joel's eyes. "People got hurt, I'm just not sure I'm ready for anything yet"

Her eyes once again met his, and warmed at the compassion she found there.

"Tess, it's ok. We've all been there. Me more than most"

Tess smiled weakly at his attempt to lighten the mood and Joel took a step forward, taking Tess' free hand in his. Tess looked down at their entwined fingers, but couldn't bring herself to return the gesture. It had a sense of finality, finally letting go of the past, and Tess wasn't sure she had the strength.

"Tess, I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know how I feel. I wanna be here, and I want to get to know you, and not be scared. We'll take this as slow as you want, okay?"

Joel dipped his head, forcing Tess' dark eyes to meet his and he smiled

"Okay?"

Tess returned his smile and nodded.

"Slow" she agreed, untangling her fingers from his. "I'll see you tomorrow"

Joel reached forward and kissed her cheek, before limping out into the darkness to the waiting cab.

Tess watched with amusement as Joel was accosted by a group of trick or treaters, and smiled warmly as he materialised a chocolate coin from behind the ear of a young boy dressed as a vampire. The children squealed with delight as Joel looked back at Tess and saluted his farewell before throwing his crutches into the cab and climbing into the back seat.

Tess watched the cab roar off into the night, and slowly closed the front door, hating herself even more for what she'd done.

Tess sat at her kitchen table, staring down into the contents of her glass. As she swirled around the mixture of aspirin and water, something on the back of the chair opposite caught her eye. A red hooded top was thrown haphazardly over the back, and Tess made a mental note to take it work in the morning and return it to its rightful owner. Tess picked up the glass as exhaustion finally took hold, and she made her way towards the stairs, deciding now was as good a time as any to turn in. It was early, but it had been a long day and all she wanted to do was disappear under her duvet and hide away from the outside world. She'd only placed her foot on the bottom stair, when she heard a knock on the door, and thinking Joel had returned for his forgotten jumper, she turned round and opened the front door. Instead of Joel, Fletch stood framed in the doorway, holding a bagful of takeaway in one hand, and a bottle of wine tucked under his armpit.

"Fletch-" Tess frowned, shaking her head slightly.

"Sorry, I did phone, but you weren't answering your calls" Fletch replied, his cheeky grin surfacing at the sight of her. Tess glanced over her shoulder at her mobile that was just about visible on the kitchen worktop, and turned back to Fletch.

"What are you doing here, Fletch?" Tess asked, pinning the nurse with a steely glare.

Fletch held up the carrier bag

"I bought dinner" he beamed "Knowing you, I thought you'd probably skipped dinner, so I thought I'd save you the trouble"

Tess stared at the bag, rooted to the spot.

"Tess-if I stay out here any longer, I'm gonna come down with hypothermia" he said, pulling Tess out of her trance. She looked down at his hand that gripped the handle of the bag, his knuckles reddened from the bitter cold. "Can I come in?"

Against her better judgement, Tess stood aside and allowed Fletch to enter

"Ignore the mess" Tess muttered as Fletch grinned broadly and brushed past her lightly as he entered the house, the coldness of his hands causing Tess to shiver slightly as they brushed past her own.

An hour later, Tess' disorderly house was spic and span. Every surface was gleaming and free of dust and the dirty dishes had been neatly stacked in the dishwasher. The dirty washing had been sorted into colours, and loaded into the washing machine, and the ironing had been sorted into three neat piles and stacked in an orderly fashion in the airing cupboard.

Two plates full of delicious Thai takeaway sat side by side on the table in the kitchen , complete with cutlery and napkins and soft music played in the background. Fletch took a sip of wine, and took a step back to admire his handiwork as he waited patiently for Tess to finish her bath. He surveyed the table thoughtfully and frowned. Something was missing.

Clutching his glass of wine, Fletch wandered into the living room, his eyes immediately alighting the object he'd been searching for, perching on the edge of the mantel above the fireplace. Fletch returned to the table carrying the old brass candlestick Tess' sister had given her a few Christmases ago. Fletch had called it old tat, and wasn't really his taste, but Tess was quite attached to it, and often pointed out to him that old relics were often the most beautiful. Fletch stuck it in the middle of the table, slightly off centre and hunted around in the drawers for some matches to light the small stub of a white church candle in the holder. The flame was just flickering to life when he heard movement behind him, and turned around to see Tess enter the kitchen, looking a lot less exhausted after her bath.

"You could have taken longer, you know" Fletch said, turning his back to Tess as he poured her a glass of red wine. He refilled his own, he wasn't fond of red wine, but he knew it was one of Tess' favourites, and he was in a mood to indulge her.

"You didn't need to do this, Fletch" Tess pointed out as she entered the kitchen, the smell of Thai cooking greeting her and her stomach rumbled in hungry anticipation.

"I know that" Fletch replied, turning back to face her "I wanted to. Besides, if you don't eat, you'll be no use to Charlie or anyone else" As Fletch's eyes flickered towards the table, he was suddenly uncomfortably aware that it had a romantic glow.

Fletch held out her wine, and Tess took it gratefully, smiling inwardly at his paternal tone. Her eyes catalogued the intimate setting, and took a deep breath to ensure her nerves and appreciation didn't show.

A few minutes later, they were both making inroads into their takeaway, chatting comfortably about their day.

"I'm sorry I didn't cook, but it was the best I could do at short notice" Fletch smiled, as Tess shovelled a forkful of Pad Thai into her mouth. He was pleased she was finally eating, and her mind had been so focussed on work, Tess hadn't actually realised how hungry she was.

"No, it's perfect" Tess mumbled through a mouthful of food. "But there was really no need"

"I just wanted to say thanks, that all"

"What for?" Tess looked up and Fletch smiled at her baffled expression

"What you did in AAU. I don't think you realise just how much I appreciate it. Anyway-" he continued, pointing his fork towards Tess. "The amount you do for everyone else, you deserve it"

Tess blushed and she was thankful for the candlelight. They smiled at each other across the table until a frisson of attraction had Tess reaching for her wine.

"So, I thought you were going to Robyn's Halloween party" Tess asked, taking a sip of wine.

Fletch's eyes met hers across the table once again.

"Yeah, I did" Fletch paused and stared intently at the woman sat opposite "But I'd much rather be here"

Tess tore her gaze away and nodded, grateful when Fletch shifted the topic of conversation onto the latest Jac and Elliot scandal on Darwin.

She'd longed for things to get back to normal, and agreeing to be friends had been a start, Tess thought, allowing her attention to wander. But the more time she spent in Fletch's company, the more she realised how hard it would be. She had no idea how she was going to make it work, she realised with a sinking heart.

The shrill sound of the doorbell reached the front room as the end credits of the film began to roll. They'd been watching a horror, and Tess sat in the same spot on the sofa she'd occupied since the first ten minutes, curled up against Fletch's side with her feet drawn up beneath her and a cushion clutched against her chest, covering most of the lower half of her face.

Fletch glanced and her and smiled softly, enjoying the warmth of her body against his side.

"I'll get it" he murmured, placing a hand on her leg and pushing himself to his feet. His touch startled Tess and she shifted awkwardly on the sofa, alarmed at how natural and comfortable the whole evening had been. But more than that, she was alarmed at her own ease with it. The copious amounts of wine had given Tess a fuzzy, inner glow and she stole a wistful glance as Fletch inched through the gap in the door.

As Tess turned her attentions back to the documentary on the TV, she heard the front door open, and the sound of muffled voices before Fletch padded along the hall and heard him return just a few minutes later. The front door closed and Fletch reentered the lounge, his expression darkening as he pushed the door to. He bowed his head sadly as he stood with his back to Tess, prompting her to lower the cushion that hid her face.

"Fletch?"

Fletch slowly turned around and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking anywhere but at Tess as he fought back the tears that threatened. Tess unfurled her legs and sat bolt upright, her eyes widening as he finally looked back at her.

"So, your mate came for his jumper he left here earlier" Fletch said, inclining his head towards the door and attempting to control the wobble that found its way into his voice. He looked down and kicked at the carpet with a holey sock.

Tess stood and padded barefoot across the carpet towards Fletch

"I can explain-"

"No" Fletch replied, a little more forcefully than he intended. His gaze jerked upwards and he held up his hand to stop Tess coming any closer. Tess suddenly recoiled at the harshness in his tone " There's nothing to explain. You never asked me back into your life, I get that. You've moved on, y'know what? I get that too-"

His gaze hardened as a tear of her own slipped down Tess' cheek

"I just didn't expect you to do it so easily"

"Easy!" Tess snorted incredulously and returned her eyes to Fletch's.

"Grieving for our child and moving on from you were the hardest things I've ever had to do"


End file.
